Posting that you're donating to charity instead of sending Christmas cards

[Animallover87]

I've noticed this over the last few years.

Just saw the first one this year pop up on my Facebook. To be fair, she included a screen shot of the charity donation. People were commenting 'well done' etc.

AIBU to be irritated by these posts and think folk are just doing it because they CBA with Christmas cards? And why the need to announce it year after year?

I put that at the start - cuts out any weirdness if I don't give card out locally or in the post.

I put it on FB and wish everyone a merry Christmas as I don't like Christmas cards cluttering the place up. Hopefully it puts people off sending them to me as it's really wasteful. Each to their own but it's a bit harsh to call us twats - Merry Christmas 😊

I’d be more impressed if most of the people sending us Christmas cards actually had a conversation with us instead of sending a waste of card that says Happy Christmas and a New Year from xyz. If you don’t even talk to us, why send a card? If you only think of us once a year, and that’s all you can say, I don’t want a card.

I’ll take text messages and a Skype call instead.

I don’t care if people don’t want to send Christmas cards, but I hate e cards and I can’t stand people who have to tell you they have donated to charity instead. Lots of people donate to charity this time of year without having to brag about it.

The charity bit gets me too. Just be honest - CBA to write cards, have a good Christmas!

But we are tight gets, we take note of who sends us a card, if you didn't then I won't be sending you one next year!

I quite like getting cards but I grudge the postage costs.

Sending cards is a pain in the arse unless you have hours to spend writing them and include the shit 'look what we've been doing' round robin that no one wants.

I'd rather someone said they were donating to a local charity than sending me a card, good for them!

I hate it when people do shit like that. I don't bloody want someone to donate to a charity on my behalf: what if it's to a charity I don't agree with?

Its not really on your behalf

Your card equivalent is probably 50p. Maybe £1 if they posted it.

My guess is it’s so people don’t get offended if they don’t receive a card in return.

I don't bother sending Christmas cards any more, I've gradually reduced how many we send and now all our more elderly grandparents and great aunts have died we don't really send any now.

This year so far we've had 4 - so very few compared to the past. Again how many we receive has also reduced massively.

Most people I know don't send physical cards anymore. Christmas messages are sent via text or social media, or given verbally.

We do also donate to charities at this time of year particularly, but we don't post on social media about any of it.

This 👆

I've made this point for years, about charity donation gifts. Yet hardly anyone seems to recognise that the giver has sacrificed absolutely nothing on the charity's behalf. In fact they've made their life considerably easier while not spending a penny extra.
The person who's sacrificed their gift is the recipient, who's had no choice in it whatever.

I'd love to be brave enough to say "Oh, so I've got no present this year? You've given it to someone else? Well cheers for that 😕"

I disagree. There are so many threads on AIBU about fall outs after someone getting really offended they've not received a card, and think the other person has forgotten about them or snubbed them etc. I've seen one today with someone upset they never received a 'congrats on your new baby' card from a relative.

Its an easy way of communicating en masse that you've not left someone out and it's not personal, you're just opting out of the tradition, and avoids this weird card expectation that British people seem to have.

Exactly. Do people really expect others to call and inform people individually that they’re not doing Christmas cards and explaining the reason. Some would still come on here and moan about it and call them lazy, grinches, etc..

I would internally side-eye someone if they vented to me that they fell out with someone because the person chose to donate their own money to charity instead of sending said person a Christmas card.

I donate in the memory of my husband and parents. I want to remember them publicly. I don't want cards. I don't want to send cards but I do want to raise the profile of various charities that made a difference to our lives at a time when it mattered so much.
If sending that link just encourages one person to donate to a similar charity then you can roll your eyes all you like. I couldn't give a toss what you think. One of my relatives died of a cancer I'd never heard of and another died of a cancer that gets very little funding. Pre covid I did a fair amount in other ways to help fund raise, street collections, organised events but all that stopped and therefore so did the income for the charity. Friends and family used to attend my events or start off my collection tin.
Call it what you like. You write your cards to all at number 15 from all at number 12. And I will post my link. I will also visit my elderly relatives and spend time with them. If I think writing a card as well would be something they'd like then I'll do that.

I agree people who do this :

are virtue signalling

cant be arsed sending Christmas cards to show people they know and love that they are thinking of them which is pretty twattish.

so full of bah humbug that they disguise as being charitable to make themselves feel better.

a pack of cards costs a pound or 2 so why broadcast that you are donating a pound to charity. Nobody posts in July that they put £2 in the Alzheimer’s bucket instead of buying candyfloss at the fairground

cards can be hand delivered or sent as e-card so no reason why you can’t do both

if you want to give to charity just give to charity. There’s more honour in doing it privately.

Please don't be put off by this thread - anyone mocking and eye rolling about a charity donation in memory of a loved on (or any other good cause) are not worth bothering about and you do not have to justify yourself to them. Not wanting to send or being able to face sending Christmas cards is very common after a beareavement - do what feels right for you and the memory of your loved ones.

Wow, you're easily annoyed. Christmas cards are a load of nonsense. I like hearing which charities people have donated to - way more interesting than getting a card.

YANBU SIL always does this.

1. They can bloody well afford to donate to charity regardless.
2. They never sent us cards in the first place!

Send cards, don’t send cards. Entirely a personal choice.

donate to charity or not. Again, a personal choice.

there is no reason to link the two or make any announcements about your choices.

YABU.

I do this and share it so people don't think I've not bothered sending a card to them.

I donate to a local Cancer charity that gave amazing support to my father and to BHF as my mum had an MI and my dad had open heart surgery. I feel it raises awareness and gives thanks to them.

IDGAF if it pisses you off.

Plus paper cards are environmentally unfriendly nowadays.

But you haven't bothered sending them a card! Which is fine, but the charity donation is a separate choice. The two aren't linked!

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone here when I say my charity donation exceeds the cost of a pack of cards by the way. I mean, ffs.

Yes, I made a conscious choice not to send a card that will just get binned after Christmas and gather dust until then.
I give monthly to charity, but at Christmas I give extra and spread awareness.

The post is so no one gets offended they won't receive one.

However it seems some people get offended regardless. IDGAF.

Christmas cards are a nice gesture to send a Christmas message to someone you care about.

A donation to a charity, whilst a lovely thing to do, isn't really a substitute for this.

If you put a generic post on social media to say you've donated to a charity instead of sending Christmas cards, that makes the whole thing very materialistic and takes any warmth out of it.

The thing I like about a Christmas card is that you've written a personal message to me, wishing me a Merry Christmas. Not that you've spend 20p on it. I couldn't care less about that!

It's just not the same thing and it doesn't make sense.