My DS (16) is autistic. He wasn't diagnosed until he was 11 and had left primary school. One of the key ways it manifests is issues with understanding social cues (and sometimes NT ways of behaving). He left primary school with a small group of friends (lets call them John, Tom, James and Jack here) but was slightly peripheral to the group. John is an unusually kind, sensitive and diplomatic boy and has maintained contact and meets up with DS now and then.
DS hasn't made friends in secondary school so John - and very very occasionally Tom, James and Jack too - are the only people he socialises with, and only once a month or less. My DS is a very happy, amiable and generally well-balanced kid with lots of interests including one particular area that he excels at, spends most of his free time on and is likely to study at university. I am fervently hoping he will make friends once he can focus on his special interest full-time.
John told my DS that there is a reunion next weekend of the whole primary school class (25 kids) in Tom's house and my DS was excited about this and at the prospect of seeing all his class again and going to a party as he has only been invited to a few small D&D/pizza type parties since leaving primary school, and only ever by the John, Tom etc group. But my DS didn't receive an invitation from the host himself, and so I wonder if they intended to include him or not, and whether I should dissuade or encourage him from going?
I know Tom's mum well, do you think it would be completely awkward overkill if I called and asked her? DS has often been excluded in the past, I'll assume not out of cruelty, but because he didn't engage much with others and would get upset at misbehaviour by others so he could have been a drag on other kids in getting very emotional about what they thought were minor things when he was 8-9-10 years old. He's more relaxed now.
Sorry for the long explanation - and if anyone has any ideas about how to encourage a boy with ASD to socialise more, please do let me know as he enjoys social contact but just can't seem to initiate it despite much encouragement and discussion of strategies. He's involved in lots of clubs and sport etc, so it's not for want of contact with others who have shared interests.
And for anyone who thinks I shouldn't be involved with a 16 year old's social life well, it's just how things are with my DS who needs a lot of support in this area.