When you get very very old...

[Redandgreenribbons]

...What is your plan?

I mean when you are in your late years like in your late 80s or 90s(if you lucky enough to reach this age).

I am wondering when and if you have about your days that you may be unable to cook, to shop, to bath.

And to make it harder, let's assume that you don't have anymore your other half to support you.

Even if you own a house and you get a pension, will it be enough? Will you be financially sustainable to live a decent life before your end if you are unable to look after yourself?

What is your plan? This thought really worries me although I am still very young...

Because most of the population do not and it’s a massive issue.

In my old work in care there were so many old lonely people in their 90s living horrible lives. People who had had fantastic, elaborate lives before everyone around them died and they got stuck in their homes. It’s beyond depressing.

Was wondering that myself.

Well if I can look after myself - stay at home. If I can’t - care home.

The care home costs will have to be funded my house.

I've protected myself as much as I can financially, via a pension, so at least I'll always have a roof over my head and pay my bills. As for what happens if get something like dementia (as my Mum did), fuck knows. My dh is 9 years older than me so chances are he'll go first, what happens if I can't walk up stairs or look after myself, I really don't know. I've got 1 dd but I don't want her hanging around in case it does happen, let's hope our social care improves eh.

I think you are right to give this some consideration. People in my age group can find themselves without owning a home due to separation and it comes as a shock. Unable to afford getting back into the market again in the same area and banks putting the squeeze on the more mature generation as to how much they can borrow… and rents costing so much without long term security of it remaining your home.

just recently we lost our lovely tenant who went back to an unsatisfactory relationship after he left and the family home sold. She deserves so much more…

Sheltered housing.

I think I'd be lonely at home alone, but value my own space.

My family pattern is to live into 80s/ 90s, in a gradual physical decline while becoming more cantankerous. Mumble about downsizing into a more appropriate property in your 60s and do nothing about it until you realise that you've gone past being able to do anything about it.

At least our house and location are old age/ poor health friendly.

There's no point in being too regimented about plans that are decades away and have a multitude of un/poorly controlled paths. We spend well, save well, and have assets. That gives us options down the road for whatever may come to pass.

I expect to retire in 10 years on pretty much the same income as I am now. I intend to help dd as much as possible over the next 10 years in terms of her housing security, and should she have children to assist her to remain in her career for her financial stability. I also know she will inherit from other family members in due course.
DS is a millionaire and perfectly content that his younger sister will receive more help.
So I hope to retire without thought to their inheritance. Therefore I should like a few good years of fun in the sun, a few quiet years of watching daytime telly and a change in the law so that I can opt out of the game when I decide to. I already have a letter of wishes that they are aware of, in case of illness or accident, that details what I consider to be quality of life and the circumstances in which I want no heroic measures taken and LPAs ready to go.
The earlier you have these conversations and deal with this crap, the less emotions come into play and once it's sorted, forget all about it.

I think it’s sensible to plan financially. If you can. I’ll be ok financially as I have a good pension. But who knows if I’ll get that far. I’m not thinking too far into the future

Many of my friends are in their 70s and 80s and all of them are in their own homes, mostly as widows. They manage to live active and meaningful lives, despite health problems. I am nearly 70 and DH is in his 70s and we manage a big rural garden and participate in lots of activities. If one of us becomes unable to continue to live where we do, then we'll sell up and buy a more convenient house with a small garden. Keeping going and living a good life in old age is partly a matter of luck, and good health, but it's also to do with attitude and resilience. Stay positive and cheerful and active and don't give in to moaning about the 'good old days' when everything was so much better (it wasn't, believe me!)

@MakingNBaking blimey stealth post much ?? Your son is a millionaire and your dd will also inherit from family. Christ if only I could be in this position !

When my parents retired, they sold their modest home and used much of the proceeds to go on the Orient Express or such-like then moved to a warden-aided rental flat. When dad was widowed, he spent many evenings at the British Legion drinking and having a good time. He died of a rare cancer in hospital in his mid-nineties. Stubbornly independent, he needed help but refused it.

OTOH, my ILs stayed in their bungalow. When MIL was widowed, she travelled until ill health put a stop to it. Dementia meant she had to go into a care home (very much against her will) which she hated, and she passed way within a year. Before going into the home, she had a terrible time as she just couldn't manage and was a great worry to BIL. She hated getting older and was very miserable.

I hope there's a reasonable solution somewhere between the two. I'd say that dad had a better time of it, overall, as health has a lot to do with it.

@lollipoprainbow jealous much? The question was asked and she answered

I’ll see out my days living with my severely disabled son in the house that was custom built for both of us. It also accommodates the 5 carers who live on site and help me look after him. And when the time comes and I need looking after they’ll look after me as well. That said, the house was also built for extended family living and I’m told my children have made plans so that there will always be one of them here with us and when I’m gone they’ll be here with my son as well. If it ever becomes too dangerous for me to be here then all of my children have made provision in their homes for any of the older family members who need taken care of. It’s the way it is where I live.

@JudgeRindersMinder yes I am

Sorry, how do I plan to spend my time? Well, that would be traveling and spending as much time with my children and grandchildren as possible.

I'm counting on a brisk heart attack after a night of sexual excess with my 23-year-old tomboy.

@CrunchyCarrot ((big gentle hug))

I hope your toy boy stays well & is able to look after you for a very long time while you're getting enjoyment out of life!!

@SkylightSkylight Aww thank you for saying that! I hope he does too! 😊

Well this is really depressing...

My plan, once I can no longer live independently, is to not live at all.

@MrsThimbles You say it's the way it is where you live. May I ask where you live?

Similar field, similar length of service. Pills n liquor appeal.

OP, I didn't spend my youth worrying about my old age and I've no intention as I approach 60 to be making it the centre of my life now. I'll be as sensible as possible, eg not moving to a remote countryside hideaway with no transport links, but in the words of the great Joe Strummer (dead at 50) the future is unwritten. It is also, with one big exception at the end, unknowable.

Hope Labour have sorted out social care!