Hendo - Feel like crying!

[TeaPlzx]

Hi! First thread here. I'm (F/29) attending a close friends hen do, there's 9 of us staying in a large, swanky cottage (pool, hot tub, sauna, etc.) The bedrooms are made up of multiple king size/double rooms and there's one small room with a bunk bed (designed for kids) and pull-out single (mattress on the floor). I can't express how different this room is to the others, imagine an empty room, with tiny kids bunks and a mattress, that's the extent of it. No wardrobe, no cosy lighting, etc.

Each person has paid approx. £300 for a 2 night stay, including a stripper at the venue and food. Alcohol will have to be purchased separately...
Everyone has been placed in double/king sized rooms (some are sharing, but others not), all with ensuits, however, I've been assigned (without discussion) the small room on my own, without bathroom (will use the "family" shared bathroom). I feel this anger, that I'm paying the same as everyone else, they're all in 5* luxury beds with their own bathrooms and I'm on a pull-out style frame/matress on the floor.

I'm most frustrated that it wasn't even discussed with me, just assigned/assumed I'd take that room. I've briefly raised it with the organiser and she's stated she offered the largest rooms to those sharing (mostly siblings/mums with daughters) and the other two people who aren't sharing (like me), one is pregnant and the other is mother of the stag. Am I unreasonable to still feel upset and not want to be in the tiny bedroom with mattress on the floor? If she feels too embarrassed to allocate that room to MIL, or to herself even, why should I be in there?
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I'm feeling VERY bitter about it al.

But she isn't sharing that room?

In this instance the OP would prefer to share a bed and have a nicer room. Other people would prefer a single room and not to share - so given that, it's not that the organiser has given her an option everyone would agree was worse - she just thinks it's worse in this case.

It's clearly worse than the pregnant lady and mother of the groom but those two are probably not representative of the group as a whole.

Assuming everyone is being charged £300 each so £600 per room if you're sharing that is. If it's a per room charge I would be kicking up a fuss.

I’d tell her how much reduction you want. You wouldn’t pay the same for a 5* luxury hotel room that you would for a bunk room. I think your contribution should be halved.

Reasonable but if she knew the room layout before booking she should have .adele he other rooms more say an extra 20 and yours less with the explanation it doesnt have it's own bathroom ect. I cant lie I would be pissed but not sure it would be enough to go mad about it and insist on a change

a daybed is not a bunkbed.

A 'short frame' bunk bed for kids is 180+ cm by 80+ cm... I'm 5 foot 8 and would fit in it easily.

@Whoputtheramintheramalamadingdong I immediately thought of the darts player John Henderson, Hendo is his nickname. I thought something had happened to him so was rather relieved when I read the OP

I think the organiser should have booked a different place so that no one had to have a crap room

I’m really surprised that this vote has gone 50/50!

I think you’re really unreasonable.

How do you put a discount (and therefore extra cost to others) against a lower grade room vs sharing? It’s so personal. I couldn’t give a shit about mood lighting, and would happily have that and pay more not to share with someone.

You’re not paying £300 for a low grade room vs someone else getting a better room for £300.

You're paying £300 to celebrate with a friend.
To have a sauna and hot tub.
To watch a trashy as fuck stripper 🤮 (I really thought people had moved on from that… personally I’d be sitting that out and if I was upset about my £300 it was that £x of it was going on something as distasteful as that).

So how much of the £300 is actually “for the room”. Hardly any. So this discount you want - even if it was fair - is tiny.

Unless a hen do is a meal locally and maybe a pub after I ain't going. I think it might be too late to ask everyone to give a bit of extra money to make it that you pay less for your room. I don't think it's worth the argument now, but know for next time. Tricky thing is how much less do you expect to pay for the room, if that's the way forward?

Better than sharing is it not?

Are the sharers paying £300 each? Or £300 per room?

A mattress on the floor for two nights is not on when you're paying this amount, even if it is 'just for sleep'.

OP why don't you post a picture of the bunk bed room vs the 'luxuary' room to show the difference.

And a lamp, like Mary Poppins.

Oh yes, I was assuming the hen was the organiser. It didn't occur to me that there would be a different person organising, but I suppose it could be.

Someone was bragging that they knew the inner workings of a prestigious school - I can't remember which one, Eton or similar, and referred to the Head Master as 'Hendo' I did wonder if this thread was going to be the continuing tales of Hendo and his budgeting decisions.

OK, I wasn’t sure, it’s been some years since I’ve even seen a bunk bed! I still wouldn’t be happy though and wouldn’t want to attend.

OP also says there’s no wardrobe, so she’ll be living out of a suitcase. I’m baffled that the house is set up this way. Could the owners just not be bothered doing the last room?

PS When I saw this thread title I thought some trendy sleb called 'Hendo' that I'd never heard of had died. 😕

It's obviously not just a mattress on the floor. No hotel would have that as a room.

Mad you've all assumed mil is some frail old lady

Whatever her age, it's just respectful of the older person (and future MiL.)

Definitely- I would hate to share!

YABU

Someone has to have the smallest room. Rationale for it being you seems fair

And if you pay less due to the room allocation - where does that end? Other people wanting discounts because they wouldn't have chosen to book a house with a hot tub, didn't want a stripper, drank less alcohol than others, shared a room instead of having it to themselves, had a bedroom with no view........?

You were unlucky to get the worst room, but I suggest you suck it up. And don't moan to the organiser. It's a tough gig organising these events

Me too, quite disappointed.

Whilst I think that OP should arguably pay less than the people with a large ensuite room to herself, I would thing she should reasonably be paying more than the people sharing a room. If she goes down this route, I suspect that the sharers will then ask to pay less for their half a room and OP may end up paying more overall. I would have thought that the order of desirability of the rooms would be: Most desirable - large ensuite room to yourself, then small non ensuite room to yourself, then sharing a large ensuite room being the least desirable. I think OP has two choices - either suck it up, or ask to share with one of the other singles (MIL or pregnant person) for the same cost. What other options are there realistically?

Where are people seeing that the hen has an adult child? I assumed she was a skilled age to the OP. Either way, it's a courtesy in my opinion to let someone who is probably at least 20 years older to have the more comfortable room.

The whole thing sounds awful (hot tubs and strippers ??! ) but I’m a miserable sod who hates socialising 😅

they should have consulted you about the room, it was impolite not to. I’d ask for a discount or give an excuse and not go

Similar not skilled - autocorrect!

Hold on. That £300 isn't just for the room though is it. It's also your share of some of the activities. Plus it's not just the room. I'm assuming you'll get use of the communal parts of the house too.

I think suck it up tbh. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I’m really confused how if it’s a swanky cottage that one room is literally a mattress on the floor, children’s bunk beds (which presumably limits the type (or at least height) of people who can visit this doesn’t make sense from a filling the cottage for the owner’s pov) and no lighting, decoration etc? Surely people wanting to rent a fancy cottage with children don’t want to put them in such a cell like room? Did they get bored decorating at the last room?

I do sympathise but unfortunately somebody has to take the rubbish room and there may not have been an alternative cottage that would fit everyone without travelling miles and miles/upping the price. I don’t think I’d ask for a discount on the room as then you get into the sharing vs individual debate but perhaps you could ask if your share could be less for the food etc? Or maybe you could see if anyone is happy to swap if the price could be negotiated?

I do also feel sorry for the organiser - sounds like their logic has been good and they’ve tried to think of who would share comfortably, needs a bed etc. plus you get all the aggro of organising and the get expected to take the worst room to make it fair.