To think I should have to look after her sick child?

[Crunchycooki]

My friend asked if I could pick her child up from nursery as she’s working a long shift. I agreed. Got to the nursery today and they told me her mum dropped her off saying she is sick, so if they need to call they can call her. They tried calling all day and no answer from her even though I’ve spoken to her today.

Shes now at my house, very chesty, she’s been sick, she’s falling asleep and says her tummy hurts. I have a younger child and we have just gotten over a horrible week of illness. Mum doesn’t finish work until 9 tonight despite my texts to say she needs to pick her up as she’s not well she apparently can’t leave 😡

Some of you lot need to wind your necks in with your unhelpful middle class opinions. That poor mum might be close to losing her job and need it to keep a roof over her kids head. She’s hardly living la vida loca if she has to work a twelve hour shift.. That is not going to be an easy job whatever it is. It’s all easy to judge when you’re sitting pretty with your DH and middle class office job

She's cut off her nose to spite her face now, when she next needs childcarei I'd be less likely to agree if I was the op. Not fair on the poor sick child 😔

😂

so was the plan for you to pick her up.and keep her until.9 pm anyway?

even that is expecting way too much even if the little mite was well.

What the fuck has "class" got to do with answering / returning a phone call from your child's nursery?

Were you always meant to have her until 9pm today? Otherwise who was meant to be picking her up?

Poor child

she wants cuddles and a sofa bed and mummy when poorly

Very naughty of your friend to ignore nursery’s calls - they may give her notice now

to not tell you poorly is wrong

I assume she doesn’t work Thursdays as she won’t have you or childcare via nursery tomorrow

What does she normally do for childcare on the nights she’s working until 9pm and then has to travel 50mins home?

Yes
.@Crunchycooki was happy to have her till 9 but assumed was healthy

How appalling of the child’s mother to not warn you of her kid being sick. Really not fair on you. I’d say to her that it was the last time I’d be helping her out. She cares nothing for the health of your family or the other kids at the childcare or her own child’s well-being. It sounds like the child should be at home being looked after or seeing a doctor. She should answer the childminder calls or have a system where someone else takes the calls -(thinking of a job where you can’t answer the phone right away).

I can't say what I would do as I would get flamed but let's just say I would shock the mother into thinking it was the worst possible scenario, you always answer your phone when your children are involved.

She's selfish, neglectful and dishonest. I wouldn't be speaking to her after this - she knew the child was sick and still asked OP to mind her even though they've just gotten over illness - never mind sending her to nursery while ill also. Ignoring calls from the nursery?? I mean the poor child could have been very very poorly and taken a turn since this morning but this bint chose to ignore them. A "ok thanks for letting me know I'll try to collect her soon/send someone for her" wouldn't have taken much. Neither would telling OP she was ill and yes she can have Calpol or no if you don't want another sick house I understand.

Part of parenting is putting the kid first - even when they're sick!!!! She must have a heart of stone to do that to her child. I don't think I could ever see her the same way again.

Has she called you back?!

Dear Christ

So who was going to pick up the girl if nursery was closing and she’s working until 9?

I wouldn't agree to any more childcare after this.

Wow. Some people on here are so full of judgement! And calling this woman a bitch etc…. Not cool! Texting social services (can you text them..?), raising safeguarding with the school (what school..?).

Also not cool to drop sick child at nursery and say she would be contactable. TBH we don’t know what job she does, whether vulnerable people are relying on her, how close she is to being fired for precious absence, how poorly the child was when she dropped her off, whether she is desperate and struggling financially….. we just don’t know. And there’s a lot of judgement from people who also don’t know.

It doesn’t look good. She’s dropped off a sick child and hasn’t been contactable. We don’t know why. She has put her friend in a difficult position. I would also be quite pissed off. But again, we don’t know the circumstances. Maybe she is suffering and felt this was her only option. Maybe she’s on her knees. Maybe she is wracked with guilt. Or maybe she’ll breeze in, pick up her daughter without so much as an apology.

And until we know shouldn’t we be saying yes this is not good and yes the OP has every right to be upset. And that’s it. We don’t need to say more than that. We don’t need to call this woman unpleasant names or say she needs reporting to social services…. Because we don’t know anything about her.

Is someone at home with the other child/children?

No excuse to ignore calls from the nursery and to just leave her sick child with the op.

She will have lost all her chances with the op and potentially nursery too as a result, so in the long run behaving like this won't help matters.

She well and truly pissed in her own chips here hasn’t she. You sound like an amazing friend, having her DD till 9pm is very accommodating of you. You won’t do that again will you.

Poor little thing. Feel so sorry for her.

I know it’s really tempting to judge the Mum harshly, but OP hasn’t told us, and may not know herself, all the circumstances. She may be one step away from losing her job.

Our society is really shitty at the moment, and people’s employment rights have been so eroded. Also we have terrible childcare provision compared to other countries.

I’ve been home loads with sick kids recently but I’m really lucky, I can work from home, plus mine are older. When they were very little and I was self employed I was lucky enough that I could call on grandparents, and I was with my exh then. A single parent with no grandparent option, inflexible employer, low wage and low job security. This is going to happen more and more.

But at the same time YANBU OP and I can sympathise with your frustration!

Make sure to inform nursery tomorrow. They will have a record of mums previous neglect and can add it to their file.

Poor child.

YANBU

Poor child

I'd have stood there and told the nursery to message her that she had to pick up her own sick child as you'd refused to take her as she was clearly sick and the mum clearly knew. REmind her social services will be called if she's not there before closing time and they won't be accepting her back tomorrow.

What a shitty thing to do to the child ... and you.

she shouldnt have sent in her child at all to nusery sorry if shes got problems at work but thats really selfish especially right now with strp a going round