Would I be unreasonable to call his work?

[mindisdoingovertime]

So the hubby left early this morning for work. He drives around all day attending different work calls.

It is very, very icey and the weather was awful when he left at 5am this morning!

Ive tried calling him but both his work phone and normal phone is unavailable. Ive also got one tick on WhatsApp.

He sometimes works in areas of no signal but this is very rare (think once or twice over the last year).

Would I be unreasonable to contact his work and ask them to trace his works van or is this crazy woman territory? I'm so worried, ive been crying all morning, this is not like him at all. Ive checked all the local traffic reports and there was a crash this morning close to where we live and would fit his route at the right time but it says no injuries.

What would you do? Shall I wait a bit and keep trying to ring him?

Personally I’d call. But it depends on your relationship I suppose, my husband would find it sweet that I was so worried, and not annoyed.

Work may not be able to tell you much, for privacy reasons but at least you could leave contact details in the case of emergency (which they should have anyway?)

To be honest I think if something bad had actually happened you would have been more likely to have been contacted by someone by now to inform you.

I know you’re anxious but I wouldn’t call his work at this point and I would stop trying to call him if he’s not got a signal he’s going be very stressed to see loads of missed calls and messages from you.

i wouldnt, they probably wouldnt be able to track the van and tell you anyway

Do you normally hear from him?

DP and I don’t really message each other while we’re working.

If he’s normally been in contact several time then I’d be worried too.

As a one off I am sure dh would understand but I would also be working on myself feeling like this, we have what i feel is a normal level of concern for each other, your op seems over that

The odds are he's fine.
Crying all morning is a huge overreaction. Are you always this anxious?

We ring each other at least every hour through the work day and have done for years. Both phones are not contactable. This is the first time this has happened in the 4 years he has worked there.

Don't be mean, OP is clearly worried

Every hour?!?!

Why? Me and dp message a lot during the day but I cannot imagine calling each other every hour.

It's only 10.30 for God's sake. You need to relax - do you always get stressed this easily?

I think you would have heard if anything had happened, so no don’t call his work. This is a genuine question, have you really been crying all morning because you haven’t heard from your husband for a few hours? This does seem excessive level of anxiety if so.

Every hour...why?

I understand why you are worried, but you'll probably drop him right in it when you let it slip that you have phone conversations every hour. It sounds like a serious anxiety or co dependency issue.
If anything had happened his work would have told you.

That's your normal and this is OPs normal, have a little empathy

If this is the case then I’d contact them one phone can be off but both shouldn’t really
however fo they have your details for emergency? My company has my husbands. If he hadn’t made it to work they’d have contacted you by now to check whether he was ok?

I have to say I’m like you, I think I’ve done it once. My anxiety always tells me that something bad has happened

How do you both get on with your lives if you speak every hour? Genuine question.

Does it really matter ? It’s not your relationship and if that’s what they’re happy with then so it’ll be.

An accident wouldn't cause his phones to stop working. He's just in an area with no signal - and if there's no signal, the tracking app on his van won't work either so there's no point on contacting his work. Crying all morning is an overreaction to this. It's only half ten, at least wait until after lunch to start worrying.

I read it as potentially sensible advice
Why do you think suggesting someone might be suffering from a mental health issue is mean?

OP has since clarified that they normally speak hourly through the working day (which I find odd but then I've never had a job that wouldn't have been severely disrupted by that kind of thing). Before she explained how regularly she was used to hearing from him I also thought she sounded anxious to a level that would make her life very difficult and that seeking help would be a good idea.

He works alone driving around and I work from home so we like to chat all day. No don't suffer from anxiety, if you've had a regular routine for years you know if something is up, I just hope he's ok.

That's an exceptional level of anxiety OP but kindly, no, I wouldn't contact his work. If you think about it rationally, he left at 5am, that's over 5 hours ago. If anything had happened, you'd have somehow been contacted by now so he's very likely fine and just in an area with no signal. Hopefully you'll hear from him soon.

He has a driving job? Given the conditions and the concentration needed in poor weather, might he have switched off to avoid distractions?