Leave work and be a stay at home single mum

[alexaakkxx]

just wondering if anyone has done what the title says?

I am a single mother to 2 children who are 6 and 2. I work a very stressful full time job that doesn’t pay the best and in all honestly I don’t really enjoy it at all.

i currently get UC help with childcare costs but even after this, I still am not left with much and quite frankly I would probably get around the same amount from UC to stay at home with my 2 year old.

I have applied for college as I think going to university is the best option for me as I’m not and never been sure what I want to do as a career and always been in boring admin jobs.

I know I will never get the time back that I could have now with my young children and with my job, I hardly see them as when I’m home it’s dinner bath and bed and they are with their dad 3 nights a week.

Has anyone quit their job and stayed at home as a single mum or will this be a big regret of mine?

Exactly. Whole system needs reviewing. I’m a single parent working full time. I honestly dont understand why I should pay for you to stay at home? What about your pension and income when the kids are older. The Govt will review this area of UC and ultimately aim to get everyone with kids back working full school hours.

You have three nights a week child free, use these nights to look for another job or work these nights and have a day off to yourself in the week?

So when there's a stay at home mum saying her job of raising children is important, it's only important as she's in s relationship?
One could argue it's actually more important to have a parent at home more if you only have one parent.
If your dad has fucked off, and your mum works 40 hours then who benefits?

Two different questions:

• Should you study something to give you more interest and earning potential? Yes, sounds like a good plan if you can make it work

• should you quit working from now until next September and expect the state to pick up the tab for you to sit at home until then? No, bad plan. Insecure and you shouldn't really be entitled to do this. If you hate current role, can you shift things around so that you work more when your ex has the kids? Doing bar work etc, so you can cut down the admin hours on days when you have your kids? If you are not earning well and you hate your job and will give it up to study, then you just need to get the best paid job that fits rather than something great to beat what you have, iyswim.

No way! You don’t get to back out of being an adult because you don’t like work! Kids cost money! And money has to be earned. Have family time after school and at weekends like the rest of us!

The Govt will review this area of UC and ultimately aim to get everyone with kids back working full school hours.

Where are all these 9-3 jobs going to come from? We're going to need a hell of a lot more flexible working requests granted and affordable school holiday childcare if that's what the aim is.

Ok@HowieDBreakfastBeef, if a high proportion of kids grow up in single parent households, as they now do, who is going to pay for all these people to just sit at home? Until what age? And if there is 50:50 custody, does the state pay for two parents to sit at home? OP has 3 nights without her kids that she could work in at the very least. Sitting at home is not a good plan that the state should be funding.

If you are not sure what career you want or what you want to study then university isn't a good idea.

It's costly, you will get limited funding, it will be very hard work with children and if you are just doing it for the sake of it then you will just end up with debt and lost years.

If you have a plan for what you want to study, how you'll manage childcare, and a career you want to go into afterwards then crack on but you do need to have a plan.

How do you think those of us that work manage? I work school hours and then some evenings. Holiday clubs and childcare.

Think very carefully before allowing yourself and your children to become dependent on the welfare state under the current Government. They don't care about those who are struggling, they don't care about single mothers and they are under intense pressure to fix the economy. When "tough decisions" (as they're so fond of saying) have to be made, you can bet they'll be making decisions that make life tough for benefit claimants.

FFS are you for real? I work full time study part time at uni for a work related qualification and also a single parent to 2DC one of who has additional needs. No overnights at all at their fathers and maybe on a good week he had them for few hours.
Am I expected to carry on working paying into the tax system so you can stay at home,?
you have three nights child free every week use that to study not sponge of the rest of us. I’ll

Amen!

Just wanted to touch on this

I have applied for college as I think going to university is the best option for me as I’m not and never been sure what I want to do as a career and always been in boring admin jobs.

Uni won't help with that. Having done it: don't embark on a college course/degree without having a clear idea of what you want to get out of it and how it will tangibly move you toward that goal. You'll come out with debt and be none the wiser.

Also: most work is boring and hard. It's reasonable not to want to do something actively soul-destroying, but please don't have illusions about how fun graduate/'career' jobs are.

If you're on UC, your work coach would be a good port of call for career advice and signposting. In nearly all cases, they will be happy and enthusiastic about assisting someone who wants help.

This is mumsnet, the majority will not encourage you to stay at home.

Do what makes you happiest and your children happiest.

Could you go part time?
When your child turns 3 you'd be required to be looking for/ working in order to claim UC.

Just need to point out that student loans will affect the amount of UC you get.

If their dad has them 3 nights/days a week why don’t you consider going part time and work those days?

So much crappy outdated advice on here. 🙄 Your youngest is under 3 which with UC removes your work commitments www.gov.uk/universal-credit/your-responsibilities . That said UC is set up so that in most circumstances you are financially better off in work. Check your entitlement carefully using a manual calculator. The online ones are notorious at getting entitlements wrong. This site is very good and the steps are pretty self explanatory. www.uc-advice.co.uk/calculating-your-universal-credit

Bear in mind once your child hits three your work commitments will return- though I don't know how studying affects those. Also bear in mind that the work thresholds will change next year- in order to not be benefit capped you will have to work more, I can't remember what the weekly hours will be- it was announced in the autumn budget by Jeremy Hunt- but it is more than 16 hours. Also UC is not great with student finance. I believe they take your maximum entitlement (whether you take it or not) pound for pound from your claim. Seek specialist advice to look at your financial options. There are some excellent advice groups on FB.

Lovely to see all the vitriol against those on benefits cropping up. 🙄

There is something wrong with the system if it’s a better to be claiming benefits than working.

Setting the financial aspect aside, being in work has an array of benefits, one of which, id the social aspect. As a single mother with two young children surely you would feel isolated at home.

I've cost the country far more by working. Childcare fees and the toll it has taken on me has costs the NHS a fortune. But I do have a tiny pension to show for it

Yes there is.
There is something wrong with the part of the system that doesn't compel employers to pay people a living wage, leaving people in a situation where they can barely survive and need benefits while in work or are actually better off not working.

We should campaign for a higher minimum wage.

I was thinking of approaching work with part time so maybe that’s my best option, although highly unlikely as 2 others in our team are part time.

I have a fixed rate mortgage for another 4 years and the payment is very low for this, also have savings in my bank which could help till next September I suppose.

I’ll have a re-think!

I would start by going PT.

A TA job would be great as you have experience with children and it will be school hours.

UC are a nightmare and will stop your money for any silly reason, so it’s best not to rely on them.

I went to college and uni as a single parent and I loved it but my DD was older and you don’t get hardly any funding so usually have to work as well, so it is very difficult.
If you struggle to work FT then it’s going to be a nightmare.

It also means your evenings are full of doing assignments or revising and you end up chasing your tail and it’s harder than just working FT.

I personally would find a PT job which you don’t need to take work home with you.
Then once the little one is in school then you can think about going back to college.

I think its a great idea. Your children are only lite once. Doing a degree in that time is also a very good idea.
I bust a gut working as a single parent to DS and consistently earned less than my friends on benefits. I also missed my DSs precious early years which I will never get back.
I wish to God I'd done the same.

Exactly. Whole system needs reviewing. I’m a single parent working full time. I honestly dont understand why I should pay for you to stay at home?

Amen to that from a lone parent here.

Sorry if I've missed this, but study what at university and for what purpose? You need a clear plan. This is why people go uni and achieve financial stability before having kids. Hate to break it to you but many jobs aren't that exciting long term, even with a degree.