it is very easy to say 'I'm off to Switzerland' or 'I'll drink myself to death' but the older you get those sorts of ideas don't seem so realistic or indeed possible.
PILs are very elderly, in their 90's. They still live independently (with support from carers and from all family). One has dementia and wouldn't now be able to make the decision to end their life - even though that's what they would have wanted to plan for in this scenario, they are no longer competent to initiate such an action, or to remember what they were doing part way through. It would require someone sitting next to them feeding them pills and glasses of whisky. That's not going to happen!
Other one has crippling arthritis and couldn't open the bottles / packets of pills, it would require sustained deceipt over a long period hiding pain meds from carers to build up sufficient stock, and would also need someone to top up the whisky glass to avoid most of it being poured on the table.
They had had made all the best decisions they could, moderate pensions, downsized to an accessible bungalow with a small garden at 80. But now nearly all their friends have died, they are increasingly having to accept care that feels intrusive. Add in loss of sight and hearing and they are miserable and lonely. A move to any other accommodation would completely disorientate the one with dementia, plus it would be almost impossible for them to find the required care in the same nursing / care home, so they would most likely be seperated.
They have some money and a house but not enough to pay the £150,000 per annum that it might cost for both of them to be in residential care.
It really is a horrible dilemma.
Their experience and that of my own parents' (who both required wheelchairs in later years) has made us consider our own future. We will downsize - probably in our 70's not 80's. Somewhere flat and accessible (away from our hillside house with a sea view) so we can walk to the shops, or someone can easily take us out in a wheelchair. Somewhere with a community where we won't be isolated, maybe near a school or next to a community centre / library / public space so we can sit out on a bench on a sunny day and say 'hello' to people walking past, or at least sit inside and observe life going on around us. Maybe some kind of retirement community where there are activities... Somewhere big enough to accommodate a live-in carer (or a place with access to increasing levels of support).
PILs live in a house with lovely countryside views but it only adds to their current isolation and lack of interaction, even being able to wave at a neighbour driving past would have been an improvement.