To think if you invite someone over for Christmas

[Jerryyyyyy]

That means you'll serve Christmas dinner?

I live quite far away from family - same country, half a day drive away. They have come to us for most christmasses. We have space for them to stay but they don't have space for us so logistically it's always made more sense. They've decided they don't want to come anymore, which is fine. It can be intense here, a lot of family from the other side. DH always cooks a huge Christmas Dinner.

This year they've made arrangements so that we can go to them for Xmas and we will have somewhere to stay. We're thinking of driving down on Xmas day so that we xan do prezzies with our DC at home. Will prob be with them by 3 at the latest and will stay a couple of nights. Found out today they think we're only there for the afternoon and so they're not cooking Christmas Dinner which means we won't have one!

Option 1 - go Xmas eve
option 2 - go boxing day
options 3 - communicate that you will still be wanting to eat Xmas dinner if you come Xmas day - that does seem a of a nightmare all round tbh - I would go Boxing Day

They might be one of these families that do 'picky bits' or a indian/chinese etc... take away or they might be planning to go out at 12-1 to a pub resteraunt for dinner and OP wouldnt be there by then.

Theres plenty of ways people don't cook christmas dinner.

Spending the best part of Christmas Day sitting in a car sounds like such fun.

Yes, but ………. surely they eat something?

If its that far I'd be inclined to go the night before then ask if you can join them for dinner.

I think it's naff if they've gone to the effort of making space for you to not even go until dinner time (and tbh, we'd be well into out main course by 3pm) so they probably feel like it's a waste of time and you're just going to turn up, eat, open presents and go to bed. It's a bit rubbish.

So I think you need to go the day before or a different day entirely. New years eve?

Does platter/buffet of party foods, take away or a resteraunt meal no long class as food you eat anymore?

Id be suprised if instead of eating the food they shove it up their arse, then Im with you that would be an unusual xmas tradition.

Because it’ll be dark within an hour, the day is basically done! If you’re going to someone’s house for Christmas, tradition would have you being there for Christmas.

Have they said what the actual plans for food are?

I wouldn't go. Just visit them before or a few days after Christmas. They don't sound that bothered about you visiting so I think that gives you a guilt-free way out.

Why does it matter if it’s dark? Most people spend most of Christmas Day inside anyway, don’t they? It’s cold out.
3pm would be the perfect time for guests to arrive to ours for Christmas. It would mean I had the morning relaxing with my kids and playing with their presents etc, then eat at 6ish.

Sounds like a, tokenistic offer to you knowing you're too far to accept or that if you do you'll be someone else's guest and they can just put on coffee and mince pies for a few hours.

No way would I drive half the day with three kids on Xmas Day. I think that's really unfair. I'd go down BD at earliest

@WaddleAway Do they? Everyone I know does a Big Walk. Or at least drags the DC to the park/playground.

I said ‘most’ of the day. We usually go for a walk, but around 11ish. It gets dark at 4pm all winter, surely that doesn’t mean that between October and March the day is over at 4pm?

There’s so many people saying that arriving at 3 is late. I usually plan to eat around 3 but it usually ends up about 4pm so you’d be fed here. I can’t believe there’s not even a turkey sandwich. Even if I’m not doing Christmas dinner I still buy a turkey for sandwiches.

Same, we spend Christmas morning doing gifts together then visiting the in-laws before going to my family for dinner and stay over, we never arrive with them before half 2/3 o’clock and dinner starts sometime after that

Three pm at our house means our probably miss starters but be in time for the main course

I agree op , it’s very odd

Don’t go. Go to visit the day after Boxing Day

I'm coming over to your's. I'll bring the pudding.

So is this right - you spend half the day driving there, get there & spend the afternoon with them, then drive all he way back, and no xmas dinner?

Just go boxing day

whats the issue?

They haven’t actually said they are not doing Christmas dinner. However, they are cooking it at a time that doesn’t suit you.

Driving on Christmas Day with a carful of kids who just want to be play with their toys is miserable. Just go Boxing Day and coin your own dinner.

3pm is absolutely fine to arrive and expect Christmas dinner. That's when I ask guests to come because it means we can have a relaxing start to day, long walk etc. Your family are being ridiculous. Stay at home and go on Boxing Day.