DH serves himself the best bits

[cherriegarcia]

OK this is a very small thing but when my DH is serving food he always gives me the slightly less enticing portion.

For example, the slightly smaller half of the pizza or the half with less cheese. The part of the avocado that is a little brown. The toast that is a little burnt.

I feel so petty to bring it up with him but it's a constant thing and makes me feel a bit shit. I would always give the person I'm serving the better portion, I think it's just good manners.

Anyone else's partner do this? AIBU to say something about it or do I need to get over it?

Oddly I do the cooking ...and I would always give my husband the nicest bit...or we would share the best bit !!

Chef’s perks!

Just do the same when it’s the other way round and then you’ll always have your chance to get the cheesy half of the pizza 🍕

I cook I have the best bit. Dh hasn't noticed in 35 years. 😂

Why haven’t you said something?

I do this. I've cooked it. The best bits are mine.

I always give myself the nicest looking bit, don't really notice what DP does when he cooks but I would imagine he does the same!

My DH always gives me the best bits/best half, and if I'm serving then I want to give him the best bits/best half - it would feel a bit off if I consistently gave myself the better serving, so I know what you mean, OP.

It's these small things that tell you a lot!

I do all the cooking and I do cherry pick the best bits for myself. Sorry. Chef’s privilege. But I mean the slightly juicer bits of meat, the cheesier bit of pizza, the crispy potatoes. I wouldn’t be serving burnt toast or brown avocado to anyone though. Standards are higher!

Oh I’m with you. This would upset me. My DP and I always try to make sure the other person gets the best bit! I think that’s how it should be: ‘no, I want you to have the extra cheesy bit of pizza!’ Hmm. Maybe mention it to your DH and see if he’s just doing it subconsciously - and explain how it makes you feel.

I suppose I wanted to know if I'm being ridiculous and don't want to cause a fuss over nothing.

So far from this thread, most people think it's "chef's privileges" so I don't want to be petty!

My aunt once watched my uncle cut a sandwich in half, briefly assess the two halves and then pass her the smaller half with more crust and less bacon.
Aunt: If it had been me cutting the sandwich I would have given you the nicer half, rather than kept it for myself.
Uncle: So it worked out just as you wanted - I DID get the nicer half.

I do all the cooking and always give my fiancé the best bits - I just feel like that’s the right thing to do. He probably never ever notices but makes me feel good!

We always give each other the better portion

You shouldn't have to tell him to not serve you burnt toast and brown avocado.

What's he like generally?

Kind, thoughtful, generous?

Wait til he's served both of you and swap your plates over

Best bit is subjective though. I like crispy "burnt" bits DD hates them. I could be serving you the best bits in his mind

I remember when we had a KFC once with my brother and his family. My brother took all the best bits, leaving drumsticks left for his daughters. I said to him ‘you’re supposed to give your kids the best bits’ and he genuinely didn’t get it. He’s the kind of person who is looking out for himself first! I always give other people the best pieces, and take what’s left, especially for my kids.

Yes I do this as well as feels right, so it means he always gets the best bits. I am starting to feel resentful so I guess I need to stop, but it's sad for me not to do that very small act of love.

Bollocks, unless you are sat on your arse while he cooks. Presumably you are dealing with children or washing,; or you clean up afterwards? Presumably you help pay for the food, or support his household while he works to pay for the food

Just take the best plate, swap them if necessary, he’ll soon get the message.

if he really doesn’t, then he is a selfish, entitled shit and I would be looking carefully at other areas of my relationship

The cook gets first dibs on the food

What's he like generally?

Kind, thoughtful, generous?

All of the above and absolutely wonderful. He just really loves food 😂

My husband does the same even when he does not cook the meal. 😡

My dear husband has been sitting on his arse all weekend and last watching every WC game. God damn right I’m getting the choicest bits of what I cook for us.

the cook serves up the nicest for the other person and takes the broken egg for example

I wouldn't like this. In our house we both usually give the other person the best bits.

I feel there is no right or wrong but probably best if a couple matches up.

I guess you could discuss is lightly - just make a joke, see how he reacts?