When you get very very old...

[Redandgreenribbons]

...What is your plan?

I mean when you are in your late years like in your late 80s or 90s(if you lucky enough to reach this age).

I am wondering when and if you have about your days that you may be unable to cook, to shop, to bath.

And to make it harder, let's assume that you don't have anymore your other half to support you.

Even if you own a house and you get a pension, will it be enough? Will you be financially sustainable to live a decent life before your end if you are unable to look after yourself?

What is your plan? This thought really worries me although I am still very young...

My mum lives in one and everyone that lives there says they wish they hadn't waited until their 80s to move there

That’s nice to know 😊
(only in my late 40s currently so still a bit early for me)

Take up an opium habit and act generally disgracefully. Laugh when I fart....

Same. We actually have a care home fund. I’m pretty sure that’s where I’ll finish up if I live long enough.

I'll probably get dementia as all my grandparents had it so I'll hopefully be the slightly muddled sweet old lady everyone loves & wants to look after in the care home.

Or else the shouty grumpy one...

My Nan is late 80s, housebound now and has been a widow for over 20 years. Doesn't own property (social housing flat). She has a carer 5/7 days for a hour, half of which she has to pay out of her pension but as she doesn't go out, she doesn't really spend any money so is certainly not poor and starving.

I am planning to buy myself a very small, ground floor flat in Hampstead, fitting it with all the possible old person fittings and going swimming in the Highgate Ladies' pond every day, and once a week going by taxi into town to walk very slowly round an art gallery and then have lunch at the Wolseley.

(This is what a friend of mine did- I met her swimming and she was completely wonderful and carried on with her lovely life well into her 90s.)

That sounds like heaven. I’d absolutely love that.

@LindyLou2020 , I live in the Middle East and there’s no such thing as a care home or retirement home here. People go through life knowing they’ll care for those in the family who’ll need looked after. Extended family living is still quite a big thing and it’s just an extension of that. People build their home from scratch here and there is always accommodation within the home for at least one set of parents. In fact one of my girls has just built a new family home and there is one very nice room and en-suite for me and another one for her mother in law facing out to the pool with a nice view of the garden. Me and Bibi laugh about getting up to nonsense and being sent to our room till we learn how to behave.

When old age becomes intolerable I plan on using Dignitas, if still around.

My mother had an utterly miserable end-of-life experience and there's no way on earth I will do the same if there's another option.

I'm also hoping for Dignitas being available here.

We are currently managing PIL aged 83 and 88. They are both getting very frail and forgetful.

We have hopefully sold their house and are buying a sheltered apartment near us. However MIL seems to have deteriorated during the process so we are having doubts.

Do you know how much a retirement home cost vs a carer at home?

I can tell you about Cheshire! For sheltered accommodation you buy the flat and it is £700 a month to cover communal maintenance, a warden and 1.5 hours cleaning a week.

A carer popping in is £30 an hour; a live in carer about £1100 a week through an agency, and care homes vary between £900 and £1400 a week per person. It is an expensive business!!

I'll think about it when/if I get there!

One of those retirement villages looks nice!

What I won't do is whinge on about ailments and being old to the extent that none of my kids, nieces, nephews and friends avoid seeing me.

I hope they will come over for a cup of tea and a biscuit and tell me all about their lives.

I may not get grandchildren but it is my plan to offer free babysitting for other people's babies/kids for as long as I am able to. And crochet baby stuff. I love kids.

I've told my dc's to build me a granny annexe with room for a carer. They just have to stick their head around the door every so often.

I do have to move out of this house though. Split level isn't going to work for stairifts and it's a very isolated neighbourhood.

Sadly, I suspect that with the economy and care system both shot to pieces, we won't have to worry about this. First sign of deteriorating health and it'll be "no quality of life, let them die in peace". It frightens me, but I think that's where we're heading

I too am planning to start a drug habit and smoke lots of weed and have a grand old time. Im here for a good time not a long time.

No way am I sitting in my own pee’d pant’s waiting for someone to spoon mush into me for months never mind years on end whilst everything ive worked for goes down the drain

If you want to make God laugh, make plans

Sincerely hope u are right

An aunt who was in a care home had a bill of around £150k by the time she died and her house could be sold (around 4 years) and there are much more expensive care homes than hers was.

I am not intending to hang around once I cease to be independent. I have no wish to be a burden on my children or on society generally. I can't see the point in living on in pain and can't bear the thought of the lack of dignity.

Euthanasia hopefully!

Maybe I will sell the house and bugger off somewhere hot.

Otherwise I'll do what my grandma does, downsize, socialise and enjoy life. (She's just discovered McDonald's hot apple pies at 92...)

My plan is to give all my money to my children in good time so I have 0 savings the government can fund my care home.

I'm 59, single and mum of two.. i dont want to burden them or risk losing their only tiny inheritance, so i plan to take a long walk off a short cliff.

I won’t care when I’ve died. I’m not staying in an unsuitable house, just so I can pass it on to my DC. I want a comfortable, easy & sociable old age & a retirement flat will help me achieve that.