DD's dad wants me to give up pork!

[GrassIsGreener7]

The father of my child does not eat pork for his own personal reasons. I have always eaten pork and at the beginning of our relationship, made it clear I would still do so. I got pregnant and for various reasons we separated. Throughout my pregnancy, he started demanding I didn't eat pork as he didn't want his child to "eat" pork. I told him I can eat whatever I want and it caused many arguments.

The baby is now a few months old and I exclusively breastfeed her. I have still carried on eating pork and DD's dad is furious about this saying I am going against his wishes about what food he wants his child to consume. I think he is being completely ridiculous and so does my family but wanted some unbiased opinions about who is being unreasonable here?!

Is it for religious reasons?

I would carry on as you are. None of his business what you eat.

What an idiot.

He can obviously decide he doesn't want to eat pork but he doesn't get to dictate what others eat including his child.

Id ignore but id be weaning her on bacon butties and sausage rolls

Eat as much pork as you want.

I would worry that this man is going to be controlling in other ways too

Is he usually so controlling?

He needs to understand what breastmilk is, it’s a derivative of (your) blood products it’s not impacted by the type of foods you eat.

Meh, if he cared so much he shouldn't have got you pregnant 🤷‍♀️

I’d find it hard not to give your dc a bacon buttie for breakfast everyday once weaned. He is ridiculous but you know this. Best to have firm boundaries. If you give in now he will bully you until he gets his own way in everything.

If he was an amazing partner in every other way and he explained his reasons to me, which made sense, I’d probably do it.

YANBU. He can control her diet at the times she is with him (not for some years yet, it sounds like), but he certainly can't control your diet.

Even if it’s for religious reasons, he can’t stop you feeding your own child pork.

If this really mattered to him then he should have only dated/married women who follow the same religious food rules as him then. This is not your problem. You can also feed your child pork when they are weaning. Your time, your house, your choice of food. He can feed your joint child as he likes when it’s his contact time. If he asks if you’re still eating pork just tell him your diet is none of his business.

If he wants to look after the kid he can feed her.

Otherwise it is none of his business.

Could you make yourself a few stock phrases to repeat:

What I eat is of no concern to you
Please stop going on about my food intake
I feel bullied when you start up again, please stop it

Try to engineer less direct contact with him - have you an intermediary who could undertake handover (your mum? a good friend?) so that you don't give him opportunities to start harping on.

He's a controlling ex!

If he didn't want his child eating pork maybe he should have kept his sperm out of the vagina of someone who does.

A lesser human would suggest he wasn't worried about pork when he was porking the mother of his future child. Not me, I'd never say something so crass.

He cannot dictate to others. Especially if its legal. End of subject.

If he was that bothered he shouldn't have got you pregnant.

He is being completely U. Carry on eating whatever you want. He doesn't get to tell you what you eat or what your child eats when in your care.

His a controlling arse. The more he moaned the more pork I would want to eat.

If he wanted to raise his daughter as Jewish/Muslim/vegan/whatever, he should have (a) found a partner with the same values and/or (b) not separated from said partner leaving her with primary custody of the child.

FaceTime him to decline his request for you to stop eating pork, whilst eating a bacon sandwich… what a dick.

This isn't really about pork. It is about controlling you.

If you give in to his demands and stop eating pork, he will very quickly come up with something else he doesn't want you to do.

You have got a very miserable eighteen years ahead of you if this man is allowed to dominate you. Does he pay maintenance for his child?

be careful.
avoid discussing the subject.
he could be dangerous.

Ignore, he doesn’t get to demand that of you.

I'm assuming the reasons are religious? In which case he should porked a woman who practises the same faith, if he's so pious. You don't say whether you married, but he should certainly have done that too. Can't have unclean porking.