Posting that you're donating to charity instead of sending Christmas cards

[Animallover87]

I've noticed this over the last few years.

Just saw the first one this year pop up on my Facebook. To be fair, she included a screen shot of the charity donation. People were commenting 'well done' etc.

AIBU to be irritated by these posts and think folk are just doing it because they CBA with Christmas cards? And why the need to announce it year after year?

Absolutely!

The people posting about a pack of cards costing £2 obviously haven't bought stamps for years.

I estimate the cost of cards/postage and add at least £15 to that.

I buy charity cards and send to family and friends, most of whom aren't on Faceache. I just ignore the FB virtue signallers - they don't get a card from me and I don't acknowledge their posts.

cant be arsed sending Christmas cards to show people they know and love that they are thinking of them which is pretty twattish.

I don't send Christmas cards to show people I know and love I'm thinking of them. I ring them, FaceTime them or actually go and see them. I don't think I'm twattish to want to honour my mum.

if you want to give to charity just give to charity. There’s more honour in doing it privately.

As a Trustee of a small charity, I completely disagree with this.

When people post online about donations, it does inspire other people to donate. Win:win for the donor and the charities.

I don’t send Christmas cards, haven’t for about 10 years, I hate them. I don’t enjoy birthday cards either, total waste of money and trees.
I do donate to charity every Christmas though, I used to post on FB that I wasn’t sending them but friends and family know now I don’t send them so I don’t bother anymore.

what on earth kinds of friends do you all have that you literally are accusing them of lying? blimey.

The thing about a card is the individual nature of wishing someone a Merry Christmas.

If I got a personalised message saying something like...

'Hi cherriegarcia, hope you and MrCherriegarcia and BabyCherrie have a wonderful Christmas and New year.
We must catch up sometime at X cafe that has just opened, and you can update me on how the new job is going!
I'll be spending Christmas with the family.... etc etc'

... It wouldn't matter if that message was digital or written in a card. The point is, it's a personalised Christmas wish. That's what matters. I want to hear from my family and friends in whatever format.

If you feel cards are a waste of money, then do a charity donation and send people messages.

But they're not the same thing. The christmas card is about connection, and you're not getting that from your charity donation. It's not a substitute.

I really think it's mostly about laziness and that people don't want to reach out and connect individually.

I have calculated what I'd spend on mid range cards and stamps to be about £50. Instead of doing that (because the biggest cost isn't the charity cards it's the stamps and last I looked Royal Mail isn't a charity) I ring, FaceTime or text people instead

All those I'd send a card to I have contact with by one of the other means.

@cherriegarcia I send personalised texts / WhatsApp / Facebook messages

I wouldn't be able to sit and write that in 50 plus cards so I'd have to type each one and print it out and put it in a card

It's easier to text - yes. For me. It is and I want to honour my mum
So 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think that's lovely :)

I just don't see where charity donations fit into it all tbh and certainly not announcing it on social media.

It wouldn't occur to me to be upset about not getting a Christmas card if someone had sent me a lovely message or called me, so the whole charity thing seems a bit tokenistic to me.

It’s still a lovely way to “ remember” people and not everyone’s on SM.
It’s the fact it takes a bit of time and money and you don’t get anything back ( you don’t see people opening them) that makes a card better.
I don’t mind not getting one but I do like it when I do.

@cherriegarcia the way I look at it is. Cards and stamps would cost me £50. So I give that to a charity in memory of my mum.

I want people to remember her. I have friends now who never knew her and that makes me so sad. I want to keep her memory alive.

I don't post about her any other time except her birthday. And I miss her so so much at Christmas. She would have loved to have seen my now adult kids. I would have loved her to know my partner she died before I met him. And I just don't want her to fade away.

@ohioriver That's lovely to give a donation in your mum's memory and to post about her at Christmas time.

To me if someone I knew did this I would think it was a lovely thing, and nice to find out about that important person too. It would be neither here nor there whether it was linked to a Christmas card I might have got.

I'd see the two things quite separately and would still hope to hear from a friend. Christmas cards are kind of irrelevant really.

I'm sorry for your loss and glad you have a lovely way to remember your mum.

Thank you for your kind words @Decisionfatiguequeen and I will do that.

Thank you @cherriegarcia

This 👆🏻
Donating to charity is absolutely nothing to do with sending or not sending Christmas cards. Send them or don't send them but don't try justifying not sensing cards by saying you're donating to charity instead. Go buy some NSPCC cards!

I don't want to donate to nspcc.

If I sent cards I wouldn't give that money to charity.

I do this particular donation specifically in memory of my mum. I post about it to keep her memory alive. She's fading away. Every year she's further away from everything that has happened and I find it incredibly difficult.

I just don't see where charity donations fit into it all tbh and certainly not announcing it on social media.

I guess it's :

I don't want to do cards for [X] reason
Instead of pocketing the saved money I will donate it
I will let people know so they don't expect a card and I can raise awareness of the charity/cause

That's the best I can do. I don't want praise or thanks, I just want a hassle free existence.

Why relate the two things then, it makes zero sense.

I thought I'd explained it quite well further up. My bad.

How passive aggressive of you. Apologies for not reading every single post ‘my bad’ It cost me a lot to type that phrase so I have my punishment for not reading your explanation.

So many angry people

It's always a good idea to read the whole thread, and if you had you'd see I'm far from the only one who'd made the same point, and that particular post you quoted was in response to another further back.

I'm sorry if my response has triggered you in some way, but if it makes you feel better I don't particularly like being accused of not making sense.

Thanks for the patronising 😉 I’m under no obligation to read every single post and it’s a bit arrogant of you to think that your explanation would change my mind any way, I don’t think the act makes sense no, I’m not accusing you personally of anything. I’m not ‘triggered’ if anything I apologise for upsetting you.

I didn't say you were 'obliged' to read all the posts, I said it's 'helpful' to do so.

Are we good?