Leave work and be a stay at home single mum

[alexaakkxx]

just wondering if anyone has done what the title says?

I am a single mother to 2 children who are 6 and 2. I work a very stressful full time job that doesn’t pay the best and in all honestly I don’t really enjoy it at all.

i currently get UC help with childcare costs but even after this, I still am not left with much and quite frankly I would probably get around the same amount from UC to stay at home with my 2 year old.

I have applied for college as I think going to university is the best option for me as I’m not and never been sure what I want to do as a career and always been in boring admin jobs.

I know I will never get the time back that I could have now with my young children and with my job, I hardly see them as when I’m home it’s dinner bath and bed and they are with their dad 3 nights a week.

Has anyone quit their job and stayed at home as a single mum or will this be a big regret of mine?

I think I wouldn't want to be fully at the mercy of the UC system at the moment. Also would you struggle to get back into work after time out?

I take it you understand that if you give up work your not entitled to any support for a period of time. Look at decreasing your hours sure or find a different job but if you plan to give up work and go on benefits....well I hope you have the saving to support yourself for several months whilst you get no help. Then need to make a new claim. You can't just give up work because you don't like the job. I don't like mine half the time and I know dp doesn't enjoy his. However we have 2 children and they need us to carry on so we do.

Not a good idea being dependent on the state.

@JustAnotherManicMomday no I didn’t realise that. I thought it was different for single mothers, didn’t realise you needed to wait!

A friend is doing an open university degree. But does work part time for her sanity

I definitely wouldn't give up working. I would look to reducing my hours or condensing my hours instead. You would be reliant on the welfare state for your income and potentially sabotaging both your own life and that of your children.

I left full time work to go back to university. My child was just 3 at the time and I claimed immediately without any penalty

I take it you understand that if you give up work your not entitled to any support for a period of time.

Technically if her youngest is under 3 she’s not required to work in order to receive UC, so at this point she would be ok and would receive support.
But yes when her youngest turns 3 she will be required to work 16 hours. It might be worth her cutting her hours right down to that.

@BrewandBiscuit did you go to university long after you left work though? I wouldn’t be going back to college until next September

I wanted to do this when my dc's were tiny. Unfortunately you are very unlikely to be able to claim much / anything as you would have voluntarily given up work.

As awful as it is it's probably best to stick with your job for the time being. This is not the time to plunge off a financial cliff edge. If you have support you could possibly juggle work and open university?

Can you go part time till you start Uni? I worked 25 hours PT when my children were that age and it was a good balance.

No honestly I think this would be a crazy thing to do.

As a pp has commented you wouldn’t get any benefits immediately.

As a single mother without a job it would be far harder to find a new and improved job. You would likely be skint, isolated and bored. You would have to explain again and again why you voluntarily left a job, which would be a black mark against you.

I think it’s a great idea to study and it will be tough but you’re in a better place to do it with income than without.

Could you reduce your hours at all?

Can’t imagine you would be financially better off living off uc having actively given up work.
Switch jobs instead?

Relax this isn’t daily mail comments

Of course you’re correct; I’d never get away with saying fuckers in the Daily Mail comments

I get completely how you feel and I don't think many understand how tough it is being on call 24/7. I wouldn't liken it to a parent in a relationship being able to work a full time stressful job. When I get home I have to cook tea, do homework, do reading, brush teeth, Pj's, ask them about their day, get them to sleep. I have no one to tag team with. Yesterday I ate my tea on the toilet whilst they were in the bath. I go to sleep at the same time as thrm every night or else I don't have the energy to wake up and do everything I need to do tomorrow morning.
The only thing that keeps me in is the feeling I get of knowing I'm being a role model to them and knowing they'll be grown one day and that I won't have the same workload.
HOWEVER mine are both in school and I don't know if I would feel different if they were younger. Both mine went to nursery but only three days so I did feel I saw them. I went up to full time when my youngest was in preschool. Three days without and four days with felt enough for me but you might be more maternal.
Also I think the stress of being too busy is not as bad as the stess of being skint on benefits. The fear of the brown overpayment envelops, the sanctions, the appointments, the attitude of some of the call centre staff. At least whilst you're working you feel you couldn't be doing anymore to help your situation. On benefits I constantly jolted between going on indeed in desperation and then cancelling interviews, wondering what the hell i was doing and then crying when my card was declined. You might not be such a headcase though

Very bad idea or we'd all be doing it and then no one would be able to pay taxes

The system is fucked if someone capable of work can choose to stay home and be in a similar financial position.

So who’s going to provide financially for the children you chose to have?

How long ago?

I wouldn't give up my job in a million years, no. If your landlord decides to sell, you'll be hard pressed to be accepted elsewhere and if you have a mortgage you'd end up a mortgage prisoner (unable to change lender, stuck with whatever rate they will offer).

Unfortunately, this is what millions do. That’s why we have an ever decreasing pool of net contributors and an underproductive economy.

You’ve got three free nights a week, start studying then.

Everyone who thinks you are being unreasonable has annoyed me. I was on tax credits. I had a part time job but my children were older. I realised that when tax credits finished I would be unlikely to secure a decent job. I'd probably be earning minimum wage and I'd be renting a room in a HMO in my 50s. Not a nice prospect.
So think very carefully about your next steps. Will you do an access course? I went straight onto a foundation year at university so didn't need to.
The most important thing is choose a degree wisely. Will it actually increase your earning power? I did a degree that guaranteed a profession at the end of it as opposed to just a generic degree. For the love of God don't do something like criminology or sociology. You need to look for something with a defined career path. Good luck. I'm earning really well purely because of my degree. Old me could never have earned the salary I'm on now.