Rude text from holiday let .. how to control children’s mess.

[Nogg]

I feel a bit upset. I got this really rude shaming message from a short ( 2 month) rental owner I was staying in. Saying I left it a mess/ unclean with small damages. That it didn’t smell nice etc
I feel a bit mortified as the lady was nice. I thought I’d cleaned it ok but she disagreed. So embarrassing.
There was no dining table do had to eat on sofa . No hoover so I bought my own albeit cheap one.
So now I’m thinking maybe I am not making enough effort. I try to control kids 4 and 7. I wfh full tube plus extra. There is so little time with work, school and basics to cover. I try to stop youngest kid from making a mess but he (and actually both seem really messy eating ) and youngest is generally destructive. I’m always telling off, nagging and cleaning but maybe I don’t do enough or maybe I’m not very good at it.
how can I get kids not to make a mess. Feel really upset at myself! I am always nagging but kids don’t change or listen.

Kids eating on the sofa will always make a mess. Their posture would have been all wrong. I would have a bought a small table and chairs.

Is this about mess as in learning to tidy or cleaning? As those ages I would expect them to tidy but not clean.

Can't you get them a kids table and chair set. They should not be eating on the couch, that is just bad habits. My ds sits at the table but he uses his kids table if he is eating a snack. He is never eating walking or jumping around, and especially not on the couch.

Yes now I’m in my own house I have a table. This was temporary accommodation because of moving delay.

I stayed with a relative as well and she complained about their messy eating.

I feel really embarrassed I didn’t think I was that bad. The owner of the let was pretty annoyed though and quite nasty!

Surely you just clean up after them?

Give yourself a break OP... kids make mess.
Property owner should have said no kids if they dont want kid mess!

Well I did clean. I thought I did a ok job but maybe I didn’t and I feel awfull. I was very busy moving. I think generally I need to tighten up on the cleaning and not having food in certain areas. I just feel really embarrassed !

I think you just came on here for people to say do t worry kids makes mess but you probably know that it was unacceptable and you need to be tidier and teach the kids if they drop stuff they need to pick it up and wipe it clean

You have alot on your plate. Kids make a mess. If the place didn't even have a hoover what does she expect? Don't be so hard on your kids and yourself. Good you have your own place now.

my DS is quite good at destroying things. He is very wrong. I tell him not to etc but I don’t know how he does it. He just is very heavy handed .

Well if you’ve left I wouldn’t worry. If she didn’t provide a hoover or table and chairs then it’s tricky isn’t it?

Young children are messy and you sound like you are doing your best. Landladies/lords can be funny. I once lost my entire deposit because I left ‘dust on the lampshade’ in the lounge. I’d have needed a ladder to dust up there. If you’ve cleaned to the best of your ability then don’t give it another thought.

If the relative you stayed with also complained about the mess there seems to be something in it.
Kids are messy, but you need to be the one to clean up after them. Did you leave the rental property unclean?

You've acknowledged that your kids are messy, you say that they are heavy handed the rental lady and a family member have confirmed this.
I don't get what you are asking?

Kids do make a mess, but if 2 people have commented on your children’s messy eating then maybe they are making more mess than normal.

My 3 and 5 year old rarely make a mess when eating,. They pay attention to what they are doing, make sure the food hits their mouths and tidy up if they do make crumbs. Maybe you need to work with them on this.

2 people are telling you that your kids are messy.

I'd be mortified and embarrassed too.

I would say no food except at kitchen table - that goes for the adults too.

I don’t know what I’m asking just really I feel bad and guilty. I never meant to leave a mess I thought I had tidied cleaned ok but obviously not.

I try my best but others seem to think it’s not good enough so I don’t know.

i could get a cleaner but this would not solve the day to day mess.

maybe this is the wake up call for me to be on top of the messy eating all the time.

There is so little time with work, school and basics to cover. I try to stop youngest kid from making a mess but he (and actually both seem really messy eating ) and youngest is generally destructive.

Nope working full time is really not an excuse to not look after something you don’t own.
It’s down to you to deal with their mess.

Kids make a mess. We teach them not to. They earnestly agree to do better, then forget and do it all over again - that’s kids for you. 😬 The parents just have to tidy it up, particularly when away from home.

It was harder to tidy it up if there wasn’t a hoover, but not impossible. Just pickup any big bits of food and wash the rest with washing-up liquid.

I think what’s important here is to look at what went wrong. It isn’t the kids being messy, that’s expected at this age. Things that went wrong were

• Taking young kids to stay somewhere with no eating area
• letting them eat on sofa (given a choice between sitting on floor or eating on a smart sofa, I’d put a 4 yr old on the floor on top of a towel and call it a picnic).
• not clearing up enough after them. If there were food stains on the sofa / carpet you should have scrubbed it out with hand soap or washing up liquid.

As to any smell, the airbnb cleaner should air out the property surely.

Ps it’s also possible that the airbnb owner is just an asshole. 👀 I wouldn’t tell your kids off more on a daily basis because of her.

Are you serious?

I agree that kids make mess but this can be largely mitigated by, for example, teaching them to eat properly, not letting them eat on the sofa or 'be destructive'!

As for the idea that, because a hoover wasn't provided, it is acceptable to leave the place in a state. This isn't a long-weekend holiday let, this is a short-term rental. Cleaning, including cleaning equipment, is the responsibility of the tenant.

Reading the original post again I'm starting to wonder whether this is a genuine poster of someone on the wind-up. I know people often refer to 'entitled parenting' but surely nobody believe that damage to a rental property is acceptable because, you know, 'kids will be kids'.

Please, PLEASE tell me this is a wind up and I just took the bait!

Lots of children are messy eaters so that's normal, but unfortunately if yours are (mine are too) then it's more work for you to keep someone else's house clean.

Eating on the sofa would have been a big fat no from day one for me otherwise you're going to be constantly cleaning off marks and likely will have stains or damage that can't be removed sooner rather than later (plus crumbs and spills down between the cushions).

You might find a cheap folding table and chairs from Argos / children's table and chairs from Ikea or similar and a vinyl tablecloth spread on the floor would be worth the investment if it happened again.

I did clean everything: dishes etc toilets bathroom, bins. Hoover ( cheapest Asda hoover) wipe all coaches etc, maybe I’m not great at cleaning. I do rush things sometimes.

It sounds like you left stains on the sofa, your “generally destructive” child caused damage, and you didn’t vacuum up your mess very well before leaving?

Thats not just “kids being kids” and will have cost the landlord money and time to put right before they could relet. Apologise and offer to compensate. Where is your kids’ dad? What input does he have into controlling their bad behaviour? Four years old is plenty old enough to be able to be firmly told that “destroying things” is unacceptable and be disciplined if they do.

I suppose the question is - did you leave the rental in the same state as it was when you moved in? If they were eating on the sofa, was it stained, did it have crumbs and other food detritus down the sides and back of the cushions? Were there crumbs and bits of food underneath it? Some rentals are left in a disgusting state, but for 2 months it shouldn't have been that bad? Did the property owner go into specifics about what she was unhappy about?

No matter how messy your kids eat I'd expect you to leave it as you found it (take photos if you need to.) You say the landlord and your relative complained and you keep saying you left it ok, that doesn't sound good.