To be embarrassed only 30 of 80+ guests turned up to my birthday party

[Muddleofpud]

Just that really, had a party this weekend, 80+ guests confirmed, only about 30 turned up. Feel embarrassed and let down. Help me get over the cringe 😩

30 is a great number!

It happens. It’s winter. People CBA going out, and they’re skint too. I also think close friends you see regularly tend to turn up to these things - you can’t have 80 friends that close? Or was it a big family?

What age have you turned?

That seems a reasonable enough number to me. Did you have a good time? Maybe focus on that rather than the numbers.

It’s not a reasonable number if say the OP has hired a function room with food based on eighty guests turning up.

I’m sorry OP. This has happened to me before and it is why I just don’t like organising stuff like this. I had a few pull out of my hen do (very low key!) last minute too. It’s rubbish.

I turned 50, thanks for your responses, I think I just felt like that number of people was just rattling about in the size of venue I had, but you’re right, it’s more about who was there, not how many.
I did have fun yes, I was just so worried prior to the day that hardly anyone would turn up that it kind of became more important to me than it should have been

They should be embarrassed for being no shows. I find people very flaky these days. I hope you had a good time regardless

Happy Birthday op!!
don’t worry about those who weren’t there…
Hope you enjoyed your celebration!

That is so not on for confirms not to turn up. A text at the least to say why.
I'm not buying the skint bit unless it was short notice/ridiculous dress code.

No dress code etc, so no reason to no show in that respect. I’m actually very chuffed that I’m getting responses to my post at this time of night/morning! Thanks for reassuring me I’m not a complete loser!

Happy birthday OP!
It was rude of people not to show up without saying they weren't coming.
The pandemic has made so many people incredibly lazy and antisocial. People just want to stay in and half watch something on some crap platform while scrolling through their phones rather than going out. It's got nothing to do with the cost of living crisis. Peoples cultural habits have changed (recent studies have confirmed this).
It's miserable.

Happy 50th! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

It's crap. People are crap. They are flaky and crap. I'm definitely not having a party for my 50th, and it's not even in the winter.

I think it’s a bit naive if you think this didn’t happen pre 2020 and that in 2019 the place would have been crammed full.

It happened to me in 2014, and I’ve seen any number of posts throughout the years describing similar experiences. People tend to think it will be fine as everyone else is going but so many people do it that it isn’t fine.

It was a thing for me in my early twenties. You’d arrange a night out with six or seven people then from midday on Saturday there would be texts about sorry can’t make it - but hope you have a great night. Erm, yes, sitting in on my own 😂

I was ‘early twenties’ in 2002-2004 so definitely a long time before covid!

Were 50 of the 80 people just random people you've met? Or do people actually know 80 significant people? 😯

Read the OP's OP.

There were 80 who confirmed they'd attend.

That doesn't answer my question.

I'm sure the OP will make this clear.

Happy Birthday OP!

It’s definitely not great that the No-shows didn’t let you know. On the one hand I can get/imagine the various reasons - cost, crap weather, kids ill, let down by babysitter, transport buggered, etc. But it’s really not on if any of them haven’t sent a quick text/WA to let you know.

Glad you had a good time with the good turnout that you had there. If it involved dancing, hope your feet aren’t too sore tomorrow!

Happy birthday! And yes it's rubbish when people don't turn up. If you don't want to come just say!

I actually don't know many people who have had huge venue type 50th birthday partys, mainly meals etc, with family.

Maybe I'm odd.

Happy birthday.

50 people were no shows?! That's awful I'm so sorry, op.

I think you need to rethink your friends! I'm glad you had a good time anyway and happy birthday :)

They are the ones who should be embarrassed. They said they would come then didn't. Unless they have a good reason then you've found out who your true friends are, and who to focus your efforts on. I'm sorry that happened.

That is out of order. If they had told you earlier you could have invited other people

My cousin had her 50th birthday party at a posh London hotel. She had sent out invitations for fifty people( it was a sit down dinner) and given everyone six months notice.
On the day of the party five people cancelled and ten didn’t show up. So not only did she have people missing on the tables she had paid for a three course meal that they didn’t eat. She was really upset because if she had known earlier she could have invited others.

Op, I know that it is upsetting but at least you had a great time.
Happy birthday

People are flakey and hopeless, that is not on you OP. 30 people is a good number of friends and those that didn’t show should be embarrassed, not you.

These life experiences are there for us to make choices about who we spend our time with going forward, IMO.

Many Happy Returns!

they are rudei don't know 80 people or even 30, that I would want to invite to a birthday party

It is they who should be embarrassed. Happy Birthday. Get some new friends and cherish the 30 who did turn up.

Happy Birthday @Muddleofpud!
I'm glad you had a great Celebration. 🎉🎁🎂🍾