Hendo - Feel like crying!

[TeaPlzx]

Hi! First thread here. I'm (F/29) attending a close friends hen do, there's 9 of us staying in a large, swanky cottage (pool, hot tub, sauna, etc.) The bedrooms are made up of multiple king size/double rooms and there's one small room with a bunk bed (designed for kids) and pull-out single (mattress on the floor). I can't express how different this room is to the others, imagine an empty room, with tiny kids bunks and a mattress, that's the extent of it. No wardrobe, no cosy lighting, etc.

Each person has paid approx. £300 for a 2 night stay, including a stripper at the venue and food. Alcohol will have to be purchased separately...
Everyone has been placed in double/king sized rooms (some are sharing, but others not), all with ensuits, however, I've been assigned (without discussion) the small room on my own, without bathroom (will use the "family" shared bathroom). I feel this anger, that I'm paying the same as everyone else, they're all in 5* luxury beds with their own bathrooms and I'm on a pull-out style frame/matress on the floor.

I'm most frustrated that it wasn't even discussed with me, just assigned/assumed I'd take that room. I've briefly raised it with the organiser and she's stated she offered the largest rooms to those sharing (mostly siblings/mums with daughters) and the other two people who aren't sharing (like me), one is pregnant and the other is mother of the stag. Am I unreasonable to still feel upset and not want to be in the tiny bedroom with mattress on the floor? If she feels too embarrassed to allocate that room to MIL, or to herself even, why should I be in there?
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I'm feeling VERY bitter about it al.

I mean, her reasoning behind the room allocations is quite fair. And surely you'll only be using that room to sleep?

The reasoning is quite fair but paying the same is not.

I think her reasoning makes sense

This. Also, even if it is fair, she should have spoken to you separately about it and explained in advance.
Definitely you shouldn't be paying as much as the others

Can you ask for a discount, as your room is significantly worse than the others?

If the hen party is any good then people will only be in the room to sleep, what difference does it make? I think you're overthinking it and making it into an issue

Her reasons sound decent. She can’t put the MIL in there can she really and prioritised a bigger bed to someone pregnant seems ok.

And I’d much rather have a small bunk room on my own than share a double bed with someone other than my husband!

assume if they all have en suites that you get the family bathroom to yourself as well?

if you are that upset maybe ask for a discount but it does sound like she’s been as fair as possible and you are being a teeny bit precious/OTT about this

Well somebody has to have that room and tbh the reasoning itself is not unfair. But YANBU to feel shortchanged. You have limited options really though. Don’t go (and ask for money back though might not be forthcoming) or ask nicely to pay less in some way, perhaps on alcohol costs still to be paid vs the accommodation which everyone has presumably already paid.

I think her reasoning is fair.

She should be in there. That’s what I’d be doing if I organised it and at the very least I’d do a draw or something. It’s not right at all to just allocate you to it.

Well, I guess someone needs to take the small room.

It should've been discussed beforehand though, with a shit room discount offered to the masses.

I was with you until I saw the reasoning behind it, which I think is fine.

I would ask for a discount though, or maybe they'll have a whip round and pay for your drinks?

I think it’s simple circumstances that have put you in there. I think her reasoning is sound. It just sucks to be you. Bum.

YABU and also having a massive over reaction IMO - sounds to me like the organiser has come up with the most sensible approach. It's never fun to be the one who comes off worst, but what would you suggest she did differently? And I don't think it's feasible to change the payment structure either. Should those sharing a room be paying less? Where do you draw a line?!

Her reasoning is sound but she absolutely should have told you in advance, charged you less and could have offered to have that room herself.

OP is sleeping at floor level - that's going to be draughty and uncomfortable - and she'll also have to go along a corridor or whatever to use the loo/shower. I wouldn't book accommodation like that for myself and expect to pay the same as I would for a room with a king size bed and ensuite.

Yes, there should be a ‘shit room’ discount for you.

This is why Hen Do's are a nightmare to sort out.

Personally i'd be pleased. A room to yourself is better than a fancier room which you have to share.

It would have been better if she'd discussed it with you ahead of time but I wouldn't make a fuss about it. I'd be glad to have a room to myself rather than sharing with someone (but then I'm quite antisocial!) You still have use of the pool etc and as @JorisBonson said you'll only be using it to sleep.

I agree with others, the allocation is fair, but asking you to pay the same amount is not.

I went on a hen do a few years ago, well I organised it actually. I slept in the smallest, most basic room. I chose that room so I didn't have to share! And it was quite nice and cosy really. I paid the same as everyone else, but the room wasn't unpleasant, just small.

In your situation, I would DEFINITELY talk about the money side of things, maybe suggest that you don't go in for the alcohol if you were planning on spending enough money on that? You'll probably find that others agree with you if they see the difference in your room?

You lost me at stripper 🤮

I know, but I wouldn't care less and none of my friends would. We would just all split the bill. I'd be offering to go in that room, I wouldn't care, I'd only be using it to sleep in. I'd be sharing sharing the rest of the weekend in exactly the same way, I wouldn't care less that my bedroom is smaller 🙈

The reasoning is quite fair but paying the same is not.

^^
This. I think you should discuss how much you paid towards this.

Her reasons are entirely fair. Someone had to have that room and tbh with weekends like this it's the chance to have fun and spend time with friends that matters, not what your room is like. If you're going on a couples holiday the room might be more important, for a hen do does it really matter? If it's a decent weekend you won't be in there much

I would rather that than share with someone personally. I only just tolerate sharing a room/bed with my husband