To think if you invite someone over for Christmas

[Jerryyyyyy]

That means you'll serve Christmas dinner?

I live quite far away from family - same country, half a day drive away. They have come to us for most christmasses. We have space for them to stay but they don't have space for us so logistically it's always made more sense. They've decided they don't want to come anymore, which is fine. It can be intense here, a lot of family from the other side. DH always cooks a huge Christmas Dinner.

This year they've made arrangements so that we can go to them for Xmas and we will have somewhere to stay. We're thinking of driving down on Xmas day so that we xan do prezzies with our DC at home. Will prob be with them by 3 at the latest and will stay a couple of nights. Found out today they think we're only there for the afternoon and so they're not cooking Christmas Dinner which means we won't have one!

Hmm I would have thought we were getting dinner there too. Me personally, I'd have Christmas dinner at home, and travel down there on boxing day instead.

I think if someone is inviting you for Christmas that means lunch.the lunch is Christmas!

I’m amazed at all the people saying 3pm is late! We normally aim for 4.30 and I would be annoyed if people came much before 3pm. So much prep, tidying, plus a foray to my mum’s to get done before then. I couldn’t imagine eating such a big meal so early, and the pressure of getting stuff in the oven while kids are trying to open pressies.

OP I would also expect Christmas dinner if I had made the effort to travel down. There is plenty of time for them to get sorted.

Clearly down to extremely poor communication, like so many threads on here.

You plan to stay several days, they think you are there for just one.

Just talk to them. Ask if it is possible to have the Xmas meal in the evening so that you can do presents etc with family at home before leaving to theirs. They probably aren't mind readers so just talk about it.

Yes we eat dinner ‘late’ too - always have since I am Danish and that’s how it’s done there. I carried it on when I moved here - It’s much nicer IMO as the day is nice and chilled and you don’t have to be up at a ridiculous hour to get the roast on! I can get up, have a leisurely brunch, spend half the day getting mildly merry and get on with dinner when I feel like it; it’s ready when it’s ready.

But if people are used to having Christmas lunch then of course it’s going to seem all wrong to them...

Anyway, I hope OP finds a good solution (if she hasn’t already).

@Jerryyyyyy are you both off on Christmas Eve? You could do your own Christmas dinner, then you could bring leftovers the next day for sandwiches. Apologies if that’s already been discussed, I had read the thread a couple of days ago but I’m sure there’s been developments since.

OP lives at the other end of the country, 6 hours drive away.

You would expect them to either have to drive all day (utterly miserable idea) or spend until 3pm in a hotel etc... thats some shit christmas hosting that doesnt consider the guest needs at all.

@mam0918 For starters it’s a few hours drive - not the other end of the country.

Secondly who said it was a hotel? Could just be a friends house, AirBNB anything.
Thirdly Op is happy that the family members have put themselves out to decamp to hers every year.

We visit with my parents (7 hours drive away) or his parents (3.5 hours away) ever since the kids were little. Go Christmas Eve, stay in rented accommodation. We take food and cook for his because they are getting on a bit. Lovely.
Literally what people do all over the country.

I think you missed the point. If OP is driving 6 hours as a host I would be grateful she made the effort and make sure dinner was available.

in our house people come in and out all day, normally a couple of rounds of present opening. But dinner isn’t till 4.30. If people are staying then they pitch in. If they expect me to run after them then I don’t have time during the day.

What on earth are you on about?

First half a day is not a few hours, half a day is 6 hours and it only takes 5 hours from Newcastle to London (opposit ends of the country).

Second I said Hotel etc... doesnt matter if its an AirB&B or something else, it down right rude to invite someone for christmas, have them travel 6 hours then not allow them to enter the house before 3pm.

Third OP invited them, they didn't have to 'put themselves out' and she opened her home to them the whole time with them staying, she didnt ban them from the house for most of the day.

@Caplin But the hosts have organised accommodation so they can do Christmas morning together.
Frankly if I had to drive ( made up by other posters ) 6 hours every other year to the Ops and stay with them and their “ intense” in laws, I’d be really pissed off if the Op turn is rocking up late on Christmas Day with their everyone expecting the Christmas dinner with trimmings. Especially if there were less of us ( Op says it too much for one person).
Just be honest and say you don’t want to visit your dad/ mum/ brother in his small house because it’s not worth the effort.

Really? We always eat dinner between 5-6 on Christmas. Aim to get the turkey out of the oven 4:30-5.

Well, you think wrong. It's not like "lunch" is set in stone for everyone. And in OP's case, there is no lunch OR dinner on offer.

Literally didn't. Sorry, you couldn;t follow a failry simple thread....

I think if you’ve hosted Xmas dinner for them for countless years & they dint want to cook, then they could book a restaurant & take you out.

Talk to them, maybe just see them another time. Sounds like a disappointing hassle, but not worth losing friends over

xxxx

Dont go. Stay home.
i really dont get this travelling for hours for Christmas. Stay home with the kids and have YOUR Christmas.

I think it’s actually much easier being “the host” in your own house than the person having to do a long drive and staying as a guest in someone else’s.