to be annoyed that a stranger lined my children up and took their picture in the park without asking permission?

[IlanaK]

In Regent's park today with a friend. Three boys all way ahea dof us on the path scootering. A group of tourist men lined them up with the stream and trees as backdrop and took their phot before we could get to them.

They got a right telling of from me though.

Was I being unreasonable?

For the love of God, stuffitall. What's on the front of a bag of nappies? A jar of Cow & Gate? Who stars in a baby shampoo advert?

Babies and toddlers in nappies, that's who. Sometimes they're butt naked. I'm sorry, but one bad childhood experience, (and many of us can cite them), should not be enough to turn you into a misguided puritan on the subject.

What do you want a toddler to wear for a photograph? A dinner jacket?

The paedophiles really have won, haven't they?

We've let them ruin any chance of normal relationships between adults and children.

That, ironically, has led to greater danger for children now that adults are scared to be friendly and helpful lest their intentions be misinterpreted.

Not in my world they haven't janni - am just glad that there's some sanity left on MN....

thanks desi - can always count on you

Don't you dare call me a misguided puritan.

Am I the wierdo for not wanting strangers to take naked pictures of my children?

I don't fucking think so.

Thanks Stuffitall. At least you're consistant. When I do it, I ask if the parents are nearby if not, I guess I pick up on the body language and the atmosphere. I still think that in 99.99% of cases, there is absolutely nothing sinister in strangers taking pictures of children in public places, and it saddens me that we should assume otherwise.

Too true.

It's very, very said that parents feel this way. And you are in no way equipping them from the rather more real perils of the internet.

Stuffitall, I'll do what I like, love. I profoundly disagree with your take on life. You chose to share it with me .. that's your call.

but stuffitall you are coming across like that to me as well, sorry.

I think it is weird to be so scared of strangers, as paeds are usually close friends and family members aren't they.

I am doing nobody any harm and I'm not telling you what to do with your kids. I've explained clearly and carefully how I'm bringing up my children and there's nothing wierd or puritan or infinitely harmful about it.

What's necessary is that they learn to take risks, walk alone, look after themselves. They are allowed to do all that stuff.

What's not necessary is having their pictures taken by strangers. And that makes me a puritan, to not allow it?

Stupid argument. Was just warned by someone how cross you can get on mnet and didn't believe it. But the ignorance!

i don't think its peadophiles actually.

its more the pitchfork brigade whose ignorance and daily mail subscription have infected teh rest of society.

I have worked with peadophiles and their "victims" so i know better than most the dangers.

but i am not at all bothered by a man chatting with my child in a park, by another dad playing in the swimming pool, by my children running around the garden naked.

i am there during all these occasions and know that absolutly NO HARM can come to them as i am there.

obvioulsy i am more aware of the facts and indeed the ways in which predatory peadophiles befriend children so i am more accute to those signs.

there is very little danger from a stranger saying hi whilst in the street.

God, this takes me back! DD2 must've been about 3/4, and we were walking around Christchurch, and lo and behold a group of Japanes tourists started taking photos of her enmasse. I thought at the time it was quite innocent, and dd was posing like mad.

However, a stranger, taking photos of a few, without the parent present, is a completely different ball game ...

but I guarantee you that your child has his/ her photo taken many, many times without your permission - there's NOTHING you can do about it!

Children's parties

Friend's webpages (when they're a bit older maybe, sorry I don't know how old yours are)

while doing the 'towel' dance on the beach - you see mine just stripped naked without a care in the world, they're probably on loads of people's photos all over the world - their faces may even have been used on images I would detest but I'm never going to know about it if they have (unlikely) and nor will they - they've not been abused and they're not hurting...

In Germany, nakedness is embraced and valued and people can see the difference between someone looking at a naked child and sexual abuse thank god!

Just to clarify something. Those images on those links can't be downloaded, or else are at such a low resolution that any attempt to use them for nefarious purposes would be unsucccessful. They are also not linked to any particular child's details, and I think they are safe to be up there.

That's also why I wouldn't mind my child being photographed in a park as there is nothing to link the actual person to the photograph.

Neighbours putting pictures with names and addresses is more of a potential problem, IMO, but I'm not sure how much I'd stress about it.

Well Ilanak I think u got ur answers, at the end of the day you can only do what u feel is right for u and u were obviously not happy with it. Neither would I have been.
Unfortunatley this thread is turning into a bit of a witch hunt against a certain lady who has the right to protect her children how ever she feels. So on that note i'll leave as I left bullying in the yard when I was in school.

Oops, that was in reply to the photography links - I missed the whole chunk of conversation on the next page...

yes that's true RA - my brother's photos can't be copied either but there are plenty of images out there which can be. Not sure of digi resolutions etc admittedly but

why would anyone bother going out looking for random kids if that can be found on google?

Oh, don't be silly, kel78. Nobody is being bullied. If you feel that way, this isn't the forum for you.

oh dear. if you think this is bullying please don't step onto a BF v FF thread!

Kel78 - were you born in 1978? I'm just wondering whether age has anything to do with how we feel on these issues? I was born in '65 and enjoyed a very free childhood, whereas I guess those born in the late 70s onwards may actually have no personal experience of being out and about on their own as a young child.
This, coupled with media hysteria about dangers to children would understandably make them more frightened for their children's safety.

I'm not cross, not remotely.....

a witch hunt???? FFS

We are having (in the words of Mrs Merton) a 'heated debate' and I think most people come here to partake in that rather than the hearts and flowers of other parenting sites.

I was born in 74 and had a very care free latchkey type childhood so I would have thought it be a bit later before paranoia set in. Also the number of child abductions hasn't actually increased since then (I think).

Dittany - because they're getting off on the fact that they have violated that particular person.....it's completely different IMO.

but that's not the issue I'm arguing to be honest. I'm just pointing out that images are available to be 'cut and pasted' anyway.

Anyway I have bigger issues than this thread now as DP has just got back from hospital so I need to administer beer and fags and sympathy in rather large doses.

Enjoy your debate

Found this dodgy image of a naked child - think it's easily reproduced....
bestpriceart.com/painting/?pid=25977