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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says I’m an angry person

261 replies

Nickoin · 10/12/2022 06:17

So, every morning I wake up with the kids as he apparently cannot get up. He was our last night and DS (2) was up and down as he isn’t very well, I have been up since 4:30 whilst he sleeps as he didn’t get in until 1:30. He will probably be our all night tonight too as England is on, he says I am jealous because I am not him. If I just lay in bed too who will give the kids their breakfast etc? I feel like I am the one who does everything but maybe I am not, I don’t know, maybe I just don’t like him anymore?

OP posts:
SpecialTowels · 10/12/2022 06:22

He sounds like a useless parent and partner. It's pointless having someone so useless around and actually less stressful to do it alone. Divorce and focus on your children, you'll all be much happier.

SpecialTowels · 10/12/2022 06:23

He's shown you who he is. People like this do not change.

JofraArchersFastestBall · 10/12/2022 06:24

I'd be angry too.

Original poster
Nickoin · 10/12/2022 06:25

i do wonder if it is me? He is a very chilled out person and I am the opposite. I don’t think it’s fair that I am up every morning with the kids because he apparently ‘can’t’. He says what do you want me to do get up and go down stairs and do nothing? Well no? There is loads to be doing we can’t let the kids just see to themselves!

OP posts:
ohsotired2022 · 10/12/2022 06:25

I'd be so angry too if this was my partner.
Pretty sure you would feel a lot less angry, resentful if he wasn't there.
Hate men like this.

ohsotired2022 · 10/12/2022 06:27

Maybe you would feel more chilled if you could lie in every morning and he would feel less so if the situation was reserved.
He's lazy and manipulative

Gunpowder · 10/12/2022 06:27

Of course you are cross. Not because you are an angry person but because it’s not fair and you aren’t being supported. I’m sorry OP. I hear you.

youagainomg · 10/12/2022 06:27

I'd be seriously reconsidering this relationship. He's out all weekend whilst you look after the children, nar not happening.

Original poster
Nickoin · 10/12/2022 06:27

He says I don’t show him any affection, I would honestly love too but it isn’t all one way surely?

OP posts:
SpecialTowels · 10/12/2022 06:28

Nickoin · 10/12/2022 06:25

i do wonder if it is me? He is a very chilled out person and I am the opposite. I don’t think it’s fair that I am up every morning with the kids because he apparently ‘can’t’. He says what do you want me to do get up and go down stairs and do nothing? Well no? There is loads to be doing we can’t let the kids just see to themselves!

Nope. He sounds useless. Tell him he needs to sort this out within the next month or you will end the relationship. Them stick to thaz.

SpecialTowels · 10/12/2022 06:29

Nickoin · 10/12/2022 06:27

He says I don’t show him any affection, I would honestly love too but it isn’t all one way surely?

Fucking hell. What does he expect, that you'll be massively attracted to him while he behaves like a 5 year old??

DiaDeLluvia · 10/12/2022 06:29

I couldnt be affectionate to someone I resented. And you have good reason to resent him

Original poster
Nickoin · 10/12/2022 06:29

i said to him do you really have to go put both days and then he starts making me feel guilty like I am the one who is controlling. Did he really need to go for pizza at his mates last night? DS is not well so I guess same thing will happen tonight, tomorrow morning.

OP posts:
ohsotired2022 · 10/12/2022 06:30

So he wants a lie in every morning.
Wants to do fuck all with his children.
Go out drinking late Friday and Saturday night.
Call you angry and jealous of his life.
Then moans you don't show him affection.
I'd be showing him the door.

Hooverphobe · 10/12/2022 06:30

So basically he wants sex… and a chilled out life.

it’s not you, it’s him.

KatherineJaneway · 10/12/2022 06:30

'Can't get up'? What a crock.

ReneBumsWombats · 10/12/2022 06:30

I do wonder if it is me?

Do you really?

Original poster
Nickoin · 10/12/2022 06:31

Part oF me wants to wake him up but it’s not not worth the hassle, he will come downstairs and lie on the couch and ask me what the difference is 🙄plus he will be useless all day.

OP posts:
Beanbagtrap · 10/12/2022 06:34

Wake him up and then go out.

Original poster
Nickoin · 10/12/2022 06:35

We are our today visiting Santa so I will have to prepare for that.

OP posts:
SoggyBananaLoaf · 10/12/2022 06:37

Jesus, get rid! I had one like that, and of course I was ficking angry! Own it and do something useful with it. My life is a million times better now!

Shoxfordian · 10/12/2022 06:38

He’s not contributing much to your family life is he? Does he even want to be a dad if he can’t sort the kids out or do any parenting? It shouldn’t be your job as default to do it all

devildeepbluesea · 10/12/2022 06:40

Good grief not another woman with an inadequate man.
Get rid of this piece of shit. How you could bring yourself to sleep with him at all is beyond me, he sounds deeply unattractive.

Cosycover · 10/12/2022 06:41

My first LTB.

What does he actually bring to your life?

You would be better off alone.

I'd wake him up and tell him to start packing.

Paternosta · 10/12/2022 06:43

So he's lazy and if you point it out he gaslights you into thinking you're the one in the wrong, He moans about 'affection' when you don't feel like having sex with him.
You're also not sure if you like him at all
At this point I'd seriously be thinking about divorce.

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