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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Posting that you're donating to charity instead of sending Christmas cards

134 replies

Animallover87 · 09/12/2022 17:24

I've noticed this over the last few years.

Just saw the first one this year pop up on my Facebook. To be fair, she included a screen shot of the charity donation. People were commenting 'well done' etc.

AIBU to be irritated by these posts and think folk are just doing it because they CBA with Christmas cards? And why the need to announce it year after year?

OP posts:
illiterato · 09/12/2022 17:25

Yeah, I agree. Just own not doing it. No one really cares or expects them. I am a MN freak as I still send them and like getting them, but I don’t keep tabs/ score.

Housepricerocket · 09/12/2022 17:25

Can’t stand people who do this (or e-cards)

It’s mental junk rather than physical junk and doesn’t even look pretty on my mantlepiece.

Livinginanotherworld · 09/12/2022 17:27

Just do it if that’s what you want, no need to make a bloody announcement. Or here’s a thing, maybe do both ? Why is it either or ?

carefulcalculator · 09/12/2022 17:28

Yeah, YABU. It doesn't harm you, it benefits the charity, and if you can't cope with tiny updates like this you need to get off social media.

ComfortablyDazed · 09/12/2022 17:29

Agree, OP.

No need to announce it. Or, you could even do both. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AdelineLou · 09/12/2022 17:30

A good way to raise the profile of a charity though and hope your friends join in and donate.

I hate the clutter and waste caused by Christmas cards, but would likely turn off comments on my FB if I did a charity card donation. I wouldn't want the ‘well dones’.

LadyWithLapdog · 09/12/2022 17:31

Xmas cards are wasteful. I think their time has passed.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/12/2022 17:31

Absolute wankery. Either send cards or don’t, I couldn’t care less what you do with your spare cash. YANBU.

OneFrenchEgg · 09/12/2022 17:31

Every year this thread!

I do this and share so no one thinks I've left them off the Christmas card list. I also like to raise awareness of smaller charities that have incredible purposes.

SweetSakura · 09/12/2022 17:32

It's a bit tedious, I mean I donate to charity all year round. And still send (charity) cards to people I know will really appreciate them (elderly people, those living alone, etc).

However, some of the people I have seen posting about this it is for a charity that they really care about/that has made a real difference to their lives. I can't get too grumpy about those posts

ChrisPriss · 09/12/2022 17:34

I love sending Christmas cards and receiving them from friends who I only touch base with at Christmas. Anyone who says that they aren't sending them doesn't get mine.
Which reminds me, one friend announced on Facebook that she was not sending cards but making a sizeable donation to charity, although she hoped her friends would still send cards to her!
I didn't.

Adultchildofelderlyparents · 09/12/2022 17:35

I love sending and receiving Christmas cards. I have no problem if someone wants to donate to charity instead of sending me one. However, I would still appreciate a phone call or text message or email from that person wishing me merry Christmas and telling me they've made a charity donation. To not send cards and also not actually contact people instead is just lazy! Not everyone is on facebook.

ColdHandsHotHead · 09/12/2022 17:35

carefulcalculator · 09/12/2022 17:28

Yeah, YABU. It doesn't harm you, it benefits the charity, and if you can't cope with tiny updates like this you need to get off social media.

And if you can't cope with someone - by chance - criticising something you do, without telling them to get off social media, you're the one with the problem.

Tinkerbyebye · 09/12/2022 17:36

To me it’s being lazy. You can’t even be bothered to write a card to someone,
I buy from a charity, I write a small note in each and send

lots of elderly family members out there who are lonely, lots of friends who know you can be bothered to spend time sending a card because they mean something to you

cards can be recycled so it’s not wasteful

Bingobangodrinkacanoftango · 09/12/2022 17:37

I dunno, some people get pissy about not getting a card and this gives a “reason” why- and it benefits a charity. I loathe Christmas cards with a passion, a waste of time and trees in my opinion. 🙈

it’s a bit self serving (and probably does corn from a place of not wanting to write and send lots of cards) but equally I can see why a quick post shuts up some of those who might take not getting a card personally. It’s harder to be an arse when it’s literally a charity donation.

FusionChefGeoff · 09/12/2022 17:37

There's so many zillions of pointless things people spend money on - why have Christmas cards been singled out like this?!

I love receiving cards (sent mine last week) and I'm very sad we've only had 2 so far this year

carefulcalculator · 09/12/2022 17:37

ColdHandsHotHead · 09/12/2022 17:35

And if you can't cope with someone - by chance - criticising something you do, without telling them to get off social media, you're the one with the problem.

I don't do this myself, I send a small number of cards, but I don't mind others doing it.

I think if you get that upset about non-issues, social media is just bad for blood pressures.

greenjojocat · 09/12/2022 17:38

I do it to raise money for a charity that means a lot to us, i don't care if some people think I'm attention grabbing if some others donate a bit of money 🤷🏻‍♀️

KimberleyClark · 09/12/2022 17:38

ChrisPriss · 09/12/2022 17:34

I love sending Christmas cards and receiving them from friends who I only touch base with at Christmas. Anyone who says that they aren't sending them doesn't get mine.
Which reminds me, one friend announced on Facebook that she was not sending cards but making a sizeable donation to charity, although she hoped her friends would still send cards to her!
I didn't.

I agree. I have old friends who are not on social media and exchanging Christmas cards and letters is how we keep in touch.

napody · 09/12/2022 17:39

To me, it's the wrong way round.
You should say 'don't worry about sending me a card, put the cost of the stamp to charity'.
Same with those 'I've sponsored you a donkey instead of getting you a present'- so the giver has the satisfaction of giving to charity. It should be 'don't buy for ME, give it to charity' if you actually want to be generous.

DailyMailReporterTellMeAllYourSecrets · 09/12/2022 17:39

I cringe for people who do this. I also refuse to ‘like’ posts where people felt ‘blessed’ to be able to put one can of baked beans in the food bank bin. DH and I put about a tenners worth of food in every month but have never once told anyone IRL. We don’t do it for praise 🤷‍♀️

RaraRachael · 09/12/2022 17:40

People who do this immediately get scored off my card list, so it saves me money.

I do find it a bit nauseating and often wonder if they do actually make a donation.

Runnerduck34 · 09/12/2022 17:44

Totally agree.
It's been a thing for a few years now and I noticed within my friends and family it was those that never actually sent Xmas cards that were the first to latch onto it. Seriously doubt they do actually make a donation to charity!!
People don't send Xmas cards because they cba, which is fine but no need to dress it up as anything else.
If you want to send cards do it, if you want to make a charity donation then do it. If you want to do both then do it. But no need to make a virtual signalling public announcement on sm.
I actually love receiving cards, its a little bit of joy dropping through my letterbox rather than the usual junk mail and bills. So I will continue to send them but think I might be becoming a dinosaur!

Whatnext1234 · 09/12/2022 17:49

I don’t understand why either. Send cards and do a charity donation. Or just don’t send cards. No one needs to know the £2.50 you usually spend on cards is going to charity (or not)

AlwaysGinPlease · 09/12/2022 17:51

It's a pet hate for me too. Virtue signaling twats. I do both. Also I know most people won't even donate. So annoying.