To think if you invite someone over for Christmas

[Jerryyyyyy]

That means you'll serve Christmas dinner?

I live quite far away from family - same country, half a day drive away. They have come to us for most christmasses. We have space for them to stay but they don't have space for us so logistically it's always made more sense. They've decided they don't want to come anymore, which is fine. It can be intense here, a lot of family from the other side. DH always cooks a huge Christmas Dinner.

This year they've made arrangements so that we can go to them for Xmas and we will have somewhere to stay. We're thinking of driving down on Xmas day so that we xan do prezzies with our DC at home. Will prob be with them by 3 at the latest and will stay a couple of nights. Found out today they think we're only there for the afternoon and so they're not cooking Christmas Dinner which means we won't have one!

It's Mumsnet so people are nuts op, of CAUSE your relatives should cook for you. They could have bunch and then do Xmas Dinner at 4 ish.
Unreasonable of them indeed.

@Duttercup fair enough you win the thread, bunch of grinches the lot of you I say!

I usually hope to be comatose with a cocktail of roast potatoes, quality street and central heating by 3pm, all that’s left of the day by then is to cry at Mary Poppins and claim you’re never eating again, only to manage a sandwich of leftovers with a couple of pickled eggs and a wodge of Christmas cake on the side around 6pm, then fall asleep on the sofa.

This

Just cook at home and go boxing day. Offer to bring something for a buffet while dropping a hint at the same time.

Inviting people for Christmas and not intending to cook / offer dinner is batshit. IMO.

So what’s your plan now, OP?

Spend the best part of the day driving and arrive for a cosy beans on toast evening meal?

Even if you go Christmas Eve and stay over, you’ll miss a Christmas Dinner.

I’d be staying at home and asking if you can see them Boxing Day.

come down on Christmas day if you like

To me, this sounds more like an invitation to call in on Christmas day for a visit, rather than come for Christmas.

If it doesn't work for you, don't go

What would they have done if you'd told them you'd be arriving at 11?

Christmas Day IS Christmas Dinner! It's the prep, the build-up, the serving, the eating, the clearing, the relaxing.

Seriously? Why would you assume that everyone has “nibbles and champagne”? 🙄

Stay at home, have your lunch/dinner - including nibbles and champagne 🥂 - and let your children play/relax. Visit family on Boxing Day.

I'll be over at 3.05pm.

Speaking from personal experience, it is absolutely miserable to drag your DC away from their new toys and stick them in a car for half of Christmas Day. The roads aren’t even as quiet as you think they’ll be as everyone has the same idea and thinks they’ll be clever by travelling mid-morning on the 25th.

Around 3 I’m usually having a snooze 😂
Im usually exhausted from not being able to sleep all night and a decent amount of booze from around 11am. (Booze with breakfast is a hard nut to crack)

YANBU to expect whoever is inviting people for Christmas, to be cooking and serving Christmas dinner, but then they ANBU to expect you to get there for the time they would be serving the meal.

If you rocked up at my house at 3pm on Christmas day, you wouldn't be getting a dinner either (unless we plated one up for you).
If you are going for Christmas, then get up and go (or go the night before).

I honestly couldn't be arsed with this nonsense.

Oh and absolutely agree with others saying it’s utter shit having to travel on Christmas Day when you’re a child.
All that excitement leading up to the day. Unwrapping the cool stuff you get to be then told not to bother and you are packed into the car. Even worse when the people you are seeing are all adults. Come to think of it, also shit when there’s other kids where you are going “boasting” and playing with their presents

come down on Christmas day if you like

That's a bit of a half hearted invitation.

OP said it will take them half a day to travel, how / where are they supposed to eat ?

OP it sounds like your family are not that arsed about you visiting them by not even making any effort to provide Christmas dinner after travelling half the day to get to them.

I'm confused as to why they arranged somewhere for you to stay for a couple of nights, but now only think you are staying for the afternoon, surely making sure you still have somewhere to sleep is more important than a glorified roast dinner

That would be perfect for us as we always have Christmas dinner at 3pm. Right after the Queen’s speech (that will be odd watching Charles this year).

I can't believe you are thinking of spending half a day in the car! You'll miss most of the day travelling when the kids will want to be playing with their toys.

And as a host I'd be annoyed you were arriving so late.

Makes no sense at all. Either go the day before or go Boxing Day.

If I invite someone that lives that far away, I’d do dinner for later eg 5pm. Normally I’d do it for 1 or 2 ish. (so 3pm isn’t exactly the arse end of the day!)

BUT doesn’t sound like your invitation was for Christmas dinner, that is the problem, not the timings and then they confirmed they never cook Christmas dinner! (Because they go to other peoples houses?)

I would want to do presents at home rather than cart them all over the place for the kids, so maybe I’d go Boxing Day or after.

Really? We never eat before 3 and usually 4 or 5.

To the OP, I say stay home and enjoy your Christmas. Whoever these people are, you can see them on Boxing Day. Don't jump through hoops to please them.

Yeah, all of this.

Don't do that to your children.

Go on BD or Christmas Eve, seriously.