Hendo - Feel like crying!

[TeaPlzx]

Hi! First thread here. I'm (F/29) attending a close friends hen do, there's 9 of us staying in a large, swanky cottage (pool, hot tub, sauna, etc.) The bedrooms are made up of multiple king size/double rooms and there's one small room with a bunk bed (designed for kids) and pull-out single (mattress on the floor). I can't express how different this room is to the others, imagine an empty room, with tiny kids bunks and a mattress, that's the extent of it. No wardrobe, no cosy lighting, etc.

Each person has paid approx. £300 for a 2 night stay, including a stripper at the venue and food. Alcohol will have to be purchased separately...
Everyone has been placed in double/king sized rooms (some are sharing, but others not), all with ensuits, however, I've been assigned (without discussion) the small room on my own, without bathroom (will use the "family" shared bathroom). I feel this anger, that I'm paying the same as everyone else, they're all in 5* luxury beds with their own bathrooms and I'm on a pull-out style frame/matress on the floor.

I'm most frustrated that it wasn't even discussed with me, just assigned/assumed I'd take that room. I've briefly raised it with the organiser and she's stated she offered the largest rooms to those sharing (mostly siblings/mums with daughters) and the other two people who aren't sharing (like me), one is pregnant and the other is mother of the stag. Am I unreasonable to still feel upset and not want to be in the tiny bedroom with mattress on the floor? If she feels too embarrassed to allocate that room to MIL, or to herself even, why should I be in there?
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I'm feeling VERY bitter about it al.

I wouldn't get into complexities of not paying for alcohol etc. OP - I would just ask for a discount on your contribution (or, someone else can take that room if they are happy to pay full price for it).

If everyone else has en-suite then you have a bathroom to yourself but it isn't attached directly to your bedroom: is that right?
So what you are lacking is a feeling of luxury and a wardrobe?
Grab some coat hangers from each of the wardrobes in the other rooms and put your clothes around the top bunk that you aren't using. Presumably there's a mirror in your bathroom?

You aren't unreasonable to be a bit disappointed but realistically it isn't significantly worse than what the others have (and you don't have to share).
I don't think it could have been avoided really given that of the three of you one is pregnant and one is the MoG.

I think the reasons the organiser has given are completely reasonable, but possibly whoever got the less nice room should pay 25% less.

But personally as long is the bed is comfortable enough to sleep on I'd just suck it up and get on with it for the sake of 2 nights.

I dunno, if I'd gone to the effort of organising a whole weekend for everyone and sorting payment etc I think I'd want a decent room for myself actually.

Don't be wet OP, crying because you don't have lovely lighting and a wardrobe for goodness sake.

Wow, I didn't expect so many replies so soon. Thank you everyone.

When I raised it with her, she suggested I ask to swap with the pregnant friend (which I've refused to do and wouldn't even consider).
I understand her reasoning behind the allocations, however, I think offering a discount or giving me an option to have shared with others, perhaps drawing straws...would have been more fair.
This bedroom really is an entirely different standard to the others and at £300, I could book a hotel with double bed/ensuite. It's the lack of care to even ask me that's wound me up most I think and also the assumption it's suitable for me, but not for herself or Mother In Law?

I go back and forth between telling myself "you'll hardly be in there, just forget about it" to "why am I paying the same, to sleep on the floor and run across a coridoor to a shared bathroom"? 😩

I thought this was going to be a thread about Jordan Henderson

I agree

If you're that upset, and feeling bitter, just don't go. You'll be determined not to enjoy yourself and your friends' company with that sort of attitude. YABU.

Given her reasoning is totally logical I don't think it's worth kicking up a fuss over the money. Yeah, it's unfair you're paying more just because you're not pregnant or the mother, but there's no way it won't come across as petty.

I thought it was going to be about Henderson’s Relish

I thought martial arts!

But you're not paying £300 for the room, you're paying for food, a stripper and the facilities at the accommodation. Plus I guess you're all chipping in for the hen.

What room has the organiser got? I would be tempted to say, either give me a discount or, if you think that room is worth full price, you have it and I will have yours.

Stripper? Ok.

YABU to spell Hen Do in one word, I also didn't realise it was about that.

But no, yanbu to be disappointed. It is unfair and the right thing would have been to offer you a discount. That said someone had to have that room, and now it's you the best thing you can do is move on and try enjoy the weekend.

Her reasoning is fair - those sharing need more space, the MIL can’t be expected to sleep there and nor can the pregnant guest. But you ought to be paying less as a result

She's in the largest king-size with en-quite and sharing it with her daughter.

Ask if you can share with the MiL or the pregnant woman instead. Or would you prefer to have your own room? (I would)

I'd be slightly disappointed but not fuming given that the reasoning sounds fair.

YABU.

Her reasoning seems fair, in her position would you have put your future MIL or a pregnant woman in the smallest room. It also seems that the easiest way to split the cost is equally between everyone, otherwise it would turn into an absolute nightmare.

People sharing would have to pay less, would they pay half the accommodation portion of the cost, but that would mean people allocated their own room would pay more, and would that be fair if not everyone had been given the option to share.

If all of the other rooms are ensuite then you should have sole access to the bathroom for the time everyone is in their rooms.

I would rather have the smallest room than have to share a room.

BUT you are not paying £300 for the room, you're paying it for the ENTIRE WEEKEND

I'd be delighted to have my own room! But also if all the other rooms have en-suites, then presumably the family bathroom will be all yours? In the interests of fairness though, it would be nice if they offered you a discount.

It's not so much the room size, or even the added extra touches, it's that my bed is a mattress on the floor. The bunk beds would only be suitable for kids.

I suppose I feel £300 to spend two nights on the floor just grates at me. I would have at least liked to have been made aware/given the option to share instead prior. I'd rather have shared with a close friend and have a decent bed, I think.

It’s bad luck that it’s you, but honestly you can’t expect a pregnant woman, the bride or the older mother in law to have that room. It’s weird that you would think that any of them should sleep in there. If any of the others have a spare bed then could you ask to share a room? I think it’s fair enough to ask for a reduction, but then you’re asking everyone else to pay more at the last minute, which wouldn’t seem fair to them. It seems like you were happy for someone to have the shit room and pay the same until that person was you.

Me too!

I charged in thinking it had been discontinued.

Fair explanation from organiser
Not fair for the same price
Say you can pay £200 and the others can make up the £100 between them