To think if you invite someone over for Christmas

[Jerryyyyyy]

That means you'll serve Christmas dinner?

I live quite far away from family - same country, half a day drive away. They have come to us for most christmasses. We have space for them to stay but they don't have space for us so logistically it's always made more sense. They've decided they don't want to come anymore, which is fine. It can be intense here, a lot of family from the other side. DH always cooks a huge Christmas Dinner.

This year they've made arrangements so that we can go to them for Xmas and we will have somewhere to stay. We're thinking of driving down on Xmas day so that we xan do prezzies with our DC at home. Will prob be with them by 3 at the latest and will stay a couple of nights. Found out today they think we're only there for the afternoon and so they're not cooking Christmas Dinner which means we won't have one!

speech marks even

It’s a conversation. One person says it’ll be dark on OP’s arrival, someone else says why does that matter, I explain why it would matter to me and my Christmas – speaking purely for myself – suddenly I’m someone who watches Mrs Brown’s Boys.

(Apologies for the quote marks! That was pure snobbery as a response to the affront about Mrs Brown’s Boys, Bailey’s and Quality Street. Shudder to them all.)

It not all about you. As my comment made clear, yours was just one of many comments about how things are done and why OP was far too late at 3pm., which is obviously a nonsensical assumption. Your was just the last before mine, and easiest to quote. You didn't say anything about your personal Xmas, you commented as a generalisation about how it would be "gloomy" and the kis being on their way to bed....

Some of the Xmases described on this thread sound beyond dismal.

OK. But if you quote someone of course it’s about them. Anyway, merry Christmas.

No, it isn't.

Also, it's November. Why would you say Merry Christmas

You’re right, you definitely sound like someone who throws a fun Christmas. You’ve been an absolute hoot on this thread. Happy holidays to you!

There would be no Christmas dinner for guests arriving at 3 here. It would be done and dusted by 2:30 at the latest with everything washed up and put away so we could go out for a walk.

Giving the kids their presents and then not letting them play with them because they are stuck in the car half the day seems daft.

Pot meat Kettle lol.

You LITRALLY just belittled someone for doing things different to you.

*meet

Do you not specifically discuss this level of detail when making plans?!
it amazes me these Sven at one up sometime later!

Is this a reverse?

"AIBU to think that if you invite someone to stay for Christmas that they'd turn up before 3pm on Xmas day?"

If I'd invited you form half a day's drive away I'd expect you'd be coming on Xmas eve. 3pm is food coma time in my house, no way (with my own/dh's family would we delay lunch until after 3pm!

FWIW I've lived most of my adult life 200 miles away from my family. When I go 'home' for Christmas I fit in with my host's plans, not get affronted that they do things differently to me.

I think if someone invites you for Christmas Day you arrive by mid morning.

Having said that it's odd they don't cook Christmas lunch at all!

I'd go the next day

I think people are missing the point that Op and her family don’t have to drive half a day but are deciding if the children should have Christmas morning at home. They actually staying nearby for a few days.

My experience is that kids are quite open to Father Christmas finding them on holiday. Christmas is all about doing things in a different and hopefully nicer way. I drive up Christmas Eve, bring Christmas dinner with, to cook at theirs and have a nice couple of days.
The family have always had to do the visiting and Op admits her own Christmas’s are a bit intense/ busy. I’d make the effort to fit in with them this year.

Champagne 😂 I'm so sorry your royal Highness.... Twat

3 is late to be arriving and expecting a dinner! Go Boxing Day instead.

I think it’s quite rude to arrive at 3. Do stockings at home then take presents, arrive before lunch time. What time do they arrive when they come to you?

I think it’s a classic case of not taking the hint because other wise It all doesn’t make sense. They have been to OPs every year previously. The reason they stayed over is because they do know how far away she lives.

Could it be that they don’t want OP and her child to visit nor do they want to go to yours? They want a Christmas alone but don’t want to come directly out and say it (maybe so as not to hurt your feelings as you have kindly had them previous years) and You just aren’t taking the hint.

I mean….. drive for several hours, no dinner, open your gifts and then drive back for several
hours….. pretty clear….. stay in your own home.

just stay at home with your DH and daughter and say in a light hearted way you won’t bother them this year because you may want a quiet Christmas at home but thanks so much for the gifts. If they really insist you go then just say can you cook a bit extra for us. And if they don’t insist then you know they want to be alone.
don’t be offended by that. Sometimes the every year doing the same is a drag especially if you never usually get to stay home and slob out in pyjamas.

And please, if they do the oh no please come….. it may only be out of curtesy. I really think it’s already obvious.

We used to have family round for Christmas Dinner and other family would come round later in the afternoon afterwards. Whichever worked for them tbh. If someone told me that they wanted to open presents at home in the morning and wouldn’t be arriving until 3pm, then I’d assume that they didn’t want to eat Christmas dinner with us, as our “dinner” is at lunch time.
I can see that you’re rethinking your plans now, but why don’t you travel down on Christmas Eve and go there for lunch, or stay home for Christmas and travel down on Boxing Day?

@Kattiekat Sorry but you’re making stuff up. Op has said her family have found them accommodation this year. They clearly want Op and her family to visit.
They have made the effort every other year to go and stay with the Op ( because she has room) despite their Christmas being intense.

Op is still being rude by not suggesting turning up until 3pm even though they can stay nearby.
Op says they don’t “do” Christmas dinner but how can they when they are at hers every year? I wouldn’t organise accommodation and then have the guests saying they’ll swan in at 3pm expecting dinner. Either do the whole Christmas together ( like they’ve had to) or don’t bother.

Boxing Day , or tell them you won’t of eaten see what they say, I don’t think 3pm is late to then have Christmas dinner at 4/5 ish ? Personally couldn’t be eating a massive dinner at actual lunch time though I know people do ! I think it’s the length of time driving that would bother me more

Sunday morning earliness. Didn’t see the place to stay part.

Sorry, haven't read all the thread, just want to say Boxing Day is the worst day to travel, unfeasibly busy, mad traffic.
I wouldn't drive a long distance on Boxing day.