Leave work and be a stay at home single mum

[alexaakkxx]

just wondering if anyone has done what the title says?

I am a single mother to 2 children who are 6 and 2. I work a very stressful full time job that doesn’t pay the best and in all honestly I don’t really enjoy it at all.

i currently get UC help with childcare costs but even after this, I still am not left with much and quite frankly I would probably get around the same amount from UC to stay at home with my 2 year old.

I have applied for college as I think going to university is the best option for me as I’m not and never been sure what I want to do as a career and always been in boring admin jobs.

I know I will never get the time back that I could have now with my young children and with my job, I hardly see them as when I’m home it’s dinner bath and bed and they are with their dad 3 nights a week.

Has anyone quit their job and stayed at home as a single mum or will this be a big regret of mine?

I totally sympathise with your situation!

Have you considered applying to do a foundation degree? Lots of universities do January intakes. I'm suggesting this as you will get maintenance loans and if you're considering doing NHS there's lots of grants available. You'll still get universal credit for your children but you wont get the rent/jobseekers element. On the plus side you won't have to pay council tax and income will be stable.

Why not use this time while they're young to find something that makes you passionate too? You'll be working for decades, you should at least enjoy it! You'll also get to be at home more if you're studying.

Whatever you decide short term, getting a degree in any subject puts you in line for a graduate level job and overall, graduates earn more www.gov.uk/government/news/graduates-continue-to-benefit-with-higher-earnings. Dont stick with a dead end depressing, low paid job, get out while you are young.
I studied for a degree as a mature student (in my 20s) after leaving school at 16 and went on to do postgrad & PhD and am definitely earning more & in more secure & rewarding employment in my 50s that I would have been if I had stayed in my boring admin job.

Did I read this correctly, you are an able bodied person who wants to stop working and live off benefits? I’d LOVE to do that…sign me up!

I think the point that a lot of people are missing is that you are wanting to go on benefits as a lifestyle choice but to further your education. I did the same although it was 20 years ago now. Had an abusive partner who was also a gambling addict. I knew that I had no future with him & that I was going to be the sole provider for my son. I left him, went on benefits, went back to college then Uni.

Yes I claimed benefits for a total of 3 years (worked part time for 2 years when I could finally get funding for childcare) but after that I went straight into a £30k a year job at 25, £45k by 30 & £60k by 33. I’m now disabled (& married) so I don’t work anymore but if I wasn’t disabled (something that happened recently & now I can even dress, bathe, toilet myself so have a carer that comes in whilst my husband works) then I would have continued my earning increases & would have continued paying back large amounts in tax.

Claiming benefits for a short time then becoming a higher earner & paying a larger amount of tax is far better than working minimum wage all your life & paying barely anything in tax & still needing UC top ups. People seem to forget that once you have a degree & a good job that you’ll be contributing more than what you took in benefits over your lifetime.

However make sure you speak to UC about your plans, they will let you know how much you will be entitled to & work out of you can live off that in the short term until you start earning again post degree. Also think seriously long & hard about what field you want to go into & potential earnings in that field. There’s no point getting a degree & a huge amount of debt if it’s not going to help in the long term

Yes you did. She is an able bodied person who wants to leave a dead end job and put her efforts into education to gain better career prospects for her and her children.
Tell me you only read the title, without telling me...🙄

Yeah but we’re not allowed to do that here. We’re supposed to have a well paying career and a wonderful DH who would never ever leave and does 50% of everything before we have DC.

Welcome to MNs version of fucking DisneyWorld.

Look at the Open University. They are truly brilliant. They know how to offer high quality flexible and online degrees. Their lecturers are professional and highly skilled. They also charge less than most universities. I did my first degree at Cambridge and then decided to prequalify later in life after having kids. I felt the Open University was so much better at undergraduate education than Cambridge.

Yes. And you know what the difference is? Having a partner to share the burden with, the mental load, the financial load. The OP has none of that. Hats off to her I say for raising 2 kids on her own and choosing what she thinks is best (and yes I work full time).

Well, you don't get to choose who can claim benefits or not.

I’ve looked into the open university but don’t know if it’ll work for me as I’d like to study life sciences or biology so I don’t think this would look as good to future employees compared to brick uni?

i wouldn’t think that’s necessarily true, the people I know are paying £250 a month which isn’t a small amount, not when people are paying mortgage / rent / other bills too. But it is dependant on your income, so you might not repay any for many years and as you’re not going at 18 you are unlikely to repay it all unless you get a very high paying job straight away. It won’t affect you, but those going at 18 the loan is dependant on parents income, which many parents don’t realise. And parents are expecting to contribute the remainder. This is because the vast majority of student loans aren’t repaid so the government needed to reduce the burden I guess on the tax payer. They do need to make sure parents know this at a younger age though, as most are not prepared. For my son we are expected to pay over 5k per year towards his Uni. Which is fine, we can pay it, but many have other commitments. Younger kids etc (just a warning for any parents of kids approaching Uni age)

Most will want lab skills. Which you won’t have with OU.

@ChristmasPickleRick yeah that’s what I thought

OU do summer schools for lab skills - inconvenient for a single mum of course.

I went to uni when my kids were young and loved it. Uni was really family friendly and I could easily manage my studies around the kids. Why not go part time until September, spend time really thinking about what career you want to pursue, and then in September start a university course that will get you to where you want to be professionally.

Uni when the kids were young was the best thing I ever did. You don't get this time back with your kids. I'd really regret it if I'd spent that time slaving away at a job I didn't like and missing out on time with my children. In my experience, uni offers a great balance, and improves career prospects at the same time.

You don’t need to wait as you have a child under 5. If you can do it and look at starting college or uni I’d say do it. You can get childcare costs paid whilst you study.

@Freshstarts22 i don’t think UC will pay childcare costs whilst I’m a student? I think they only pay childcare costs when you are at work earning an income

@Scatterbrainbox then you continue working to pay for said education and study part time. That is not what UC is for. Fuck sake, and people wonder why others get pissed off at people who do this!

we would all love to not work / have more family time / re-train / insert whatever the fuck it is you want to do but you do it in your time on your resources!

You’ll get the child care grant through student finance

This government works on Divide and Rule - it encourages us to see each other as rivals and threats instead of people who may need support some times and offer it at other times. We pay taxes into a general pot so that society runs well and everyone has a reasonable life. Also the OP isn't proposing to sit around in luxury - she has small children who need more of her attention than she can give them working full time and running the home (and yes I think all parents should have this option). It's sad that not everybody has a real choice of whether to work or not during their children's early years.

Most colleges pay for childcare for Access courses but only for under 5s, so my youngest was covered but I had to pay for wrap around for my elder two on college days (when they were usually only in when I worked those 3 days) and it was a significant amount of money, that year was extremely tight. But worth it.

SF pay childcare for all children (85% of the cost).

I think you should do it OP. I don't know about giving up work now, maybe better to keep some savings, if you can bear to continue working.

As to all the haters, instead of blaming the OP for giving up work, look at the system which means that her FULL TIME salary plus UC barely covers the extortionate childcare costs and barely make it worth her while to work. Consider why she needs UC if she's working full time - it shouldn't be like this. There's something very wrong in this country if someone is working full time and still needs UC to help her just get by. It's salaries, jobs and childcare that need to change in this country and you play right into the govt's hands by attacking people who are on benefits.

And if you need an economic argument for her going back to college, she'll contribute more to society in taxes, spending and her knowledge and skills after she's gone to college and built up her skills and income.

@PatientlyWaiting21 so what's stopping you?

@HowieDBreakfastBeef stopping me from what?

How can you afford to be a stay at home mum if you’re a single parent and therefore, presumably, have no income coming into the household?

YABU if you want to do this and expect to live off benefits to do so.