To think if you invite someone over for Christmas

[Jerryyyyyy]

That means you'll serve Christmas dinner?

I live quite far away from family - same country, half a day drive away. They have come to us for most christmasses. We have space for them to stay but they don't have space for us so logistically it's always made more sense. They've decided they don't want to come anymore, which is fine. It can be intense here, a lot of family from the other side. DH always cooks a huge Christmas Dinner.

This year they've made arrangements so that we can go to them for Xmas and we will have somewhere to stay. We're thinking of driving down on Xmas day so that we xan do prezzies with our DC at home. Will prob be with them by 3 at the latest and will stay a couple of nights. Found out today they think we're only there for the afternoon and so they're not cooking Christmas Dinner which means we won't have one!

Why stay at home to watch the kids open their presents only to deprive them almost immediately because they will be stuck in the car for half a day. Either the presents are special or they are not. Sounds absolutely awful for the children tbh. Drive down boxing day.

Is this a reverse? You can't say you'll be there at 3ish and expect a full Christmas dinner if that is really late for them. Especially if you have an option to go the day before or earlier and get there for more usual time. I would be sympathetic if you couldn't get away on Christmas eve and set off at the crack of dawn to get there but it seems like you want to have your (christmas) cake and eat it too. I would go on boxing day.

What do they eat on christmas day? Lots of people on here don't do a roast but have something else for a change and a treat. If you want lunch your way stay at home I say.

I don't think half a days drive is fair on the kids on Christmas day. Either go the day before or the day after.

The whole thing just sounds like an awful plan. Who wants to spend half the day on Christmas driving ? Why don't you have Christmas at home, eat a proper dinner and drive down boxing day? You can still not have Christmas Dinner with them on boxing day

We are the same! We are hosting this year, and this will be the same kind of time frame for us. It means I don't have to get up and start cooking straight away, I can spend Christmas morning with my daughter.

If my guests were in your position OP, and traveling a long way to visit me I would adapt to their timings.

Rather suspect your family are happy with a quiet Christmas Day without seeing much of you. Boxing Day would seem a more sensible plan.

I just don't get this plan, it sounds bad for everyone, hours in the car and no Christmas dinner for you and then them having guests arrive when they probably just want to veg out with the quality street. What's the point? Where's the fun?

What's communication like between you and the host because it's better to have a clear plan rather than just assuming things.

Astounding how many people can write full replies without having read what the OP has to say!

Anyway, OP, they don't really want you to come and driving for hours with kids on Xmas is nuts. Just stay at home.

Why on Earth do you want to spend most of Xmas Day sitting in the car?

How refreshing for a poster to admit it didn’t go the way they expected. I hope you get a wonderful Christmas dinner wherever you end up.

If someone was coming to me at 3 I'd do dinner for 6. We like to have it earlier but it doesn't really matter.

If they are eating earlier I would go boxing day

What’s the point in arriving at 3 on Christmas Day?
You have children; a half a day drive on Christmas Day sounds the shittest day ever!
Just go on Boxing Day.

Why are so many people saying whats the point of arriving at three? In this case, it doesn't matter what time they would arrive, there is no dinner on offer anyway so time is irrelevant. And if its a general point, well I'm sure for many people 3 would be the perfect time. As would 4 or 5 or 6 or 7, depending on what suits them all!

Will they give you some sort of meal, just not specifically a trad Christmas one?
Personally I don't like Christmas dinner that much, so wouldn't be arsed. But I would like to be fed something.
I might also offer to cook or at least assemble food (deli/cold stuff) for everyone on Boxing Day, including something festive, maybe a Christmassy pudding like a lavish trifle or something.

Can you clarify with them what they are doing ?
If someone invited me for dinner (Xmas or not), I'd assume 15.00 is early but fine, but maybe they have dinner at lunchtime ?

Regardless of feeding issue, I wouldn’t want to drive for several hours on Christmas Day in case we had an accident or broke down as recovery services might take much longer to deal with you.

Either drive to your family on Boxing Day or a few days after Christmas instead?

YANBU but I would stay home and go there Boxing day instead

Its half a days drive but your leaving after the morning and will be there by 3?

Honestly that sounds miserable, ridiculous and awkward for all, who wants a 6+ hour drive on xmas day?

Either go on xmas eve or stay home.

See, this wouldn't be a problem at our house because we eat our main meal at around 5pm, in candlelight. We have a big breakfast, then a walk with the dog, then back for fizz and presents, followed by appetisers.
So come to ours!!!

But, I agree it's a bit shit for your kids to spend most of Christmas Day in the car.

You’re completely unreasonable.

you don’t dictate Christmas for others. They don’t do dinner. You do. You saying they should is like them saying you shouldn’t.

don’t like it. Don’t go.

This whole plan was terrible anyway, who wants to spend hours in a car on Christmas Day? Have the day at yours and travel on Boxing Day.

so what do they eat christmas day nothing?

If I were you I'd be staying at home For those saying 3 is late I wouldn't expect guests before 3 We have dinner after the Monarch's Speech and 3pm - bedtime is plenty of time I wouldn't be sitting around all day waiting for guests I'd be having a lie in a leisurely breakfast then setting up for/ preparing dinner

Surely they eat something?