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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I should have to look after her sick child?

341 replies

Crunchycooki · 07/12/2022 18:08

My friend asked if I could pick her child up from nursery as she’s working a long shift. I agreed. Got to the nursery today and they told me her mum dropped her off saying she is sick, so if they need to call they can call her. They tried calling all day and no answer from her even though I’ve spoken to her today.

Shes now at my house, very chesty, she’s been sick, she’s falling asleep and says her tummy hurts. I have a younger child and we have just gotten over a horrible week of illness. Mum doesn’t finish work until 9 tonight despite my texts to say she needs to pick her up as she’s not well she apparently can’t leave 😡

OP posts:
spare123 · 07/12/2022 18:09

That's awful. I'm amazed the nursery agreed to take her in the morning.

MoreSleepPleasee · 07/12/2022 18:09

Do you drive? Take that child to her mums work she might need to see a doctor.

MoreSleepPleasee · 07/12/2022 18:10

Absolutely shocking. That is so neglectful.

BakedTattie · 07/12/2022 18:10

What an arsehole mum. That poor child.

DenholmElliot11 · 07/12/2022 18:11

Did you also ring the childs dad to come and get them?

OlympicProcrastinator · 07/12/2022 18:13

Do you drive? Take that child to her mums work she might need to see a doctor

This is exactly what I’d do. I’d be taking that child straight to her mother, I’d drag that bitch out of her work, tell her to attend to her poor child and I’d never speak to her again. Absolute arsehole of the highest order, poor kid.

BecauseICan22 · 07/12/2022 18:13

Crunchycooki · 07/12/2022 18:08

My friend asked if I could pick her child up from nursery as she’s working a long shift. I agreed. Got to the nursery today and they told me her mum dropped her off saying she is sick, so if they need to call they can call her. They tried calling all day and no answer from her even though I’ve spoken to her today.

Shes now at my house, very chesty, she’s been sick, she’s falling asleep and says her tummy hurts. I have a younger child and we have just gotten over a horrible week of illness. Mum doesn’t finish work until 9 tonight despite my texts to say she needs to pick her up as she’s not well she apparently can’t leave 😡

That poor child. And poor you!

Your 'friend' has put you in an impossible situation. Keep your DC separate from your friends DC and do your best. Her Mum couldn't even be bothered to pick her up!

You're a good person, remember your reasoning. Make sure you tell your friend exactly how you feel and also look out for Strep A symptoms.

Crunchycooki · 07/12/2022 18:17

I think they may have taken her as a wait and see situation? I’m not sure but they said she had been sick all day, which is sad and they said they tried to get through the day with her.

She obviously just wants her mum, I don’t want the whole household to get sick and I have 3 hours of this

OP posts:
icanwearwhatiwant · 07/12/2022 18:17

Whilst I do think this is a massive shame for you and for the child. I think some of the replies are a bit harsh towards the mum. She may well be desperate rather than a "bitch" maybe faced with disciplinary or losing her job over it? Some bosses are not at all sympathetic about this sort of thing.
Also, no dad? Has he been asked to come and get her at all?

Crunchycooki · 07/12/2022 18:18

Exactly I’ve been worried about strep A. As I’m sure most people have been. Her work is a good 50 minute drive away. I’m not even precisely sure where it is…

OP posts:
Crunchycooki · 07/12/2022 18:20

No dad.
And I get it I really do, she doesn’t have much support so sometimes needs must. I have been in this position just praying my child wasn’t sick so I could go to work but 9/10 times I would have to take the day off.
I’m also annoyed she never told me she was sick as she knows I wouldn’t pick her up

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 07/12/2022 18:22

She's an absolute dickhead with no regard for anyone else. What a nasty person.

Do you have a DH or DP?

Is he able to look after your children in one part of the house and you look after hers in another part to minimise contact?

ZekeZeke · 07/12/2022 18:26

She should have been honest with you.
She should have answered her phone.
She has put your family ar risk.
She is clearly not a friend.

Sadbeigechildren · 07/12/2022 18:28

Awful behaviour.

OnlyFannys · 07/12/2022 18:30

Shocking behaviour, especially with all the strep a concerns. I would be desperate to watch mine like a hawk while sick atm

Ittybittytittycomittee · 07/12/2022 18:36

Crunchycooki · 07/12/2022 18:08

My friend asked if I could pick her child up from nursery as she’s working a long shift. I agreed. Got to the nursery today and they told me her mum dropped her off saying she is sick, so if they need to call they can call her. They tried calling all day and no answer from her even though I’ve spoken to her today.

Shes now at my house, very chesty, she’s been sick, she’s falling asleep and says her tummy hurts. I have a younger child and we have just gotten over a horrible week of illness. Mum doesn’t finish work until 9 tonight despite my texts to say she needs to pick her up as she’s not well she apparently can’t leave 😡

I hate those types of mums that will blatantly send their kids to nursery/school/play group knowing they are poorly or within 48 hours of them being sick. We're all busy but why should we the have the knock on from their blatant selfishness!

Your friend also doesn't sound like much of a friend.

buckeejit · 07/12/2022 18:36

That's terrible behaviour. You'll never trust her again.

Iamnotthe1 · 07/12/2022 18:38

She has deliberately lied to the nursery, telling them to call despite knowing she was going to ignore the phone.
She has deliberately deceived you, knowing that you'd take her sick child, deal with her, and she could make excuses as to why she can't come pick her up.

She isn't a friend. A friend would have been honest and allowed you to make the decision to help her. She is a user and has shown a lack of care and respect for you.

billy1966 · 07/12/2022 18:45

So now you know the value of your friendship, a shift at work.

Unbelievably dishonest.

Keep her away from your children if possible.

Poor child.

I wouldn't answer the phone to her again.

She is not a friend you need.

Wolfiefan · 07/12/2022 18:52

Well you will never ever agree to collect this child again will you? Maybe this sort of behaviour is one reason she lacks a support network.
Plus imagine it was an emergency and she simply didn’t answer the phone. Unacceptable.

Bookaholic73 · 07/12/2022 18:54

That’s a really shitty thing for your ‘friend’ to do. I wouldn’t be doing her any more favours.

IncompleteSenten · 07/12/2022 18:54

I think you should tell her to never ask you again because of the sneaky way she's done this.

Crunchycooki · 07/12/2022 18:56

im home alone with them at the moment, it sounds bad but I just cringe at her touching toys, I’ve put the tv on for her and she’s lying on the sofa. She’s in and out of sleep poor mite. I don’t know if she can have calpol, what if she’s sick again?
I’m going to run a bath for my little one whilst she’s asleep and I’ve tried to antibac what I can.

As far as her mum, i’m really disappointed. She would of seen those calls from the nursery as she had text me. I’ve spoken to her and told her she was sick

OP posts:
Georgyporky · 07/12/2022 18:56

Do you know her employer's 'phone no?

If so, call them & demand they send her home now.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 07/12/2022 18:57

Poor little duck. Can you call her work? Ask someone to get her as her child is sick? My dp could only ever come home if I called through to the mainline as he wasn't allowed his phone on him