for being moody about being left in the car for hours by DP?

[stylishelish]

Me and my boyfriend live in different cities so we see each other at the weekends and sometimes in the week. He drives to see me, but I don’t drive so he either picks me up or I get trains to his city and stay over for however long. He’s really good to me like that, he will let me stay at his for days and then wake up early to drive me to work (which is about a 1.5 hour drive from his) before he goes to work. I’m really happy generally and I think he is too.

This week I travelled to see him on the train. I was only staying two nights because of work but he was on annual leave all week. He picked me up from the station & then he said he had to run a few errands. That took about an hour or so and it was nearly midnight by the time he was done. When he had finished he just went to bed because he was shattered.

The next two days were hectic - he is in between two houses so sorting a lot of stuff out and nowhere really were we can both stay comfortably. So a lot of the time, he was driving between his old house and new house moving stuff like furniture etc., and so I couldn’t really stay in either place during the day. So I had to sit in the car. I did try and help as much as possible but I got the impression I wasn’t helping so much, and his brother was there helping so I felt a bit like a spare part. So spent most of the time in the car.

At the end of the 2 days he said we’d go for a nice meal because (in his words) “you’ve been in the car these last 2 days like a dog”. So I thought it would be a nice end to an otherwise quite boring few days. I waited and then he said he was going to a personal training session from 6-8 but was I okay to wait in the car? I said okay reluctantly but said I really didn’t want to be late back. He said he wouldn’t be over 2 hours.

I listened to a podcast just waited. He was actually late back (he came back to the car 840) and said it was because his personal trainer (who I know) wanted to put videos of him on his Instagram 🙄

I was just a bit quiet when he came back and said “I don’t think we’ve spent that much time together that’s all”

He said I was selfish and he would have to have a think about whether he wanted to continue the relationship.

i did agree to sit in the car, but I was passive aggressive really wasn’t I?

I don't think he's that into you choosing to leave you in the car rather than doing something together.

I'd block and move on.

He'll walk all over you if you let him.

Really what he needs to challenge this behaviour is a woman who says "No, you are not going to a PT session and leaving me in the car, what the fuck do you think you're playing at" but then he'd have sulked and ignored you through the meal. Throw him back.

Probably because he's been setting it up all week by leaving her in the car. Hasn't got the Guts to dump her, so pisses her off do much she raises it as an issue, then he has carte blanched to end it because she is 'unreasonable'

He called you a dog in a round about way.
He treats you like a dog. He has control of you. Leave now and be thankful!

How long since you have communicated?

How were things left?

The comment about having to decide if he still wants to be with you tells me that he probably doesn't.

You didn't know he was moving before you went?? That's a fairly big communication fail.

He sounds like a prick and you sound like a doormat

Looks like he was just looking for an excuse op. Sorry ❤️

OP, I don't know why everyone is being so aggressive with you. Mumsnet cunts, I guess?

He doesn't sound kind at all, or as though you are a priority for him. It sounds as though he knows he was an arsehole and that doesn't fit with his nice guy self-image so he's punishing you for that by threatening you with breaking up.

Do not let any of these mean girls victim blame you for not standing up for yourself - if this is the first time his real personality has been revealed then it can be very confusing and it's easy to doubt your sanity.

It IS important, though, that you have a word with yourself and don't let it happen again. He's shown you what he's like - believe him, and get rid.

Don't waste any more time,mobney or (most importantly) energy on this *rsehole.

Be proactive - dump him now. (You know he's going to chuck you just before Christmas, don't you? His last comment to you screams this.

If I were you I'd text him and say "You're right. This is going nowhere. Let's call it a day." Then block him.

The odds are that he already has some other mug woman lined up. That "personal trainer" stuff is rubbish - if it is true it could have waited. He didn't have to leave you alone waiting for him with nothing to do. If he had an ounce of affection or respect for you he wouldn't treat you like this.

Been there, been the mug, leaked the hard way.

*learned, not leaked

But my eyes leaked - a lot

I feel like I read this before as well!

Exactly!

OP - you are worth so much more than this, you really are.

He will treat you more and more appallingly - then as, I said - dump you just before Christmas. He is likely, however, when you finish with him, to try to keep you hanging on for the sake of his ego. Don't let him.

I know it's hard - you've invested a lot emotionally in this relationship - but honestly, you will be better without him.

You seem to have missed my point. You sat in a stationary car with the engine running for 2 hours and 40 minutes.

That is illegal.

Only on a public road.

He spoke the truth
" you're like a dog " to him anyway.
He sits you somewhere and you wait for " your master" to return.

OP wise up and get more confidence in yourself....never ever let yourself be treated like that.

He has no respect for you, at all.

Course the new place has electricity, what nonsense
you agreed to sit in his car for 2 hours then moaned
mid have been off home after day 1 and let him move himself, if you let him treat you like that then that’s on you really.

What a waste of your weekend.

It's just such odd behaviour isn't it?

I may well be wrong but it's like he wanted to create a situation where you could be at fault in some way and there be something negative he can say. I wouldn't be surprised if he either ghosts you or tells you that he is ending things because of you doing/being etc.

Tbh I would have made the decision myself to go home and not just asked him if I should. It was clear that you weren't really wanted there. I don't know why the fuck he didn't just cancel the weekend and say he had a lot on.

Sounds like he wants an out if something minor is making him reconsider the relatio ship, unless there is more to it

🙄

Honestly, why are you letting someone treat you like this?

I can't believe you wasted your weekend waiting around in his car.

Thank you! Happy that it's not just me having that thought. I posted on here asking the same thing, but no reply. I am 100% sure that I have read an identical thread before but some time ago. The basic facts and the style of writing are incredibly similar. If it's the same op and it's true, this has been going on for a long time.

He said I was selfish and he would have to have a think about whether he wanted to continue the relationship.

You are not the selfish one.

Save him the trouble of thinking (he obviously struggles) & dump him.

At the point he said, I've got to go to the gym for two hours can you wait, I'd have said absolutely not, not a chance.

I think that was the point you complain, if you happily agreed to that you gave him free reign to take the piss to be honest.

My now ex husband used to leave me sitting in the car for hours, sometimes with our baby.

You're now out of the honeymoon stage and into reality. This is who he is and you need to end this relationship.

Actually I can't find the post where I asked op if she had posted before. I was thinking I had heard this before from the first post.