DH says I’m an angry person

[Nickoin]

So, every morning I wake up with the kids as he apparently cannot get up. He was our last night and DS (2) was up and down as he isn’t very well, I have been up since 4:30 whilst he sleeps as he didn’t get in until 1:30. He will probably be our all night tonight too as England is on, he says I am jealous because I am not him. If I just lay in bed too who will give the kids their breakfast etc? I feel like I am the one who does everything but maybe I am not, I don’t know, maybe I just don’t like him anymore?

How could anybody read the ops posts and think oh he probably spends hours playing with and teaching the dc, he’s probably only a self centered uncaring shit who does nothing for his children in the mornings? Carry on with your delusions.

They were all assumptions. Hence being peppered with words like "assume", "presume", "in my opinion" & "it's not that bad".

WhoTF do you think you are to dictate to OP that her home life is "not that bad"?
She's just bloody told you it is. Reached out on here to vent, agonise, make sense of it all.
You don't get to rock up & tell her otherwise.

@JadeM90 - OP works, deals with kids stuff, night wakings and mornings; cooking, washing up, laundry at least - which is a lot however you look at it.

he cares more about going out with mates than OPs exhaustion and asked her why she was incapable when she asked him to change a nappy

that’s the bottom line really… even if he cared for her elderly parents and did everything else to a high standard.

This thread just takes me back to my life before I left exh. I was shattered with a 5yr old and 2.5yr old, I hadn’t slept properly in years (two bad sleepers) and exh had never got up once in the night nor got up with the kids in the mornings.
He would also feel perfectly entitled to take himself off to another room to watch back to back football matches, play Lego! And various other hobbies.
I was literally a seething mass of resentment - I just didn’t have any feelings for him anymore, I felt like he was watching me drown and did nothing to support me.
I was also the main breadwinner working 40+ hrs a week whilst he managed to work 10-15.
I left and the difference to me was huge, I now have more time in a week to myself than I probably had in three months before, a guaranteed sleep in every week. Exh has had to step up and parent now I am not doing it for him. I am Immeasurably happier not bogged down with searing resentment (he was also regularly verbally and occasionally physically abusive too)

I agree with everyone else OP, this man-child is just taking the piss. Next time he accuses you of being jealous of his life, tell him 'Damn right I am, I'd love to lay in bed for hours, and let someone else do all the work. Then go out whenever I like, rolling in in the early hours, but I'm an adult with responsibilities, whereas you're just a child in a man's body, and no one needs one of those, so start packing!' Seriously OP, you'd be far better off without this lazy twat in your life, and you wouldn't waste you time wondering how much better things would be 'if only he'd step up and do his bit'. Get rid!

Still unconfirmed by OP. If OP can confirm he does nothing whatsoever then I would agree, but I'm yet to hear that. OP mentioned she just doesnt like him anymore and may well be concentrating on the negative so that her decision feels backed up. Just playing devils advocate here as it doesnt seem like anyone has even thought about it this way. @Nickoin its be great if you could put this to bed. I'm not sticking up for him, I'm just open to there being more to this story.

What confirmation do you need? He stays out until early hours then stays in bed while his partner is buckling from the pressure. That confirms everything. He is a selfish pig.

he Actually got up this morning with the kids!

@JadeM90 I have considered if it is because I just don’t like him, but it isn’t, I have grown to hate him because of the lack of support.

I feel more different now than I ever have and I don’t think I can ever get that back. I have never been pushed that far before but yesterday I reached my limit.

he Actually got up this morning with the kids!

Possibly a continuation of yesterday's 'Idealise' phase OP.
I sense from the rest of that update that you're not convinced by a one-off performance though 😂
You're well enough aware that the cycle of abuse will rock back to 'Devalue' & 'Discard' soon enough, yeah?

I have never been pushed that far before but yesterday I reached my limit.
He can feel that, & is doing just enough to keep you sweet OP.
Why would he want to lose his housemaid, nanny & cook?

I feel more different now than I ever have and I don’t think I can ever get that back.
Keep it to yourself OP. Cards close to your chest while you watch, wait & plan.
Once you've seen the pattern - you can't 'unsee' it.

I hope you've got a sense of support & a good deal of useful info from your thread, & will keep posting when you want to, for advice & help.

You have no idea what you’re talking about. Read what @KettrickenSmiled posted and educate yourself.

or, just stop. Take your ignorance away. This is someone in distress. Do you find what you’re doing funny?

OP - I hope you can figure out what is best for you and your kids. He may genuinely have improved; but he might do this only for a short time and then go back to old ways. Whatever it is, wishing you best of luck. Hope your mum can help too.