Hendo - Feel like crying!

[TeaPlzx]

Hi! First thread here. I'm (F/29) attending a close friends hen do, there's 9 of us staying in a large, swanky cottage (pool, hot tub, sauna, etc.) The bedrooms are made up of multiple king size/double rooms and there's one small room with a bunk bed (designed for kids) and pull-out single (mattress on the floor). I can't express how different this room is to the others, imagine an empty room, with tiny kids bunks and a mattress, that's the extent of it. No wardrobe, no cosy lighting, etc.

Each person has paid approx. £300 for a 2 night stay, including a stripper at the venue and food. Alcohol will have to be purchased separately...
Everyone has been placed in double/king sized rooms (some are sharing, but others not), all with ensuits, however, I've been assigned (without discussion) the small room on my own, without bathroom (will use the "family" shared bathroom). I feel this anger, that I'm paying the same as everyone else, they're all in 5* luxury beds with their own bathrooms and I'm on a pull-out style frame/matress on the floor.

I'm most frustrated that it wasn't even discussed with me, just assigned/assumed I'd take that room. I've briefly raised it with the organiser and she's stated she offered the largest rooms to those sharing (mostly siblings/mums with daughters) and the other two people who aren't sharing (like me), one is pregnant and the other is mother of the stag. Am I unreasonable to still feel upset and not want to be in the tiny bedroom with mattress on the floor? If she feels too embarrassed to allocate that room to MIL, or to herself even, why should I be in there?
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I'm feeling VERY bitter about it al.

See if anyone who is sharing wants to swap.

I'd gladly pay the same as everyone else to have my own room rather than sharing a bed with anyone. In fact I'd have refused to go or have that property booked if there was a chance I'd have to share a bed with someone.

Imagine, on top of sleeping on the floor, also taking your own bedding!

@Fink I have a grown up daughter and am in my 40s! It's really really possible.

I think you're beign ridiculous

Did anyone else think that "Hendo" was the new peloton or clothes-folding method something?

Like others have said her reasoning makes sense and as the organiser I don't think she should be in the smaller room because she will have put a lot of work into the weekend but I do agree you shouldn't have to pay the same as others have.

I'd be delighted to have my own room, I'd hate to be sharing with other people.

I too thought this was going to be about Henderson's relish. Disappointed.

Her reasoning does sound fair, it just seems like you should be offered a discount. I think you should ask for that very reasonably and calmly, don't bother arguing about which one of the other people should have had to go in the lesser room.

Ask for a discount. Or drop out- they’re not the greatest frieNd to you if they haven’t even thought about how making you stay in a lower quality room for the same money will affect you.

@OneFrenchEgg

I’ve got a grown-up son, and I’m 39! 😂

Bagsy the top bunk 😂

Meh it's a bit shitty but probably balances out if the others are paying the same and sharing. Her reasons sound fair (MIL maybe the least fair but I suppose the bride has to be seen to make the effort). If it's genuinely uncomfortable then see if the others can spare any bedding, or others are hogging the shared bathroom then speak up but tbh I think it's just one of those things rather than you being deliberately overlooked.

Ignore those on here who are missing the point and saying how they'd love a room of their own/at least you'll probably get the bathroom mostly to yourself
£300 for what sounds like a squat is outrageous.

@OneFrenchEgg

fight you for it!

Yes but clearly your mother isn't in her 40s, too, which was the point the pp was making.

Why not make the best of a shitty situation? It could be perfectly comfortable if she is able to take a few home comforts. Better than sitting in scratchy sheets cursing the rest of the house.

So did I! I'm not watching the match out of principle and thought he'd broken his leg or something!

That does seem unfair to be honest. As the Bride, she should offer to take the smaller room because at the end of the day she is lucky that you are all going along. I know it's her wedding etc., but this is added expense and in her position I would be privileged that my guests cared enough about me to pay out so much to spend a weekend with me. Failing that, you should pay half the rate and no more and the Bride should stump up the rest. At my own very modest Hen Do (Small meal out) I was so happy that a few of my friends gave up their time that I paid for half the meal and they paid the rest between them. I also bought decorations and flowers for the table (and let the guests take them home) and provided extra sweets, cakes etc, as a thank you for people giving up their time to be with me as I celebrated a very happy time in my life. I think these swanky weekends away have a lot to answer for when they leave guests feeling out of pocket and upset. Your friend may have thought her reasoning was spot on but it wasn't; it's made you feel less valued and that is not on. I would be embarrassed to even suggest this. Please don't let her make you feel less worthy - you are not. Big Hug x

@TeaPlzx i would be annoyed but equally I don’t think she had much choice. Someone always drawers the short straw in situations like this and unfortunately it’s you! I would be inclined to let it go- it if it really bothers you send a message saying does anyone fancy swapping. Or kick up a fuss and say you’ll find a hotel instead as would be better and cheaper

@purpleboy I read that was the organiser - is the hen the same as the organiser because I assumed same age as op (late 20s)

I know some people are saying that someone had to have that room.

However, I feel that the organiser shouldn't have booked that accommodation in the first place as there aren't enough suitable rooms for you all!

Why is she being ridiculous?!? She's paying the exact same as those in the 5** star luxury rooms with 5 star luxury beds ffs!

Yes, but there's another generation in between. I too will still be in my 40s by the time my eldest is a legal adult, I wouldn't say that's too unusual. But here we're talking about the future MIL of someone who has an adult child. So three generations of adults. It would be very unusual to have an adult granddaughter while still in your 40s. We don't know the age difference between the hen and her future DH, or what age any of these women were when they had children, but it sounds unlikely that the MIL would be under 60, quite possibly considerably older.

How are the bunk beds only suitable for kids? If we go away as a family we generally get a Family room and another room with twin beds. Family rooms often come with bunk beds. My adult kids take the bunk beds and they are over 6’, haven’t had bunk beds yet that have been unsuitable or they couldn’t fit into.

@Fink yes if the organiser and the hen are the same, and the daughter is an adult