Being honest, if it didn't hurt anyone would you want this?

[Blubba]

I was thinking about this last night and although I absolutely love my husband, if I knew it wouldn't hurt him, I'd love to have a more open relationship and I wondered how many people would also prefer that if they knew it wouldn't cause upset / hurt to their spouse or partner?

In reality, my husband would never agree and so I'd never bring it up as I know it would cause an issue the fact I'd even brought it up but in an alternate universe where it wouldn't cause any upset, I think I'd prefer it to a complete monogamy.

Anyone else?

YABU - Even if I could do so without causing any problems in my relationship, I still wouldn't.

YANBU - I would prefer a more open relationship IF it didn't affect my current relationship/marriage.

YABU. I'm with my husband because I love him and very happy with him.

You can't be very happy in your marriage to want others on the side lines.

People who want open relationships don’t really love their partner’s romantically.
Most of the time they don’t want to be single but don’t want to really be with the person they are with.

I’d be tempted to, I think it’s probably a lot more ‘natural’ than complete monogamy.

I personally don't believe that human beings are naturally monogamous. Very few animals are. If we were, surely there would be very few affairs.

I don't think that being polyamorous means that someone is in a bad relationship.

I’d never be attracted to someone who thought this way. To me it’s just about sex, so I couldn’t be arsed to be with someone who put sex with someone else, so high on their priorities.

As a fantasy for me then I'd say yes, I would be open to it, but in reality I know I would hate it. I love my husband and wouldn't want to be with anyone else, and the thought of him with someone else would drive me crazy.

God no, I wouldn’t have the time 😂

Is there someone in mind you want to sleep with? That’s usually what drives a spouse to desire an open relationship- it’s basically wishing you had permission to have an affair?
Or feeling unsatisfied by your husband.

I’m happy having multiple partners as fantasy, I think the reality wouldn’t live up to that!

No. I love my husband, no interest elsewhere.

Absolutely not for me, I'd be heartbroken if my OH ever suggested it.

Have you forgotten about Ted Beneke?

I wouldn't want to, but I suspect my husband wouldn't mind. I don't think he would want to either, but he's definitely more confident and liberal than I am in that regard; he claims he wouldn't be upset if I were unfaithful (but he'd question if I had a long-standing affair, as in 'wtf are you doing here') - of course you never know for sure until these things happen to you.

FWIW, I disagree with other posters who say this means you don't love your partner. While for me sex and love mostly go hand in hand (even before I met my husband, I didn't have casual sex, and I didn't want to have it, I didn't have the desire), I understand that's not the case for everyone.

It's a shame you and your husband are not on the same page in this regard. Is monogamy something you can compromise on without being unhappy?

I always hear this but I think it's nonsense. It's not more natural, there are many Anaximander that are monogamous, usually the most intelligent ones

Animals!*

I love my husband but I'd be happy having other lovers. I would not be at all happy with my husband being with anyone else though, and that's far more important to me, so monogamy it is!

No I don’t think I would. I crave intimacy more than sex and I’ve only ever enjoyed sex with my man now because I love him. Before it was all a bit rubbish to be honest.

God no, I can barely be arsed with one man, never mind more.

God no. Absolutely couldn't be bothered. Ones enough!

SmileyClare · Today 10:04
MrsSkylerWhite · Today 10:02
No. I love my husband, no interest elsewhere.

“Have you forgotten about Ted Beneke?”

Touche 🤣 Tbf, it was one at a time.

Probably yes.

Not loads or that often. But as a 'little sip' as I think the French call it.

Also, I believe opening up a relationship increases the chances of one of you falling in love with someone else, as sex can sooo easily evolve into something more complicated.

Would you be open to your partner leaving you for someone else? Would you be open to the emotional, social, logistical and financial consequences of that?

Monogamy is not the end all be all, and it's definitely not the easiest path for a lot of people, but it sure as hell is the most practical option, the most secure and the one that protects families best. Of course it can still all go to shit, but if your partner lied to you/fell in love with their affair partner, I think they'd have done exactly the same had they been in an open relationship with you.

I wouldn't because of the time and emotional resources I would be spending on just one part of my life. My DH is enough for me, and further relationships would take me away from the other important things that make up a life (other types of relationships being one of them), but also just career, hobbies, health... you only get 4000 weeks (if we are fortunate) don't you know!

Look up Celebration Town in Florida. A place that was known for "open relationships / swingers" and then aftermath was devastating. Loads of divorces and broken families.

Sounds wonderful in your head but there is a reason why deep down you know it is Morally wrong. Because it is wrong and nothing good comes out of it.

My only suggestion is that you have become desensitized to monogamy through whatever means - online media and material, glorification of adultery etc etc. So you need to retrain your mind perhaps.

And if that's was not enough if you look up the idea of this from psychologists they all agree this is not good for families and society.

This. But unless you met on a swinging site or similar, the chances of not hurting anyone are low

I feel exactly the same @Sleeptightnightlight !

Honestly no. I don't want any other man. The idea is very off putting to me.