Leave work and be a stay at home single mum

[alexaakkxx]

just wondering if anyone has done what the title says?

I am a single mother to 2 children who are 6 and 2. I work a very stressful full time job that doesn’t pay the best and in all honestly I don’t really enjoy it at all.

i currently get UC help with childcare costs but even after this, I still am not left with much and quite frankly I would probably get around the same amount from UC to stay at home with my 2 year old.

I have applied for college as I think going to university is the best option for me as I’m not and never been sure what I want to do as a career and always been in boring admin jobs.

I know I will never get the time back that I could have now with my young children and with my job, I hardly see them as when I’m home it’s dinner bath and bed and they are with their dad 3 nights a week.

Has anyone quit their job and stayed at home as a single mum or will this be a big regret of mine?

@BabyFour2023 tell us who’s picking up YOUR bills for your FOUR children because a fiver says YOU aren’t pulling 50 hour weeks and sticking them in childcare, barely making needs meet and barely seeing your children.

Yes. Kind of. I was working full-time before I had my daughter and you're right, you don't get the time back. I haven't worked full-time since, out of the house anyway.

What I did was take what I was doing and started doing it remotely. And today I do it remotely at an hourly rate twice what I did it for at the organisations I was working for.

It's the digital age and a great time to do this. Go through your skills over the years and try and set yourself up remotely. When you claim UC you can tell them you've just started as self-employed and they will give you time to grow your business.

I do digital marketing, design, website content, copywriting, and I'm looking into creating and selling digital content.

All the information on how to do them are on the web so I would get searching, set yourself up, then quit your job and go on UC as a business start up. Then it will be a case of getting a decent income. I get a little top up from UC and my time outside of school hours is for my child and it's great because I wouldn't want to have to use childcare.

So whenever you're not at work you're just sat there doing now't?

Actually it's exactly what UC is for. You do not have to work with a child under 3. Those are the rules that UC set.

No she isn't. She's perfectly entitled to do it under UC rules, no matter what anyone on mumsnet says.

I didn’t say it wasn’t entitled. I said it was unreasonable. I actually agree; it is entitled!

I have 3 children, pregnant with our 4th who will join his/her siblings at their private school when they’re 4.
Our businesses pay our bills. Any more questions?
I’m definitely not barely making ends meet but happy to send you the fiver if you need it?

No need, I’m doing fine get loads of UC top-ups. But as you’re feeling altruistic, allow the glow of your taxes funding OP to warm your heart.

@Hooverphobe so happy for you hun.

I would not give up your job but I would go part time. Thats win win and you can sort studying out too. Good luck OP

So a single mum with a three-year-old has to work part time and study as well. Far out some of you live in La La Land

@BabyFour2023 - I'm genuinely glad you are doing well, but maybe given that life is good for you , might be nice to have a bit of empathy with someone for who Life is a bit tighter. She's not sat at home with several over11s doing sweet FA and either relying on a bloke to pay for everything or claiming everything under the sun-she has an under 3 and is deciding whether it might make more sense to take a step back for a short period and get better qualifications going forward.

The OP is entitled to stay at home and get UC because her child is under 3. Once her child is 3, that entitlement stops. This is the law set by a Conservative government in this country. The level of UC she will get is pretty low, and she wouldn't be living a life of luxury.

I think this is the lowest age (or possibly second lowest) out of any other country that expects its citizens to go back to work after having children. Most other countries set age of the youngest child much higher before they have to seek work. This is because it is recognised to some degree by all countries that both the child and the family and indeed society benefits from being at home when the child is so young and also the practicalities of returning back to work when the child is so young. It is not immoral or grabby. It is what our welfare system is there to do - to support people.

We have the strictest rules and the harshest sanctions for anyone who does not look for work when they will need to do so. I think the OP is perfectly justified in weighing up her options and deciding what is best for her family. I am happy to pay my taxes into a society that supports her in this. In a year's time she will be part of one of the harshest, most unfair systems in existence.

@Justthisonce12 no OP does not "have to". Your in la la land people will do what is beneficial for their own family as long as it is legal it's really none of your business. Are you jealous by any chance? It's not a good look.

I don't know why OP is getting such a hard time people need to borw off her youngest is still little.

@Closuretime 🙄 Okay, you’re clearly hard of reading as your reply is in no way in keeping with the comment that I made.

Easy for you to say from your ivory tower. Your post says you have businesses and kids at private school so you're clearly not short of money, but you begrudge a single mum raising kids on her own a temporary benefit claim. I am a single mum working full time and I don't begrudge it. I can't imagine being such a bitter person in that way.

What a good example to your kids, don’t like work, go on benefits

Or it's very hard to juggle work as a single parent of young children and OP wants to go to university to improve her job prospects in future.

Op if the kids are with the dad three nights a week could you not work those three days?

I don’t think you can just give up work and decide to have a life on benefits. If you need to study it needs to be well thought through and somethin you want to do, or you;L be chucked out after the first year if you fail.

It is incredibly, unbearably hard to work full time and raise young children alone. Add in any additional needs and it is nigh on impossible! Only single parents will understand your dilemma.
Do what you feel is best for your family. I worked part time until my youngest was in full time school and full time ever since. My house is always a tip and sometimes I feel like my kids are raising themselves. However it's really important to me to set the example of hard work to my children, and I also benefit hugely from the routine and structure of employment.

Most decent human beings such as myself are delighted to have our taxes funding someone like the OP who wants to study and improve her future for herself and her children .

She is not raising them alone !!!

The kids are with the dad 3 nights a week.

They’re with their dad 3 nights a week till 7pm. He doesn’t have them over night and never has.

How old are you OP? Just asking because that might affect your chances of finding work even with a university degree.

I quit work as a nurse when I got pregnant with my second. I’m now in my last year of a law degree and stay at home with the kids. It’s tough going though. It’s really hard finding time to study whilst being a full time parent (and I’m married so can’t imagine doing it solo). I also can’t imagine doing a uni course whilst working full time. I suppose it depends on how intense the course is.