To stop taking our dog to see his ex-owner?

[DatingAdvice72]

So 14 months ago I took on a dog whose owner was moving into a care home. It was a social media plea from her children and it came with the stipulation that they would like the dog to visit their mum regularly etc which was fine (we didn’t sign a contract or anything, more of a verbal agreement and the dog’s microchip is now legally signed over to me). I live around 40-45 minutes away and have been visiting every month since.

My circumstances have now changed though, new jobs and working days and hours and also a lot of illness with my child requiring hospital investigations etc and I’m now struggling to commit to that visit because it usually takes up at least half a day. I’ve said I can try and visit every 6-8 weeks instead so she doesn’t stop seeing the dog completely but her family have started getting really funny over it, although I don’t think they can legally do anything about it?

AIBU? WWYD?

I* would personally give some grace for an unwell child*

How understanding of you

Well it's more grace than most posters are showing the family, who are dealing with someone backing out of an agreement and letting down their elderly and vulnerable mother.

Have you got anyone who could take the dog to see her? Husband or family member? I feel sorry for you and the lady. Her kids seem like they want the moon on a stick without lifting a finger. That doesn’t change how sad it is for that lady though, which is why I’d try to ask for someone to help you. Other than her useless kids. It’s almost certain the dog will remember and like to smell her. I sometimes take my dog to see the breeder from four years ago. He absolutely adores her.

letting down their elderly and vulnerable mother
but they cant be bothered to visit her themselves, surely they are the ones letting her down by tricking a stranger into caring for her?

Unless I'm missing something we don't know the details of their circumstances or relationship with their mother, only speculation. And again, unless I missed an update, no one was tricked? Didn't the OP enter into the agreement informed and willing? I know her circumstances have changed but was she tricked?

Rehome the dog so it can visit its original owner every four weeks instead of every eight weeks?!?
How many times would those who agree with this want that to happen?

This thread is completely mad!

YANBU. i’m sure your visits are the highlight of her month, but i’d also guess that any routine visit from a friendly dog would be a suitable substitute. her family should arrange something with a local family; one that regularly visits another resident and happens to have a dog. it shouldn’t be that difficult.

I think people feel she was tricked, because the family expect her to visit every four weeks, but can’t be bothered to visit themselves, or make arrangements to facilitate the dog visit. Ie. Collect the dog or take the relative to op’s house.

Do they not visit they're mother occasionally? Surely they can do some of the visits then. Or at least ask family friends who still live in the area to do some.

You think she should tell an elderly lady who has been forced to give up her much lives dog & move into a care home to grow up?

As for your last comment that's just being cruel.

Five months laterrrr....

(zombie)

@0possum

what? She wants to see HER dog that she was forced into giving up.

she'd probably enjoy a visit from someone else & a dog, sure, but it's not a replacement for seeing her dog.

yes it's now technically the OP's dog, but it doesn't make it any less the old lady's dog that she loves.

@AwaaFaeHom

oops sorry, I can't get used to the 'similar threads' not being active threads!! It seems bloody stupid to me!!

anyway, now that I've revived the thread 🙄🙄

@DatingAdvice72

how is your DC doing? How have things been with the dog & visiting??

sorry again everyone, I'll avoid threads in the 'similar threads' bit!!!!

I don’t think your being unreasonable Completely understand where you’re coming from, l also have a dog.If one of my elderly relatives, dog, needed to be re-homed would just be so grateful, he/she is being well cared for.That’s too much to expect, someone, a stranger, to give up a day every month, also having to pay to travel there and back.
If the family can’t take into consideration, circumstances have changed and be more flexible, where it could be every couple of months maybe, or a family member collects the dog from yours, then that’s their problem, not your.

Yes, it's sad for the lady, but why are you ignoring the sick child in this situation?

Zombie-ish thread.

Sorry I voted unreasonable until I saw the family couldn’t be arsed to do it themselves. Youve gone above and beyond so far really.

I really want to click YANBU, because you aren't. But I'm thinking of that poor old dear missing their dog. Try and take the dog as often as you reasonably can.

Zombie thread

(op - any update?)

Yeah you’ve offered them the solution/ compromise- either seein. But less often or them taking the dog. I mean they can fluff off can’t they? You sound more than reasonable. X

Well the family need to help, you’re very good to keep doing it as you’re under no obligation

I would be more concerned about the dog. It must be very stressful for it. Can you not just send her videos or emails with updates?

I had to rehome a pet and my main concern was that it went to a good home, with people who would love and care for it. It was a hard enough thing to do, I'm not sure it would have been beneficial to either of us to have been reminded of what happened.