To think if you invite someone over for Christmas

[Jerryyyyyy]

That means you'll serve Christmas dinner?

I live quite far away from family - same country, half a day drive away. They have come to us for most christmasses. We have space for them to stay but they don't have space for us so logistically it's always made more sense. They've decided they don't want to come anymore, which is fine. It can be intense here, a lot of family from the other side. DH always cooks a huge Christmas Dinner.

This year they've made arrangements so that we can go to them for Xmas and we will have somewhere to stay. We're thinking of driving down on Xmas day so that we xan do prezzies with our DC at home. Will prob be with them by 3 at the latest and will stay a couple of nights. Found out today they think we're only there for the afternoon and so they're not cooking Christmas Dinner which means we won't have one!

sounds strange to me
very lazy of them,
they eat at yours but wont cook when you are coming!

Regardless of whether they travel Christmas Day or Boxing Day the children are going to want to play with gifts. That said the whole dinner situation is odd. It wouldn’t surprise me if there’s nothing on Boxing Day either.

Have you had them every year for dinner? The whole Christmas experience?

Then they should be doing the same for you, this year.

We work the timing of Christmas dinner around our guests and we’ve had it at all odd hours due to nieces having to split the day between divorced parents. So it sounds rude not to wait for you. However it also sounds like a rubbish Christmas Day for your family to spend it in the car so I’d just go on Boxing Day.

They make their choices accordingly. Either leave earlier to get there for lunch, or eat Kuch at home and go after. They don't get to dictate when someone else cooks a meal because they want to turn up really late in the day, that's such a bizarre and rude expectation.

We are saying it's odd and rude to turn up at 3pm expecting a full Christmas lunch, obviously I'd expect dinner to be provided, but that's a buffet or sandwiches, or pasta, as the main meal happened earlier in our house. Guests arriving at 3 would be catered for but they would have missed the traditional festive meal.

It’s not odd and rude to expect a full Christmas dinner after 3pm if they eat their Christmas dinner after 3pm, like many people do.
irrelevant here though, as they don’t cook a Christmas dinner at all. So it wouldn’t matter what time they turned up, they wouldn’t get Christmas dinner.

Your hosting sounds ideal as you’d cater for your guests which is what the majority of earlier diners would do. Except the OPs potential hosts apparently.

This made me properly laugh! 😂

They've been invited to travel for half a day to visit for the afternoon but they're NOT cooking christmas dinner AT ALL and they can't stay over. Bye!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🤦‍♀️

Sounds to me like they don't want you to visit.

Have they said why they don't want to come to yours anymore? What family members are they ffs?

Ha Ha - love this answer!

Hmmm, let me think about this for just two seconds ....

Why are you even going??
Seriously, you'll spend hours in the car to drive to people that aren't even going to cook Christmas lunch/dinner?
I'd be staying at home, without a doubt!

Omg tell em to jog on. They expect you to drive all the way there, on Christmas Day, and not have a roast dinner to eat? I’d not be going! End of!

I'm with you lookoutkid and op. I've spent years not doing dinner til afternoon because people went to the pub first or someone had to work . Don't know why 3pm Is such an issue Better late than never as they say , or at least if ops family want to eat sooner at least save op some dinner rather than not do it at all sounds like they using it as an excuse not to again as op always done it

‘Come on Christmas Day if you like but we’re not having a Christmas dinner’ is the kind of madly passive-aggressive suggestion you get on a long-running AIBU for an OP who can’t tell her in-laws that she doesn’t actually want them there.

You should arrive by 1pm for Christmas Day. Be nearly dark by the time you arrive!

We eat ours around 3 but drinks and chat beforehand.

So what? It’s unlikely that they’ll be eating in the garden.

That's ridiculous. They must know by now, how long the journey is and that it's not worthwhile going for the afternoon and NO CHRISTMAS DINNER.
I recommend that you say "No thank you, we'll pass". What a crazy idea.

It’s just a bit bleak and depressing. Arriving in the dark on Christmas Eve, the house lit up = magical. Arriving late afternoon on Christmas Day a scant few hours before the kids are put to bed and most of the day is gone and you’ve done the Christmassy bits elsewhere anyway and everyone’s crabby from spending all their daylight hours in the car = gloomy.

How odd, when do they serve Christmas dinner? I normally serve it at around 3pm. Anyway, if the plans mean you won’t be getting dinner then I simply wouldn't go.

The inability of people on here to appreciate that people are differeant always amazes.
As if for all of us Xmas day is nearly over at 3pm?! How bizarre. We're only starting. Kids aren't put to bed at 6.30pm on Xmas, they stay up late playing with their cousins, the whole family eats and drinks and plays music and sings, and plays board games and cards.

We're not all slumped on the couch watching some god awful mrs browns boys xmas special or some crap, crying into a baileys and mainlining Quality St, you know.

Yeah, at 3pm, most of the CHristmas is left to have. It's not finished!

But aren’t you doing the same to me? We’re all just sharing our views on Christmas Day and to me, it would be bleak to miss out on daylight and a big walk.

Not sure where Mrs Brown’s Boys, crying and Bailey’s come into it, nor slumping on a “couch”; doesn’t sound anything like my Christmas. But extrapolate as you will!

No, of course I'm not doing the same to you, I'm presenting another side. Other people again will have totally differnent days. Its' the whole tone of this thread, as if your "over by 4pm" notion is somehow the standard. It's so weird.

And why the fuck is couch in commas? Even weirder.