Leave work and be a stay at home single mum

[alexaakkxx]

just wondering if anyone has done what the title says?

I am a single mother to 2 children who are 6 and 2. I work a very stressful full time job that doesn’t pay the best and in all honestly I don’t really enjoy it at all.

i currently get UC help with childcare costs but even after this, I still am not left with much and quite frankly I would probably get around the same amount from UC to stay at home with my 2 year old.

I have applied for college as I think going to university is the best option for me as I’m not and never been sure what I want to do as a career and always been in boring admin jobs.

I know I will never get the time back that I could have now with my young children and with my job, I hardly see them as when I’m home it’s dinner bath and bed and they are with their dad 3 nights a week.

Has anyone quit their job and stayed at home as a single mum or will this be a big regret of mine?

OP views tend to be rather conservative on this site, most of people replying are doing so because someone on benefits not working FT pushes their buttons. They aren't your friends and you don't have to listen to them (though I acknowledge their power to vote in Govts that can make the changes they want).

At the mo you have to earn the equiv of 16 hours pw at National Mimimum Wage once your youngest is 3, to claim Universal Credit. This may soon rise to 30 hours :/ Given that just dropping some hours for a while might be wise. But I wanted to say do what you feel is right, not what people here say. The time when they're young is so so precious and irretrievable.

People keep saying 'sitting at home' as if when you work PT you just sit there on the sofa. Rather than cooking & baking with the children, going out to parks etc meeting other parents & children, doing creative things, enjoying unrushed time together. As well as the zillion chores.

How about going back to uni? Then can apply for student support? Also maybe a couple of evenings when kids with ex could look for something very part time?
Yanbu to want to be with your kids but you need to have a plan if you leave your job.

It is incredibly, unbearably hard to work full time and raise young children alone. Add in any additional needs and it is nigh on impossible! Only single parents will understand your dilemma

I think this thread has shown that even people who have been there can have the awful 'if I can do it, why can't you' attitude.

Do what works for you but make sure that you have a plan moving forward. I sat on benefits till I could get my youngest in full time school nursery so I had only one drop off/pick up, did a PGCE and have been mainly full time since. I dropped to part time for a few years as both a single parent and an only child with a parent with dementia and the realisation I was never going to be able to do it all without compromising my mental health. Full time again when she died. My eldest is now 19 and works pretty much full time around his degree and I am so proud. And grateful I can offer him a free roof over his head whilst he saves for his future.

Don't let the naysayers get you down. You can improve your future with a bit of luck, tough decisions and hard work.

She's not alone though, she has a reasonably equitable parenting split with 3 nights a week when her ex is co-parenting

He is not having the children over night. That's not co-parenting.

This thread is 6 months old! The OP has probably already made a decision.

I’ve actually reduced my hours at work and only work 3 days now. Much better all round and everyone is a lot happier :)

That's great!

"I’ve actually reduced my hours at work and only work 3 days now. Much better all round and everyone is a lot happier :)"

So happy to hear this! Sorry for restarting this thread without checking the date yesterday. Lovely to hear your update though :)

I never gave up my job but was made redundant and was on UC for a while, and earned a similar amount to when I was working so I could pay bills etc. Then I went into part time work.

Don’t quit. Maybe find something part time that allows you to learn a skill. Or if you choose university, make sure that you have your course and start date confirmed and you could probably leave your job on the premise that you need to focus on your studies. A friend of mine did that - maybe find out what government support you. An get if you study full time.

Good luck x