Hendo - Feel like crying!

[TeaPlzx]

Hi! First thread here. I'm (F/29) attending a close friends hen do, there's 9 of us staying in a large, swanky cottage (pool, hot tub, sauna, etc.) The bedrooms are made up of multiple king size/double rooms and there's one small room with a bunk bed (designed for kids) and pull-out single (mattress on the floor). I can't express how different this room is to the others, imagine an empty room, with tiny kids bunks and a mattress, that's the extent of it. No wardrobe, no cosy lighting, etc.

Each person has paid approx. £300 for a 2 night stay, including a stripper at the venue and food. Alcohol will have to be purchased separately...
Everyone has been placed in double/king sized rooms (some are sharing, but others not), all with ensuits, however, I've been assigned (without discussion) the small room on my own, without bathroom (will use the "family" shared bathroom). I feel this anger, that I'm paying the same as everyone else, they're all in 5* luxury beds with their own bathrooms and I'm on a pull-out style frame/matress on the floor.

I'm most frustrated that it wasn't even discussed with me, just assigned/assumed I'd take that room. I've briefly raised it with the organiser and she's stated she offered the largest rooms to those sharing (mostly siblings/mums with daughters) and the other two people who aren't sharing (like me), one is pregnant and the other is mother of the stag. Am I unreasonable to still feel upset and not want to be in the tiny bedroom with mattress on the floor? If she feels too embarrassed to allocate that room to MIL, or to herself even, why should I be in there?
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I'm feeling VERY bitter about it al.

You'll be fine in a bunk bed surely? Why is it only suitable for kids?

What do you think the room allocation should look like?

Presumably you knew the room set ups when you paid/booked so I don't see the problem.
A single bed for a single person isn't too bad if everyone else has an en suite you'll have the family bathroom to yourself.

I think the explanation sounds reasonable and the organiser has done her best. I would just go with the flow. If you want to pay less it means others paying more and is it really worth making a fuss over? It's somewhere to sleep and you'll have your own space and own bathroom.

Mad you've all assumed mil is some frail old lady. She might be in her 40s and well able to crash in a bunk bed.
Should have been an upfront proposal to start with and then drawn lots for the shite room. Plus I'd be making it very clear noone was having a long bath or shit in 'my' bathroom and they need to use the en-suites.

Are you driving there?
Could you take things from home to make it a little more comfortable? Nice bedding and a lamp. A box of chocolates.
Just to make it more inviting at the end of the day?

And me, I thought 'Oh no what on earth could have happened to Hendo's relish!!!' and hurried to find out.

I'd ask for a bit of a discount I think. Everyone else has got a room with en suite, you haven't...

Yes Op, this is a shit way to treat you. I've learned this lesson the hard way too, now I never book anything until I've sorted out exactly where I'm sleeping. You're kind of stuck with it now but... some friend!

Luck of the draw, I think you're being unreasonable

😂. They wouldn’t dare!

I wouldn’t want to sleep on a mattress on the floor. The organiser should have booked a house with enough beds for everyone.

I too would be very pissed off, and I’d tell the organiser and ask her to come up with some solution.

I wouldn't be going if I was expected to sleep on a mattress on the floor!

I can see what she means but she should be in that room.
Or you should have had a discount for sure.

Just try and make use of all the other lovely facilities.
Surely if they all have ensuites then the family shared bathroom won't be used much by anyone else?

@TeaPlzx why didn’t the organiser select a property that could accommodate all the guests in a decent way? This is the question that I would be asking

If others are paying £300 each then the bigger rooms cost £600, if it were me I'd prefer the room on my own if I couldn't get a big swanky room. Frustrating yes but the £300 is for the weekend away, not just the sleeping quarters. Agree the organiser should have given you a heads up first or at least discussed it in the group.

The hen has a grown up daughter (unless she's bringing a child to a hen weekend with a stripper) so it's unlikely that her future MIL is in her 40s, assuming her and future DH are a similar age to one another. I think it's also an issue of the relationship between a MIL and DIL and between two friends, not just age related.

I'd sleep on a bunk bed over sharing with someone else all day long.

Anyone else pronounce the title as 'hen-doh' and open it wondering what this is?

I would much rather have a small room and a single mattress than have to share. I stayed with a friend at the weekend and chose to have the singe bed she has for her 3yo granddaughter. It was perfectly cosy and comfortable.

If the people sharing rooms are paying £300 each, you have a good deal paying £300 for a smaller room of your own. Sometimes a mattress on the floor can be more comfortable than a bed (assuming it's a proper mattress not an airbed)

I would far rather have my own room, however basic, than have to share a room. It sounds like the organiser has done the best & fairest she could under the circumstances. I would get on with it if I were you.

In a big house share type situation, there is always a shit bed, usually the sofa bed. This should have been decided before you paid to go. I thought that was just standard.

Not much you can do now OP unfortunately

@TeaPlzx if everyone is paying £300 that means they're also paying £300 to share a room unless I've misunderstood?

Why can't you share with the MIL or the pregnant friend?

Yes good point, of course it will be a proper single! I doubt toddler bunks even exist since you’re not supposed to put under 6s in a top bunk in case they fall climbing the ladder.

So presumably the talk of the kids bed and the floor mattress is just dramatics. OP will actually have more sleeping space than anyone in a double bed with someone else, plus there’s the privacy of her own room and if she’s the only one using the family bath she’s also benefiting there versus the sharers.

Although I think equal split is fairest, I think there’s actually a case that could be argued for OP paying more. The only ones getting a superior set up are older MIL and pregnant friend which is totally fair enough.

Her rationale seems fair, but she should have checked with you first and you shouldn’t have to pay as much. If you’re having a good weekend you/everyone will barely be in their rooms. On my hen I barely went in mine just to sleep and get changed!

I do get why you’re feeling a bit bitter, but realistically what can she do now? I think if everyone else was asked to chip in so you can get a discount that would be far more trouble than it’s worth. Also as you’ve said there is no real way you can swap apart from with someone who’s pregnant. I think in your position I would try to look on the bright side and remember you’ll barely be in there and you’ll still be able to enjoy the rest of the facilities. Do you have/ know anyone with a better bed you could take- we have a super comfy air bed and also a folding bed with legs which fits in a car boot. Also I think at the moment there’s a pretty good chance of people dropping out so you may get an upgrade anyway.

The reality is that this property was never really suitable with this bunk room but as someone who has organised a few hens and will NEVER DO SO AGAIN (was always either left out of pocket or ready to strange so tangentially known princess) I think you need to try your best to be the bigger person.