To think if you invite someone over for Christmas

[Jerryyyyyy]

That means you'll serve Christmas dinner?

I live quite far away from family - same country, half a day drive away. They have come to us for most christmasses. We have space for them to stay but they don't have space for us so logistically it's always made more sense. They've decided they don't want to come anymore, which is fine. It can be intense here, a lot of family from the other side. DH always cooks a huge Christmas Dinner.

This year they've made arrangements so that we can go to them for Xmas and we will have somewhere to stay. We're thinking of driving down on Xmas day so that we xan do prezzies with our DC at home. Will prob be with them by 3 at the latest and will stay a couple of nights. Found out today they think we're only there for the afternoon and so they're not cooking Christmas Dinner which means we won't have one!

We have Christmas Dinner late afternoon/ early evening so we can use the daylight for something like a walk. Having it at lunch time kills the daytime and makes for a very long evening.

Spending half the day travelling and not having a Christmas Dinner is a lot work and little reward for it and may as well be done on a different day over the festive period.

3 o’clock is a perfect arrival time , we don’t eat Christmas dinner till 5/6 , it’s not as if they’ll be doing much else on Christmas Day so lots of time to prep dinner

The whole situation sounds mad. I think I’d probably knock the idea in the head and stay home for Christmas.

What is their plan for lunch and supper ? Meal out , pizzas , takeaway. Find out and then decide if you want to join in.

I wouldn't expect someone to turn up at 3pm! We've eaten our Christmas lunch by then so I'd expect them to have sorted their own lunch/brunch and they could have some nibbles then wait for dinner.

The OP is at fault here for wanting to arrive at the arse end of the day and then be given a full lunch.

We eat Xmas dinner at 3pm. According to threads on MN a lot of people do the same or even later.
if your relatives do not like turkey, stuffing and Yorkshire puddings it’s fine but it does sound like they don’t plan to feed you at all which is strange especially after all these years when they happily ate at yours.
I would clarify with them but don’t go in a round about way, ask them directly what they’ve meant. In the past our guests usually asked: what time you are serving lunch and so what time do you want us to arrive? Do this and then their reaction will tell you everything.

Am I understanding you correctly that your dps don’t intend cooking Christmas lunch regardless of what time you arrive? That is quite odd. I’d definitely wait until Boxing Day in that case.

I think if someone was arriving after about 2.30 I’d assume they would have eaten lunch already and I’d expect to serve a high tea (turkey sandwiches, trifle etc). What time do your family normally eat? We are definitely closer to 1pm than 3, mainly because we have young kids who go crazy if they don’t eat lunch at a decent time. I’d also say either get there earlier if you want lunch, or go on Boxing Day (or just go for tea- I prefer it to Turkey and the trimmings anyway!).

Found out today they think we're only there for the afternoon

What time do they think you are leaving? When are you actually leaving?
How long will it take you to get there?
What time do you/normally eat dinner?

Do they not know you are staying the night?

They’re not cooking a Christmas meal at all, it isn’t that the Op is missing it and could get there earlier to be there.

It’s just a miscommunication. It can be sorted out. If you want to eat with them at lunch time you’ll have to travel there on 24th. If not, go on Boxing Day.

Don’t make your children spend several hours in the car on Christmas Day, whatever happens.

What time does everyone eat Christmas Dinner?! I assumed 3-4pm was fairly standard but apparently not!

Not sure why you want to spend most of your Christmas Day in the car tbh. Is that really worth it just so you can open your presents at home in the morning? Just drive down on Christmas Eve and have a relaxed Christmas Day and a nice Christmas Dinner with your family.

Going on the day itself is shit for the kids. Where are you staying if not with them?

We have ours at about 6pm, which is the same time that we eat dinner most days!

Just go boxing day.

We don't cook a Christmas dinner either. We order curries the night before and get load of nice nibbles in. Christmas in the kitchen would do my head in.

Simply explain that you misunderstood and cancel or postpone. Put your kids first (not that you don’t 😊) and don’t subject them to long, boring car journeys on Christmas Day.

You make a fair point!

I would expect Christmas dinner if I was staying somewhere for all of Christmas Day, so waking up there and going to sleep there. I wouldn’t expect it if I was having the morning at home, turning up at 3pm and presumably leaving again to stay elsewhere later in the evening, you’re not going to them for Christmas, you’re just popping in on Christmas Day. In my family Christmas dinner is usually at about 2pm anyway so a guest turning up at 3pm would be very inconvenient!

Could you go on Boxing Day instead and have Christmas dinner at home?

Family have actually said they NEVER cook Christmas Dinner,

So, go on Boxing Day.

We prefer to eat Christmas dinner at lunchtime rather than mid afternoon or evening, but it tends not to be before 1pm. As there are only three of us at Christmas the prep and cooking of the meal is pretty relaxed, and it is ready when it's ready.

@lookoutkid Alright, mate, good for you. Would say the thread is in closer alignment with my feeling that 3pm is a bit of an antisocial time to turn up on Christmas day but, you have at it.

Because the family came to see Op every other year? It’s a bit off to expect people to drive to visit you every year and then when it’s your turn say you can’t be arsed.

What I’d do is go for Christmas Eve- more “Christmassy” that way - drive home late and do regular Christmas at yours…