DH just said he agrees with the parents in NZ

[Oliolo]

Sorry wasn't sure what to put as the title.

My DH has just said he wouldn't want his child treated with "vaccinated blood" either and wholeheartedly agrees with the NZ parents.

We don't have any kids but we are (were 😞) TTC.

He didn't have the vaccine which is his choice and I've tried not to discuss it with him too much because he can get very worked up about it.

He thinks vaccinated blood will give people cancer within 2-5 years. The "elites" know all about it and it would be child abuse to give a child vaccinated blood. He says deaths are up 10 fold since the vaccine.

I'm now seriously reconsidering TTC.

Wwyd in this situation? We've been together for 15 years. He never used to be an anti vaxxer. These extreme views started after the pandemic.

What’s reverse brainwashing??

I have no idea but I know when people leave cults and terrorist groups they are given therapy to de-brainwash them.

I have no idea whats involved and I don’t know if they even do it for conspiracy theories.

It would probably be very difficult to reverse brainwashing on conspiracy theories as it’s on the internet so people become addicted to it.

My colleague just sits with her earphones in watching conspiracy videos all break and lunchtime.

Feel free to DM me. They sound very similar.

Have you decided to stay?

Sorry OP. I'd leave. I couldn't be with a crazy person. Children who don't get their vaccines can die from illnesses like flu.

Yup! In a nutshell

I think you should end the relationship. 3 reasons.

1. "Everything I say he just dismisses as me being brainwashed by the mainstream media." You cannot ever have a reasoned discussion with him about this issue. And it won't end there, it won't just be this one issue. Vaccinations are one of the first decisions you make as parents - the first ones happen very early. You cannot co-parent with someone who does not believe in reason, evidenc and material reality the way you do.

1. You clearly can't have dc with him, and you really want them.

1. His batshittery has already changed your behaviour - you didn't get vaccinated. This is a terrible precedent, and every subsequent rabbit hole he dives down, he'll expect you to fall in line. And you might. You already did once.

This must be heartbreaking, OP. I am so sorry. But really, it's over. You cannot save him.

I agree with PPs saying it will get worse too.

I know someone who is preparing for the end of the world and he is stock piling weapons to kill people over food!

And my friend just constantly talks about aliens and mermaids and how the earth is flat (which somehow proves that aliens and mermaids exist 🤔)

He put a lot of money into crypto and thinks we'll be part of the "1%" one day

so he believes in pyramid schemes as well? A grade muppet

Also that New Zealand case is the night of batshittery. They have prevented their baby from having the surgery they needed because of a fixation on ‘vaccinated’ blood. They have lost rational decision-making skills and actively put their baby at risk of severe harm or death. And your DH agrees with them…: that alone would make him risky for any children he does have. Will he deny them vaccinations, brainwash them etc.

My BIL believes all the conspiracy nonsense too.

I have no time for him anymore. They are complete idiots. Boring idiots at that.

I understand why people are saying he's stupid. But he's really not, that's what makes it harder and what makes me question myself even more.

He's very well educated and has a brilliant job. Three years ago everything was perfect.

Op this is awful he’s forcing you to take health risks , you even avoided being vaccinated when pregnant. He tried to make a miscarriage your fault. He’s abusing you as his grasp on reality has slipped so far.

soon others will recognise it, it will impact his employment, he will be known as the local weirdo and people will shun him.and I’m guessing he doesn’t have any real friends left?

He made quite a bit when it all went well. (Sorry, don't know the terminology.)

However, now I have no idea what's happening with the money he "invested." He says he's locked it down for 18 months.

I agree with you I don’t believe this is due to stupidity or idiocy, I think it’s he is significantly mentally unwell and has lost his grip on reality and rationale thought . But rhe comments show what society think about people in his condition.

but he won’t get help, so either you waste more time with this man watching him deteriorate further or you get out now.

Please can I implore you to stop questioning yourself.

You are level-headed and reasonable, but you are having your behaviour influenced, coerced and changed by the batshit theories of a man you love. Do not, even for a moment, take his point of view over yours.

He sounds so damn sure, right? But he's wrong. Like wierdly, enormously wrong. And he will not entertain reason.

And you're questioning yourself??

OP, don't have a child with a moron.

He's ticking a lot of boxes.

I was reading somewhere that there is a link between narcissistic traits and the type of superior knowledge he is claiming to have.

Be very wary OP.

Just because you have been together a long time is not any reason to have a child with someone who has turned into a domineering conspiracy know it all.

Oh dear. My DP’s DSis is like this. And there is zero point in trying to reason with her. She was also brainwashed into thinking Brexit was a good idea. Her argument is always that anyone who disagrees with her has been “brainwashed by mainstream media”. It’s her mantra. She will then quote random stats obtained from god knows where. I have taken to avoiding her when she comes to visit because I cannot stand having these appalling views shoved down my throat. She refused a vaccine. Of course she got Covid.

He's not the person he was three years ago, and you can't turn back the clock any more than you can change his mind with reason and logic.

It's frightening to think about because it's a massive set of changes, but this isn't the life you were planning. So you will have to change your plans. You can do this far more easily than you can persuade your DH that he's wrong (and needs help).

I'm really sorry OP but I agree with other posters, it's time for you to move on. You can't go on TTC with someone who would let their child die for such a ridiculous reason.

So he’s hiding the losses then?

I can't believe he stopped you getting vaccinated then suggested you lost your baby because you had the flu vaccine.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

seriously- how are you still with him?

I think you really need to consider carefully if your beliefs here are compatible. I have nursed children of Jehovah's witnesses who would not allow blood transfusions for religious reasons, obviously that's different but both parents had the same attitude to risk & the consequences - literally prepared to let their child die, which almost happened. It doesn't sound as if you do have the same attitude as you DH , as others have said you need to think about all aspects of parenthood before TTC.

I not sure Over. He won't tell me exactly what he has or what's going on with it.

Tbh it's the least of my worries. I have my own money.

is he normally stupid - or is this mental aberration something that has just started?
is he talking about vaccinations or blood transfusions?
are his relatives mormons?
if not - walk away very quickly - he may be sweet and helpful, but - but deranged is something else
next stage is having you wearing tinfoil and a colander on your head and BUGging out into the wilds

There are a lot of people trying to save loved ones from these conspiracies - it isn't easy. This podcast has a good summary of what we think helps: www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/think/amp/ncna1239828

Forget the concept of “stupid” or “intelligent”. It’s just confusing the issue. It simply comes down to the fact your values and beliefs are so fundamentally different that this will not work going forward, it will get worse and a million times worse adding kids into the mix. It would be irresponsible to have a child with him has sharing parental responsibility knowing you disagree on something so important. What happens if you split up and the kid is with him one weekend and needs medical assistance and he refuses?

I believe you that it was perfect three years ago but things change, people change. He is no longer that person and you need to grieve for that because it’s gone. You cannot change him with links or make him go to therapy or send him a YouTube video and he’s magically back to how he was 3 years ago. That person has left the building.

You are mid thirties you can start again. Make plans to move on and get out of this relationship. He will drag you down to the bottom with him if you don’t get out. He is already controlling your health (abusive behaviour) by intimidating you into not getting vaccinated. He isn’t a good person.

OP, I’d tread very carefully with your plans to have a baby together.

I agree it isn’t about intelligence. But strong antivax sentiments can lead to numerous other conspiracy theories, and that could make your life very complicated or make you feel you have to compromise some of your freedoms or values to keep the peace.