...to ask what my wife's thought process is, in this situation?

[WalkingOnTheCracks]

Married twenty years. Pretty early on I mentioned that I don't like v-neck jumpers. I mean, it's not a huge deal. It wasn't mentioned in the wedding speeches. It's not something I felt I had to get straight even before we got serious. It's just one of those things that comes up at some point, and it came up within the first year or so, I guess.

But every couple of years, my wife will buy me a v-neck jumper for Christmas. I open it and I don't need to say anything, because she gets in first.

"I know it's a v-neck, but it's such a lovely blue!"

"I know you don't like v-necks, but it's cashmere!"

"...it's just perfect for your eye colour."

"...I thought you could wear it to Sally and Mike's next week."

"...it's from Harrods!"

They always end up being taken back.

But - leaving aside the question of why I don't like v-necks, which I think I'm allowed - what I'm interested to know is what she's thinking when she buys them. Does she think, "Well, this one's just irresistible. Even WoTC will love this." Or does she just think that my aversion to v-necks is a passing phase? Or not worthy of consideration?

She doesn't like sarongs. If I persisted in the attempt to buy her a sarong every other Christmas, there'd be ructions.

Why does she keep at it?

I would guess she really, really wants to see you in a v-neck! Maybe her first crush only wore v-necks and it sends her weak at the knees?

She's trying to impose her clothing choices on you. Resist!

Is she trying to smarten you up ?

My guess: she thinks you would look good in v-necks and is trying to win you round.

Fuck knows what she's thinking but please buy her a sarong. Then another and another.
It's the only way forward,

Sit her down, take her hands in yours, look her in the eyes, lean forward and ask 'Why do you keep buying me V necks when you know I don't like them and we always end up taking them back so it's a waste of your time and money to keep on buying them?' and see what she says.

Just a thought but worth a try.

She really likes men in v necks and wishes you would wear them because whatever it is you are wearing now she feels doesn't suit you.

After 20yrs of marriage, I doubt MrsWoTC needs to win him around. 🤔

My DH hates checked or paterned shirts. If I like a shirt that much, I buy it for me to wear. 🤷‍♀️

Have you thought about treating yourself to a new round or crew neck jumper for Christmas 😉

She thinks you look nice in V necks?

Be honest - is the base of your neck very sexy?

Yeah, she likes men in them and wants you to wear one.

Buy the sarong, if she gives you another jumper then give her the sarong but that might backfire if it means getting you in the jumper.

I'd have the conversation me. A proper one so it sticks.

I world become to disappointed if my partner insisted on contouring buying me something he knew i would not like. It's not the end of the world but it's rude and uncaring. By the way, your life about wedding vows made me chuckle. Perhaps you could renew your vows and add this in as a sub clause.

What has she said when you’ve asked her this perfectly reasonable question?

I think you've just put your finger on the basic weakness of his complaint here.

Of course I've asked her. And the answer is always a vague, "I thought you might like this one..." Usually followed by "Why are you so unreasonable?"

In other words, she doesn't feel she needs to justify buying me a v-neck. She feels I have to justify not wanting one.

I honestly do not know what her thought process is. The first few years I might think she’s thinking the v-neck is just a mild feeling of meh & wear anyway. But after twenty years you’d think she’d have realised this is an enduring and absolute aversion to v-necks?

Id honestly be tempted the next time she gave me one, is to just toss it in the corner and say “one for the charity bag”

Or go “ha hah this cannot be my gift as you know how much I hate v-necks. Very funny gag gift, now where’s my real gift?”

After twenty years I think you can resort to brutal honesty.

I'd find that annoying, OP.

I'd say you have two options:

1. show her this thread

2. Buy her a sarong

I think she thinks you'll look good in it. She thinks V-necks are smart, sexy and she wants to see you wear one.

Welcome OP, you've come to the right place! Some people make the mistake of trying to talk to their partners, those fools don't know that this fantastic forum exists where you have women on tap to answer all of your 'what these mad wimmin like, eh?' queries. Now let me tap into the hive mind that all we women share, locate your wife, and find out exactly what her thought process is. Back in a second.

I can't answer your question because if DH had told me he didn't like something I wouldn't buy it.
We actually listen to each other.

It's a bit like the reverse of the man buying his partner sexy underwear.

If this were my dh buying me sarongs when I have made it clear I dont like them I would have no qualms about saying "please do not buy me another sarong - I fucking despise them and it makes me think you really don't like me very much". Would that help do you think? After 20 years you should be able to to honest with one another?

Or maybe she doesn't like you and this is her p.a. way of telling you!

ROAR

Is the jumper the only thing she buys you? Maybe she just really doesn’t know what to get you and falls back on a jumper as an easy option even though she knows you won’t like that either?

I have no idea what your wife is thinking but I think you could say "remember, I don't like V neck jumpers so please don't get me one"

This is absolutely bizarre behaviour from her tbh.