To ask my colleague to withdraw christmas holiday request.
Jessiejuju · 05/12/2022 09:17
OK I feel terrible about this but me and my colleague who I get on with quite well normally have both requested Xmas day off but our manager has said that only one of us can have it off and that we need to sort ot out.I have asked her to withdraw her request as her and her husband they have no kids normally go to her husbands parents on Xmas day but they also go everyweek so it's not like they never see them where as I on the other hand have a 4 year old Autistic son he normaly goes to nursery but his nursery closes 1 week before christmas and doesn't open until next year the shift in question is a 3 hour shift between 7 and 10 in the morning so she and her husband could still be at his parents for lunch time where as because I am a single mama and the nurseries are closed I have no one to watch my son yes I could pay someone but it would be extremely expensive and he would most likely be very distressed with having someone he is unfamiliar with in his home plus it would be difficult for said person as my son is non verbal.
I do feel bad asking her to do this but if she won't then I am going to have no choice but to leave my job.
Coxspurplepippin · 05/12/2022 09:19
What are you doing on the other days the nursery is closed?
DCwow · 05/12/2022 09:20
Oh yeah I forgot! If you don’t have children then Christmas and family means absolutely nothing to you!
Shannny · 05/12/2022 09:21
I would explain to her and ask her. If I was her I’d work it for you.
Magenta65 · 05/12/2022 09:21
Why do you need to be in? Could you just be on call? I agree your situation seems more in need of the time off
however you are very wrong to dismiss her request just because she doesn’t have children. How closed minded are you, her family are just as important, Christmas isn’t just for children. If she works this year then you need to do next year or new year etc. I’m future you perhaps need to make alternate arrangements well in advance of have a back up. You can’t assume you’ll have Christmas off every year forever
DrMarciaFieldstone · 05/12/2022 09:21
Whoever requested it off first should have it. You can’t just say people with children have a right to Christmas over people without. It’s not her fault you have childcare issues, sorry. You can ask her nicely but she’s not bound to agree.
RobinRobinMouse · 05/12/2022 09:21
I think it is okay to ask because you are in a very difficult situation, however it is not ok to minimise her Christmas just because she has no child.
takeasadsongandmakeitbetter · 05/12/2022 09:21
Your manager really needs to deal with this- both of your requests ought to be put in and they should consider each, lazy management to ask you to decide amongst yourselves. As you have a dependent can you take this as dependents leave? I guess your colleague won't have the same reason for wanting it off...
readingismycardio · 05/12/2022 09:21
I get it, OP, and I symphatise, but you do realise that people without children have the right to enjoy Christmas day, right? Absolutely ask, but I'd say no.
BarbedButterfly · 05/12/2022 09:21
Whoever asked first should get it. You having a child doesn't make you more entitled to the day off.
Rainbowqueeen · 05/12/2022 09:22
I think it’s ok to ask provided that you make it clear that you will work it next year and that you take the year to figure out childcare arrangements with your son. You can’t rely on her good will every year - people without kids deserve the day off too.
However if you have family who you are spending Christmas with and who could watch him then it’s who asked for the leave first.
Hugasauras · 05/12/2022 09:22
I don't believe having kids should entitle you to preferential time off at Christmas. It's an important time for many people. If you get on well with her you could ask given the other difficulties you would have, but if you've previously had xmases off and she hasn't, then it's probably her turn.
FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 09:22
I'm sorry for your troubles but yes you are being unreasonable to compare her need for the day off to yours.
You can ask her (if someone asked me for those reasons then I might feasibly do it) but if she says no then it's no, don't push it or ask again.
Jessiejuju · 05/12/2022 09:23
I booked the whole two weeks off as soon as the holiday requests became available in April and have had all the days accepted except the xmas day shift and she said that she booked it off on the same day which is why the manager has said we need to decide between ourselves.
Changingplace · 05/12/2022 09:23
Who asked first? It’s quite late to only be requesting Christmas holidays now especially if you’re thinking about child care.
Your colleague not having children is irrelevant, the child care is your responsibility and you surely could’ve had your request agreed months ago?
Muchtoomuchtodo · 05/12/2022 09:23
Who asked first?
if it happened time at exactly the same time on the same day then you toss a coin.
having kids does not give your request more weight. If it was that important your request would have gone in months ago.
it’s December 5th now. Could you really have your notice in and be finished in 20 days time? How would you cope without a job?
this sounds like bad planning on your part and definitely not your colleague’s problem
takeasadsongandmakeitbetter · 05/12/2022 09:23
I agree with other posters that having children doesn't give more of a right to enjoy Christmas etc but I think OP is actually saying that she needs the time to care for her son, it's almost irrelevant that the co worker had no children. Even if they both had children then OP doesn't have childcare.
Changingplace · 05/12/2022 09:24
Just saw your update, this is your managers issue - I’d speak to your colleague and agree you go back to your manager together - unacceptable you’ve asked so long ago and had it landed on you this late on.
Milesty1 · 05/12/2022 09:24
Strictly speaking, whoever asked first should get it off. Your manager should be clear about that. If you asked first then happy days. If she asked first then you could (without assuming anything) explain that you will find it really tricky to find childcare and ask if she could swap. But be prepared that she may say no and be well within her right to do so.
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