Would I be unreasonable to call his work?

[mindisdoingovertime]

So the hubby left early this morning for work. He drives around all day attending different work calls.

It is very, very icey and the weather was awful when he left at 5am this morning!

Ive tried calling him but both his work phone and normal phone is unavailable. Ive also got one tick on WhatsApp.

He sometimes works in areas of no signal but this is very rare (think once or twice over the last year).

Would I be unreasonable to contact his work and ask them to trace his works van or is this crazy woman territory? I'm so worried, ive been crying all morning, this is not like him at all. Ive checked all the local traffic reports and there was a crash this morning close to where we live and would fit his route at the right time but it says no injuries.

What would you do? Shall I wait a bit and keep trying to ring him?

I’m most intrigued about what you find to chat about every hour of the day. My DP sometimes calls for a chat while he’s driving home and I think why can’t he wait until he gets here so I don’t have to try to have a conversation while I’m cooking dinner!

He’s probably just trying to concentrate on driving in extremely adverse weather conditions! It’s not reasonable to still expect hourly chats and read receipts while he’s driving a work vehicle around in snow and ice.

Hope you have heard from him now OP, my partner and I don't speak during work hours but we do track each other on google maps, which I know a lot of people on Mumsnet finds an awful concept. It's handy though we can check we have got places ok and know when to put the kettle on :)

This would be a good solution for OP

I would be very irritated if DH called me every hour while I am concentrating on a complicated spreadsheet.

You know the phone has got a speaker option you can continue cooking and speaking on the phone

Yes that’s what I do but cooking can be quite noisy when you’ve got pots bubbling away and I’d rather just chat over dinner rather than entertaining him on his drive home!

Phone his work to out your mind at rest.
I’m sure you’d have been contacted now if he had been in an accident. Police don’t answer the phone ( if someone has been in an accident) but don’t switch them off.
If he’s in a work van, especially if there’s phone numbers displayed on it, the police would have been there within a short time and then got details to contact you.

I just wanted to say I hope you're ok as I think some of these messages have been quite harsh. I completely understand your situation- my partner texts me when he gets to work at 6, then phones me at 8, 10 and 12 then he's home at 2. I would also be very very worried if I hadn't heard from him when expected but I agree that if he had been in an accident you probably would've been contacted much before now.
Anyway, I hope you've heard from him now and are ok x

I would always call his work if it was unusual. My husband had a call from a worried spouse last year and it turns out the chap had pulled over his van into a lay-by and had a heart attack. Trust your gut if it’s out of character

I hope this is true. Driving in bad conditions and chatting on the phone is very foolish. You really need to concentrate on everything around you.

We were driving in snow, ice and slush on Sunday and I could sense when my husband was having to concentrate hard and I needed to shut up. I imagine using a phone is even more distracting.

I’m surprised he’s not been disciplined for excessive phone use.

honestly if it was something ‘bad’ like an accident, phones would just ring out. You are being irrational on this.

Maybe he really needs to concentrate atm because it's so icy. I wouldn't want to be rang constantly while I'm trying to drive in these conditions.

Life360 app might help you rather than ringing constantly.

I'd be considering a new kettle if it needs more advance notice than hearing the car pulling up to boil in time 😁

Maybe because they love each other and enjoy talking throughout the day?! It’s a good thing id say.

My partner has the same type of job as yours op, and we also talk throughout the day. I don’t think I’d be too worried though as he goes places with no signal, but if you are that worried then just ring for your own peace of mind. But no news is good news as they say

I can't sympathise as I don't hear from my husband for weeks and his job is a lot more dangerous than a bit of ice!!

But there are employment issues around phoning this often at times when one or both are paid to work.

When people get accuse others of anxiety on here they are often being arseholes. In this case I think there is some validity. Needing to chat every hour is not normal and it must seriously disrupt your work life. When expectations are so high it also leads to situations like this.

I do wonder who started the hourly phone calls. I'm not saying that it's true in this situation, but men will sometimes insist on this if they are abusive. Just a general point rather than aimed at the op.

Also, what the heck do you talk about?

I'm assuming op's husband is now safe and well and op might not want to say.

I assume you have called his work now? Reasonable on a day of unusual cold weather to do so I think.

I love DH and enjoy talking to him. However, my employers pay me to work, not to chat to someone I enjoy talking to.

Yikes. Not sure this will put the OP’s mind at rest.

I don't think there's anything wrong with someone's wife contacting their work when concerned, unless the wife does it unduly regularly.

Hope you hear from him soon OP.

Do people on here not get that when you know someone really well you can tell what behavior is unusual for them.

So what's your point?