DD's dad wants me to give up pork!

[GrassIsGreener7]

The father of my child does not eat pork for his own personal reasons. I have always eaten pork and at the beginning of our relationship, made it clear I would still do so. I got pregnant and for various reasons we separated. Throughout my pregnancy, he started demanding I didn't eat pork as he didn't want his child to "eat" pork. I told him I can eat whatever I want and it caused many arguments.

The baby is now a few months old and I exclusively breastfeed her. I have still carried on eating pork and DD's dad is furious about this saying I am going against his wishes about what food he wants his child to consume. I think he is being completely ridiculous and so does my family but wanted some unbiased opinions about who is being unreasonable here?!

Tell him to fuck off and that he won’t be welcome in your house to visit DD if he keeps trying to control you.

Indeed.

It was almost homeopathic.

Does he think that when you eat pork, your breast milk is contaminated with Essence of Pork somehow? What an idiot.

Yes of course, that's a perfectly reasonable compromise. You eat whatever you like, and both of you feed her pork or not as desired when she's with you.

When it comes to religious issues like this, it’s a difficult one.
I know plenty of orthodox Jews and Muslims that would be utterly sickened at the thought of eating pork or shellfish, as it’s the nature of those animals to snuffle through detritus and feed off all the crap on the bottom of the ocean.
They were literally raised from birth to think of it as one of the most disgusting things you could do.

Me, I’d trade my soul for one last pork pie, or a prawn cocktail for the matter.
If I’m willing to eat chicken nuggets or mystery meat curries, then I’m not gonna worry about some premium grade pork or some mussels 😁

But, like most others on this thread, you don’t feel the same way as he does.
You are not together.
Eat what you want. Let your daughter explore her as she grows up and make her own mind up.

If you happen to be in Yorkshire, I can say with absolute certainty that your best pork pie is from Farmhouse Fare, on Skipton High Street (I’m biased, natch). Get one warm and still dripping with the little one when she’s weaned 😁

Definitely shut this down straight away.

You are going to continue eating pork and it’s nothing to do with him.

When she’s with him then he can choose not to feed her pork.

Tell him you will not engage in anymore discussions about it.

I do think it was convenient that you happened to be eating pork when he came over, knowing how he feels about it.

If it was done intentionally then my advice would be to not get involved in petty games as it makes Co-parenting very difficult.

As this is a religious matter then it sounds like you are both going to encounter alot of challenges with what is expected when raising her. Have you sat down and had a chat to discuss whether she will be raised within the religion or doing parts of it or not at all?

He's on a hiding to nothing - you can eat whatever you damned well please!

So he's OK for you to care for the baby, in your own home, him in his, but not OK for you to eat pork?

Let me guess, you don't live together because he'd rather just be a weekend dad, there for the photos. But he wants to control your behaviour?

Don’t. My ex is a Muslim and despite not being a very good Muslim he didn’t want our kids to eat pork. He never asked me to stop eating it though, in pregnancy or BF. I told him more recently the kids were getting older and could make their own choices now, one now eats pork. He’s not happy about it, but tough.

I would imagine the law would say that
OP can eat as much pork as she wants in her own house
OP can feed pork to her child when she is caring for her
The ex can decide to not eat pork and not feed pork to the child when she is in his home and under his care.

I'm curious why does he feel so strongly about pork?

He can't be that religious to be shagging you outside of marriage, such a hypocrite.

I really enjoyed the phrase “Essence of Pork” earlier in this thread.

Next time he mentions it , ask him to leave and every time he tries to tell you what to do , ask him to leave. Don't allow his behaviour to continue by tolerating it. He'll soon get the message to keep him trap shut

Both of you can solve this by going vegan and saving the animals and the environment ✌️

Tell him to F right off. And I don’t eat pork for religious reasons.

Let me guess he has a quite strict religion that prohibits certain foods....

Don't all these religions also mention sex outside of marriage.

Funny how these types always pick and choose.

yes but not being on the certificate would be helpful, given that he doesn't live with her or have much of a fatherly role.

HE doesn't want to eat pork.that is for him to decide.fine.but that's not his child.and deff not you.
And if be making sure he wasn't forcing my dc not to eat pork either.ok he might not have it at his house but he doesn't get to choose things like that for your dc.
He deff doesn't need to be so perfect if that you can't have it whilst bf.

Id do this. Every single time. Be non-confrontational and just tell him that it's time to leave. If he can't respect you as the mother of his child, the woman he happily impregnated (who ate and still eats pork), then he has no place in your house.

@Redebs what an awful post. If your religion means you support a controlling man who tries to dictate he ex's food intake then get a new one.

Just shut him down. Remind him that he was aware of your dietary preferences when you got together and they haven't changed. He can feed your daughter a veggie/ halal/ whatever diet when he has her. Be sure to teach her the value of tolerance as she grows up as he might try and use this to get at you via her.

I'm quite shocked how many think you should smile and pretend to agree to his demand. Asking for trouble. Much better to say, I will eat what I choose, none of your business. On the other hand, not feeding the child pork is a reasonable request which you might consider - it's just not reasonable to demand it. What other demands will be coming if you agree to this?

I'd be very interested to know which religion he follows so devoutly that prohibits the eating of pork but allows a man to impregnate a woman he isn't married to and then leave her during the pregnancy.