Hendo - Feel like crying!

[TeaPlzx]

Hi! First thread here. I'm (F/29) attending a close friends hen do, there's 9 of us staying in a large, swanky cottage (pool, hot tub, sauna, etc.) The bedrooms are made up of multiple king size/double rooms and there's one small room with a bunk bed (designed for kids) and pull-out single (mattress on the floor). I can't express how different this room is to the others, imagine an empty room, with tiny kids bunks and a mattress, that's the extent of it. No wardrobe, no cosy lighting, etc.

Each person has paid approx. £300 for a 2 night stay, including a stripper at the venue and food. Alcohol will have to be purchased separately...
Everyone has been placed in double/king sized rooms (some are sharing, but others not), all with ensuits, however, I've been assigned (without discussion) the small room on my own, without bathroom (will use the "family" shared bathroom). I feel this anger, that I'm paying the same as everyone else, they're all in 5* luxury beds with their own bathrooms and I'm on a pull-out style frame/matress on the floor.

I'm most frustrated that it wasn't even discussed with me, just assigned/assumed I'd take that room. I've briefly raised it with the organiser and she's stated she offered the largest rooms to those sharing (mostly siblings/mums with daughters) and the other two people who aren't sharing (like me), one is pregnant and the other is mother of the stag. Am I unreasonable to still feel upset and not want to be in the tiny bedroom with mattress on the floor? If she feels too embarrassed to allocate that room to MIL, or to herself even, why should I be in there?
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I'm feeling VERY bitter about it al.

I’d be disappointed and I wouldn’t want to pay the same as the others. I always book my own room when I go on a hen do these days, after a chief bridesmaid allocated me and a well built female copper a shared sofa bed in an Airbnb for two nights that meant 1) not being able to go to bed until everyone else had finished with the living room and 2) we kept waking each other up every time we moved.

I don't think you can necessarily argue that you should pay significantly less, when everyone else is sharing.
I don't really see the issue with a mattress on the floor unless you have mobility issues maybe ? I think you might like your own space.

I just wouldn’t go. If it costs the rest of them extra, tough.

Or, look at hotels near where you’re staying and ask for your money back and book in to one of those. Very unfair and if the organisers “can’t expect” certain people to sleep in that room, then why should OP?

Cut the organiser some slack. These things are a nightmare to organise. Someone was always going to be unhappy. Just tell yourself it's only a bloody bed and try and relax and enjoy everything else

It’s difficult because people who are sharing are paying the same price as the OP who has a room to herself. So, I think it just easier for everyone to pay the same.

I think it all sounds fair enough tbh. MIL is older, may want to go to bed earlier and be spending more time in the room. Pregnant friend also may want to go to bed earlier and based on my pregnant friend I shared a bed with on a hen do, be tossing all night and up to the loo multiple times, she shouldn’t share and a floor bed would be horrific to get in and out of if she’s far along. Kids bed but own your own actually seems like a really good deal! Nor do I think you deserve a discount, why should someone sharing a double bed pay more than you?

And me, I brought my buns ready.

Who do you think should go in there? If someone has to, and it shouldn't be you, who do you deem lowly enough to take that room?

Sounds like she has carefully considered and found the best solution for everyone. Like others I'd much rather that than share a room.

If this has you almost it's tears you're probably a bit too sensitive for a group weekend.

But on that basis OP should be paying less than everyone else.

I think it’s bloody cheeky having you pay the same as others.

Is the price per room? The OP says it's £300 'each'.

Obviously those sharing get the bigger rooms.

Why do you think you should get a big room all to yourself?

Why do you think the pregnant lady should sleep on the floor?

Why do you think the elderly mother (maybe not OP but clearly old enough to be our mothers) should sleep on the floor?

Why do you think the person of honor should take the small room at HER party?

Honestly you sound like a very self involved, entitled person and are coming across as a shitty friend, You seem to think it should be all about you but its not your party and its perfectly logical why its worked out like that.

Frankly I would appreciate being the lucky one that doesn't have to share and being able to actually sleep without others snoring or hogging the blanket.

Why do you need to sleep on the floor if there's a bunk bed? Bunk beds are full size singles.

Good point she keeps saying 'kids bed' but theres no such thing as a 'toddler bunk bed' and a kids bed is the same size as a single bed.

Like Im confused by how small OP thinks a bunk bed could be.

It’s better any usually more expensive to have a room to your self than to share a large room with someone else

Agree that it sounds like she's done her best with what's available. Plus the £300 isn't just for the room, it's for the food and entertainment too.

Once you've taken off the cost of that, any adjustment in the perceived value in the rooms is going to be tiny. It's just not worth making an issue of and, as it's a social occasion, you'll only be sleeping and getting ready in it, and many would see having your own room for that as an advantage.

Was the accommodation miss sold ie were you (or whoever booked it) not aware that someone would have to use a crappy room?

I think you'll be fine in a bunk bed, won't you?

Fair enough you got the small room and I'm sure you will be fine but it should be charged out like it would be a hotel/B&B - not every room is the same price. No I do not think it is fair in respect of the price OP.

If they all have en-suites, won’t you have sole use of the family bathroom? Someone has to have it, perhaps should have been at a discount, but I’m sure the organised wouldn’t have seen the actual rooms until they got there. Crying and feeling very bitter seems a bit of an overreaction

We have group holidays, and you should get a discount on the per room price.

Definitely don’t book into a hotel or make a fuss. As others have said, it can be a total nightmare organizing these things and you don’t want to be that person. It’s a couple of nights. You’ll be fine. Have a great time!

It depends; one of my friends has what is called a ‘day bed’ as the spare. I’m only 5’ 2” and I used to find it tiny (I wasn’t overweight when I used to stay over either) . The duvets are small as well, turn over and you’re half uncovered. The organiser should have put herself and her daughter in there if it’s OK for you, OP.

But it's not £300 for the room, such that you could pay £300 and get a nice hotel room, it's £300 for the whole weekend excluding drinks. So if you paid for a separate hotel room you would still have to contribute to the food , stripper, and whatever else the £300 covers. And you would probably feel that you'd missed out by being the only person not staying with the others.

I agree with many pp that the money could have been split differently to give a discount to the person in that room, but it doesn't sound like you've got a really awful deal. It's hard to see why you couldn't sleep in a bunk bed, assuming it's a standard size single, it's unlikely (in a house that is regularly rented out) to be anything less. Do you know how much of the £300 is the accommodation cost?

MiL is presumably older than you, of course it's better to prioritize her comfort. Also as she's going to be the bride's MiL. :)

Same goes for the pregnant hen.

But assuming there were enough similar rooms, you should've had one.
But if there's not, then there's not an alternative where you could be placed.
I suppose it could've been arranged that you could've paid less for the smaller room.