Family member wants presents for all the children

[Diorama1]

I have a family member that has 6 children. Every year she expects that she will buy for my 3 and I will buy for her 6. We have tried in the last few years to stop this but she is refuses.
We have suggested that we take the kids out for a special day near Christmas and make it a tradition to do this, or else but one larger family present.

The budget is about €10/15 per child. As they are getting older it is much more difficult to buy anything decent for this amount so I end up spending more. Every year we end up receiving and buying plastic tat for the children. Its a waste of money and so bad for the planet.
She is very much into Christmas and birthdays and thinks its very important to buy each child a present. I honestly cant think of a single present for them as they are just into computer games. They dont read, play board games, sports, etc.
I am at a loss, does anyone have any suggestions please?

I dont want to offend her, she is already pi**ed as us for forgetting one of her kids birthdays earlier this year so dont want to rock the boat anymore.

Only spend what you can afford. Give 6 presents but spend less per present.
My DB buys a gift for both of my children and he has no children for me to buy for. This must happen in a lot of families. My BIL also has no children and buys nothing for my children and I have never complained!

My mum asked My DDil what my 3yr old grandson would like her to give him for Christmas...DDil said, ' he'd love a bag of Hershey s chocolate kisses and an apple' ! We had a big laugh as she's exactly right...much better than another ole toy or underwear
So a bag of candy and an apple is my suggestion😅

Youd think family members had multiple children as a cunning plan for extra gifts reading some of these posts.

You dont have to buy individual presents at all
Infact you don't have to buy anything

HuT say I'm buying a £30- (or 40) cinema voucher for you all asa gift and how family wise.

It's not your doing that she or he has 6 kids and you've enough in your plate with 3 DCs

If you feel it's unfair then just buy a tub of quality street for the family and say that's what you can afford from now on

Oh sorry, my post was confusing. My brother is on my side of the family, my SIL on my husband's. She only has two niblings - ours. But yes you're quite right, we do extend our budget for her gift to be several times higher than for other family members because we appreciate that she's buying for four of us, and there's only one of her.

Personally, I believe your budget for Christmas presents should be based on your own budget and ability to afford presents, not a tit-for-tat payback of the value you expect they'll spend on you. Some years our budget is higher if we can afford it, some years it needs to be tighter. No-one in our family would begrudge that and it goes both ways. Another family member is on a tight budget and exclusively buys second-hand gifts from op shops (charity stores). We are equally delighted with them as any others. We would be fine with no gifts even.

OP's family member (sibling or sibling-in-law I think?) is coming off as a bit entitled and rude DEMANDING gifts, for sure. But I don't think 3 kids vs 6 kids is a significant issue - just adjust your budget to what you can afford. Hope that makes sense. :-)

Buy them all a book or a book token for e10 - every single year. They will hate the gift and these tokens never get used, but it is in budget and she has a gift for each of her kids that is “educational”. I bet she asks to stop buying two years from now when she realises this is the end of the line and pointless .

Your employer is being unreasonable, you have clearly stated that you have a disabled child and have no other option and have tried your best to find a reasonable alternative such as working a different shift etc.

I don’t work in the care sector but I believe demand for employees outweighs the amount of positions, I would start looking for something else as soon as possible as this is not how you should be treated by a manager / company especially when you have a good record of working on holidays. (Plus I think this other person could have swapped with you - some people empathy)

I really hope you get this sorted, but you do have rights as a parent carer of a child with special needs and it may be worth looking into your local carers support group as they may offer some advice

Sorry wrong thread don’t know how that happened!

My siblings and I have decided to just buy selection boxes! Maybe an option

It’s also clear how many people see their niblings as a homogenous mass that is extension of their parents, rather than individual people who they have separate relationships with.

Buy a £10 or £15 Xbox or Playstation voucher and they can use it towards a new computer game. You can buy the vouchers in supermarkets

What a horrible attitude to have. It’s hardly the children’s fault their mother has the opinion she has.

How about a book or annual for each child. It could become a tradition. Don't worry about whether they like books, or to read, you buy a book that you like and suitable for their age range.

You know how on here sometimes people will come on worrying about money saying "and I need to get presents for my x nieces and y nephews" and people ask them why they don't simply agree as a family not to do presents? This is why. It's not simple. People do get upset when things change.

It’s worth the upset imo - I used to have to buy 14 gifts all needed to be posted, 10 internationally - my misery in shopping wrapping and standing for hours in the post office queues does not equal joy from 14 kids - who never once bothered to even acknowledge their gifts with a thank you text. The universe gained from me stopping.

So wise

Can you do the 342 in boots that way you only have to buy 4 not 6 admittedly not the best choice but lots for girls and robots to make etc for the boys, either that or as most said money maybe attached to a bar of chocolate.

Voucher/cash with a small selection box/tube of sweets/novelty socks or some novelty toy from poundshop. Once they get to 10/11 I always do this, much less stressful and they can save up for what they want.