DH just said he agrees with the parents in NZ

[Oliolo]

Sorry wasn't sure what to put as the title.

My DH has just said he wouldn't want his child treated with "vaccinated blood" either and wholeheartedly agrees with the NZ parents.

We don't have any kids but we are (were 😞) TTC.

He didn't have the vaccine which is his choice and I've tried not to discuss it with him too much because he can get very worked up about it.

He thinks vaccinated blood will give people cancer within 2-5 years. The "elites" know all about it and it would be child abuse to give a child vaccinated blood. He says deaths are up 10 fold since the vaccine.

I'm now seriously reconsidering TTC.

Wwyd in this situation? We've been together for 15 years. He never used to be an anti vaxxer. These extreme views started after the pandemic.

This vaccine ie covid or all vaccination? I don't think it's crazy to be wary of something new. Although, I think you should know his stance in vaccines in general. Also, if you have a baby and separated you'd need to be in the same page on medical stuff, religion, education ect or at least be able to co parent.

"I understand why people are saying he's stupid. But he's really not"

He really is....

The fact that he's not telling you about this money is important if you were to have a family. You need to be on the same page with the same priorities and be able to openly discuss plans etc. It's irrelevant that you have your own income/money if he is lying about what he's done with money.

He sounds like he has lost it and you need to think long and hard before having a baby with this guy. And tomorrow, you should arrange your covid vaccination IMO. Without telling him.

There were tens of people who died from the AZ vaccine. So there is some sort of basis for his views. But on balance, the best thing is to get vaccinated.

There is no such thing as "the elites". Some people have more money than others. It doesn't make them enter into some sort of club to give other people cancer.

covid vaccines will have a long term effect. They will stop many people dying of covid.

But it's not 3 years ago, it's now and yes changed. He believes that the vaccine with cause cancer and has pressured you into making a decision which could have had bad results for you.
He may be perfect in every way other than 'this' but 'this' makes him à deluded dick who would put their child's life at risk.

Are you in the UK OP?

(Apologies if this has already been asked)

I met a chap in the pub between lockdowns who believed this stuff. He was clearly very intelligent and articulate and some of his arguments were really quite plausible (apart from WEF motive - he had no answer for that).

We were having a genuinely fascinating discussion until he threw in that the world is flat... 🙄

So its not just the covid vaccine he has an issue with. He also thinks the flu vaccine - which has been around for years - is dangerous too.

Please do not have children with this man.

My ex showed no bat shittery about vaccines until after our girls were born. I was brow beaten into accepting single vaccines rather than MMR for them. He had an answer for everything. However, when one of them got measles it was me sat in the hospital with her when she was very ill wondering what the fuck I’d done. It’s also me who has the lingering doubt that how ill she was is connected with the fact she has narcolepsy.

He’s already shown he’ll brow beat you about your own health choices. He’ll use the fact that he was, in his mind, right about the flu vaccine against you if you disagree.

Walk away before he actually does you harm with his demands.

I haven’t read every post but I would try and stay away from specifically the Covid vaccine conversation. The pandemic has had an impact on mental health/anger/stress etc that we are only getting a true picture of now. Perhaps he felt the vaccine was being pressured on him/anxiety with the covid regulations and its coming out as anti-vax (and crazy views). As you said, he was never like that before Covid. It is also sometimes hard for fit healthy people to want to take it now we know the statistics (ive had 3 doses so not writing this as an anti-vaxer). I would say alot of my friends now (all well educated) are fully supportive of it for older people, not as supportive of having any future doses for younger people. None of my friends kids have had it to my knowledge, majority of parents have.

The views on blood transfusions are abit baffling-not generally what you talk about when TTC and excitedly looking forward to having a baby?! I would look to perhaps a mental health issue if you think he is changed as a person because of the pandemic?

Terrible typing!

But it's not 3 years ago, it's now and he's changed. He believes that the vaccine causes cancer and has pressured you into making a decision which could have had bad results for you.
He may be perfect in every way other than 'this' but 'this' makes him à deluded dick who would put their child's life at risk.

Ah OP. I’ve just read your update. Come on! He has weapons ??? In the UK??? What the fuck?

I think these changes have snuck up on you gradually, like the famous boiling frog analogy , but truly he sounds very far gone down the conspiracy rabbit hole.

look, at the end of the day, having children with someone who you know you can’t reason with is just… a very bad idea

Oh god sorry you're having to face this OP. It doesn't sound good. Would he come to his senses if he thought he might lose you?

Yes, I'm in England. He doesn't believe the world is flat or anything like that.

He has genuine sounding reasons for his beliefs. He is very personable and has lots of friends. People love him. But, he doesn't reveal the true extent of it to anyone but me. He tells me not to let anyone know how much food he has stored in case they try to steal it (he has a whole room in our house filled with tinned food/ packet food.)

Crypto's gone off a cliff recently. Bitcoin has plunged as has all other cryptos.

Bitcoin is down by 75% from it's highs - maybe more. A lot of people have lost a lot of money.

Read about FTX and how that's crashed and all the money has gone. He may have lost everything and is lying to you.

There's clearly some deep changes within him that have occured during covid.

People continue to change, even when we we are with them.

It sounds like he's changed.

Knowing what you know now, that's he's a bit of a loon and gaslights you, would you choose him as a life partner?

Say you met on a date and he started off about the vaccines - imagine him as a new man - would you find him attractive or would you think this one's short of a few marbles.

It sounds like covid has deeply deeply effected him. I know all about WEF and depopulation. I listen and think but I don't buy into as it just seems too absurd.

He must remember that everything he finds online may not be true either.

Telling you to keep secrets from the rest of the world is not a kind thing to do.

What would he say if you asked -- but what person trying to steal the food was hungry? Would you share it?

Your first job as a mother will be to protect your child. This starts before they are born and includes selecting a father who is sane and non-abusive. The fact you have gone along with his nonsense this far is worrying, he's literally warping the way you think and, if you dare to argue, he explodes.

Your posts sound pretty concerning tbh. I am pro vaccine and have had them and had my first whilst pregnant. My partner had the first and then begrudgingly had the second after I talked him into it. He feels Covid is not as bad as it’s made out and therefore the vaccine is not necessary, I totally disagree. This is not a relationship ender because he has no issue with me having the vaccine and our child has had all their immunisations (he doesn’t seem to have any issue whatsoever with these). But I get the feeling from your posts that your partner is much more polarised in his views and the fact he made/persuaded you not to have the vaccine YOU wanted it plus made you feel guilty for the miscarriage re the flu vaccine is very very worrying. In fact, when you said about him mentioning the flu vax as the miscarriage issue I felt a bit sick. I hope you can sort this in the best way possible for you, I feel for you

No, if I met him for the first time now, I would not want a second date.

But, if he genuinely has a mental health issue then I don't want to just abandon him. I don't recognise the person I married, however, I feel like I owe it to him, to us, to try and get him back.

I know I probably sound stupid and most of you would leave, but it's easier said than done.

He tells me not to let anyone know how much food he has stored in case they try to steal it (he has a whole room in our house filled with tinned food/ packet food.)

This and weapons - it's not weird to you?

At the very least, stop trying to bring a child into this situation. if you have a child with this man, they won't have a choice about being around this batshittery. You do.

Yes, it's weird to me. 😞

I respect the fact you want to rescue him but how would you even go about it? And are you really willing to sacrifice your chance to find someone nice and non-paranoid to have a baby with to the attempt.

I'm not suggesting leaving but it's good you are aware just how serious the situation is. He needs help, I agree.

I think you need to focus on practical matters, is the house owned/rented, who is on the tenancy, how long left etc. Do you have joint finances, assets etc. Could you move in with family in the short term. etc.

He is isolating you by making you the only person who knows the extent of how bad things are. You have recognised this isn’t normal which is why you have posted. I think his behaviour is abusive you would benefit from doing the Freedom Program.

Someone else mentioned the “boiling frog” theory and they are spot on. This has probably happened slowly over time especially if you said the situation was different 3 years ago.

Time to get out of this dead end situation and make space in your life for someone who your values align with and who if in the future you do have kids with, doesn’t fill the nursery floor to ceiling with weapons and tins of beans.

Gosh OP he is a fair way down the rabbit hole isn't he? The trouble is, you don't know what irrational belief he will latch on to next, and how that might impact your life. Will he suddenly decide all the windows have to be covered in wire mesh to keep out the 5g signal? That your 3 year old cannot watch tv because "they" are beaming mind control through it? That all your food has to be home grown and organic and cooked according to the phases of the moon.....etc etc.

This is unlikely to be the last idea of his you will strongly disagree with, and the fact that he is trying to coerce you into questioning yourself and complying shows these beliefs are now more important to him than his belief in treating you with respect.

Yes its very sad, no you could not have imagined qhat was coming down the line to you three years ago. But you are where you are , and you need to start assembling your lifeboat. 💐 for you

Yes, they have snuck up on me gradually. It's been one thing after another and tonight his comment about the NZ situation just tipped me over the edge.

I'm coming to realise that this is not a normal way to live. It's a hard realisation to come to though.

These aren't genes you want to pass on, really.