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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH just said he agrees with the parents in NZ

214 replies

Oliolo · 30/11/2022 18:42

Sorry wasn't sure what to put as the title.

My DH has just said he wouldn't want his child treated with "vaccinated blood" either and wholeheartedly agrees with the NZ parents.

We don't have any kids but we are (were 😞) TTC.

He didn't have the vaccine which is his choice and I've tried not to discuss it with him too much because he can get very worked up about it.

He thinks vaccinated blood will give people cancer within 2-5 years. The "elites" know all about it and it would be child abuse to give a child vaccinated blood. He says deaths are up 10 fold since the vaccine.

I'm now seriously reconsidering TTC.

Wwyd in this situation? We've been together for 15 years. He never used to be an anti vaxxer. These extreme views started after the pandemic.

OP posts:
JennyForeigner · 30/11/2022 19:07

My friend was happily married until her lovely stable accountant husband went completely batshit anti-vaxxer during the pandemic. It was a steep and slippery slope - he was full New World Order within a year, and it started with deciding he knew better than the mainstream media and then going down one rabbit hole after another.

They are divorced, he has lost pretty much everything including his company and is barely in contact with his children.

I could not be with someone like this because of the stupidity it takes to believe to believe that millions of doctors, nurses and other public health professionals and scientists randomly decided to engage in a global conspiracy to wipe everyone they love out in 3-5 years, but that you, Colin, a random accountant, somehow alone had the smarts to figure it out.

Endlesssummer2022 · 30/11/2022 19:08

Two of the biggest anti Covid vaxxers I know believe it will cause cancer soon. They are both heavy smokers and no I’m not joking.

OP just be happy you found out who he was before kids. Do not procreate with this man, you’ll regret it.

Floralnomad · 30/11/2022 19:09

Not TTC wouldn’t come into it , I would be running for the hills .

Overgrowngrasslady · 30/11/2022 19:11

All these conspiracy theories I could not live with and I couldn’t bring a child into the world with someone like that as the father.

clearly there is a mental health issue here . Does he have friends or other family? Does he work, do any of his colleagues know his issues?

DowntonCrabby · 30/11/2022 19:11

It would be 100% over for me OP.
Take a few days to get your head round it and decide if this is the guy you want to raise a family with.

Wafflesnsniffles · 30/11/2022 19:12

I think you'd be best off parting from him sadly. Its unlikely to end well.

Original poster
Oliolo · 30/11/2022 19:13

He thinks it's some kind of "gene therapy" and that everyday doctors and nurses have no idea about the long term effects.

He has NO scientific background. He works in business development. He believes it with such certainty that it's actually scary.

Anything I say, he has an answer for. It's either that I've been brainwashed by msm or whatever "expert" I reference isn't actually an expert and the people he listens to are better. He quotes Robert Malone often.

If anyone has any links I could show him id really appreciate it. I know it may well be too late, but I need to try something.

OP posts:
amonsteronthehill · 30/11/2022 19:13

Run. Please don't have a child with this nutcase.

Rec0veringAcademic · 30/11/2022 19:14

I would not have a child with this man. I would also do everything possible to free myself from the relationship/marriage.

Isithotinhere · 30/11/2022 19:15

If he's belittleing you because you've been brainwashed by the mainstream media he's likely to dismiss your views on all other vaccines too, from MMR to the flu vaccine as science and facts are not impacting on his thinking.

He is likely to get increasingly frustrated with you for not agreeing with him and his cult like views, making for a difficult relationship without mutual respect. You could end up separating after you have a child and have a very antagonistic parenting relationship with him.

You can't bank on him copping on when he has his own children - it's awful that he agrees with the NZ parents, they are risking their baby's life for nonsense they've read on the internet.

You say you can't argue back as you're not a scientist- he's not either, but the fact that the World Health Organisation and ALL national health systems have approved the use of the vaccine should indicate that the world's scientists and doctors do think it's beneficial, and maybe that indicates that it is?

I don't think you're going to be able to persuade him - would he listen to your GP? Or be willing to read what the NHS have to say about it? If not he's gone beyond reason and I would leave him.

MrsFinkelstein · 30/11/2022 19:15

Listen to what he's saying.
He's not just against covid vaccination - what he's actually saying is that he would allow his child to die rather than them receive a blood transfusion from someone who had been vaccinated.
Why would you want to have a child with this man?

Rec0veringAcademic · 30/11/2022 19:16

Oliolo · 30/11/2022 19:13

He thinks it's some kind of "gene therapy" and that everyday doctors and nurses have no idea about the long term effects.

He has NO scientific background. He works in business development. He believes it with such certainty that it's actually scary.

Anything I say, he has an answer for. It's either that I've been brainwashed by msm or whatever "expert" I reference isn't actually an expert and the people he listens to are better. He quotes Robert Malone often.

If anyone has any links I could show him id really appreciate it. I know it may well be too late, but I need to try something.

No links wiĺl convince him. Too far down the rabbit hole. Run.

Stompythedinosaur · 30/11/2022 19:17

Isn't this a moot point? Surely you aren't going to shag someone who is that much of an idiot? I can feel my vag drying up just reading about it.

imnotsickbutimnotwell · 30/11/2022 19:17

It just doesn’t sound like your values are aligned. Maybe they used to be but they are not any more. Be grateful you can leave and not have to be in contact going forwards. No kids means you don’t need to stay in touch with him.

Yes it’s scary leaving a relationship, I’ve done it with very little help and I had young kids. Take it step by step and ask for advice on mumsnet or from family and friends. I have been divorced for 5 years (was married for 10) yes it was a tough time but I have never felt happier and I am so grateful to be free from my ex.

2bazookas · 30/11/2022 19:18

I would not have a child with a nutcase like him. You'd be inflicting a dreadful father and childhood on the child.

Overgrowngrasslady · 30/11/2022 19:19

You can’t be serious on the links. Unless he lives in a cave covid vaccine has been in the media for a long time, the guy has seen it all.

but it’s Just one fantasy he has. In my experience whe someone goes there into conspiracy theories , it’s triggered by something , maybe fear of the vaccine so he’s finding it easier to believe he’s the clever one and it will get worse, there will be more and more he believes, soon enough you will be prepping for the end of the world and building a bunker on your garden

because if he thinks everyone who is vaccinated will die on the next five years, then there is not enough left to operate society , it breaks down and you are living in hour very own zombie movie and foraging for berries

if he won’t get help, which he won’t. I’d leave. His altered reality is not going to get better any time soon.it will get worse

WonkasBooboofixer · 30/11/2022 19:19

I honestly couldn't let someone whose beliefs are so diametrically opposed to my own be in the position to make these kinds of decisions either for my child or for me should circumstances dictate

Pumpkintopf · 30/11/2022 19:20

Did you get vaccinated op?

How does he feel about potentially having a child with a vaxxed person?

I agree with others, he's nuts.

Original poster
Oliolo · 30/11/2022 19:20

Thanks everyone. I am scared to leave because I have been with him for so long.

I don't know where to start. What makes it more difficult is that apart from this he is brilliant. He is caring, kind, loves animals, would go out of his way to help anyone. He is the least selfish person I've ever met. However, this new aspect of him changes things. I just want to rewind a few years.

OP posts:
MrsAmaretto · 30/11/2022 19:20

Run.

RedDiamond · 30/11/2022 19:21

May I ask if you have been vaccinated?

Overgrowngrasslady · 30/11/2022 19:21

Did you get vaccinated or do you also believe it? If you are vaccinated, does he know?

LookingForInfo12 · 30/11/2022 19:26

You say you're scared to leave, but surely you're more scared to stay?
He's only going to get worse over time
Leave now and build yourself a new life !

Ahwelltoobad · 30/11/2022 19:26

I really, really feel for you! Flowers He has been brainwashed, like my sister. I wish I knew how to help, but I'm at a loss.

StrawberryWater · 30/11/2022 19:27

That would be too much stupid for me and I would not be wanting children with him. In fact I’d be running for the hills.