Husband converted to Islam

[newbookonshelf]

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

Have you spoken to him about it? Maybe he's on his own spiritual journey.

I’d wonder if we were still compatible, it’s a pretty big changing of the goal posts

I'm not sure. We are both British.
He said he's not changing into a different person.
I know a bit about Islam as worked in the community during my career, have friends who are Muslim.

I am probably not going to also convert since I've not chosen any religion but do believe in "God" (whatever it is) I see no need to label myself.

Of course I'm going to be speaking him about it but just posting here also.

yeah for sure that's what it is. Me too! Just don't want or feel like I need a label

Do you have children ? If so, what are his intentions there ?

I'd be asking questions about the extent to which he expects the lifestyle element of Islam to be followed by the rest of the household; does he expect you to give up bacon butties and pinot grigio, or your children to not have boyfriends and girlfriends when older? (Big fat no to all of the above from me).

Converts to any religion can be quite vulnerable, and the Zeal of the Convert is a real thing.

Personally I'd be treating it much as if he'd got a new hobby in terms of the impact I allowed on myself and the family. I'd no more be converting to Islam because he did than taking up golf because he did.

It would be a deal breaker for me but that's because I am atheist.

This is interesting because, as a Muslim, I would hope he has converted with knowledge of what he’s doing and a support system in place - converts are very vulnerable. Does he have specific reasons for converting? Was it very sudden?

I can understand it must be a huge change for you, but if he is a ‘proper’ Muslim then he isn’t supposed to force you into changing anything as it is his decision alone. Again, really important he is being supported by a healthy and knowledgeable group.

if you have any questions or want to drop a private message, please feel free. X

As an ex religious person I wouldn’t be able to accept this. But it sounds like you’re both looking for something to believe in and guide you so apparently he’s found his.

Sparkletastic · Today 09:15
It would be a deal breaker for me but that's because I am atheist.“

This.

I'd be asking questions about the extent to which he expects the lifestyle element of Islam to be followed by the rest of the household

This would be my first concern as well.

Bumping this for how helpful it is!

It would make me wonder how someone i thought i knew intimately, could do something so out of character . It would me wonder what i didn't know about him. It would make me question everything and would probably be a deal breaker.

Yep, same.

I'd be dumping him.

Yup.

I can imagine it must be a shock to you. My advice would be to take things slowly, one day at a time and see how things develop. I have observed a number of male converts to Islam. In terms of family life, many do just continue as normal. They do understand that if they have teenage children who have been brought up in a different way prior to their conversion that they can't realistically expect to influence or change their lifestyle choices, through any kind of coercion or imposition.

He is probably still finding himself. I wouldn't make any hasty decisions.

From my own experience the one thing about people who convert to a religion at an adult age, they may want to "save" everyone else too. My dad was one of them, a Christian convert, took him decades to stop trying to convert others. It can get tiring but hopefully your DH won't be Like that.

It would be a total deal breaker for me and I would leave.

For me it would very much depend on what he expected the rest of the household to do. If this was his own personal journey and he just needed my support then great. If he expected me to convert for example then it would be a no.

That's really interesting. Would you feel the same if your husband converted to any other belief system? What if he converted to Judaism or became a Hindu?

Why.
He may be wanting to experience a spiritual journey.

If he does not force OP into something they dont want to do then OP should not stop him.

Maybe just sit and talk to him. What are your concerns.

Are there changes he will be making you can't live with?
I guess no alcohol and pork for him.
I would sit and talk to him about your concerns and see what happens.

But ultimately it is his choice of wants to adopt the religion and your choice to be with him.

Why would you think it wouldn’t? To an atheist one religion is the same as another, all equally nonsense. That’s how I feel anyway.

Having said that, I also believe people have a right to believe in whatever they want, but I’d make very clear to him OP, that it’s him that’s converted, not me, so not to start trying to push it on me in any way.

The best person to talk to is your husband or perhaps any Muslims he has met that led him to become a Muslim eventually. Perhaps he became a Muslim without the people. Only he can give that information. But if there are people, talking to them will bring ease to you.
As a Muslim, I don't see it as a big deal as others are here. There's a negative connotation because of the media but if he follows Islam properly, he will be an even better husband, father, son, brother, colleague and so on.
Most people ask themselves, what is the purpose of life? And if he has found that in Islam then it may be because of the Qur'an being the only unchanged book. It could be because of the descriptions of the hereafter. It could maybe be the focus on performing Salat 5 times a day. Only he could give you those answers.
How close are you both? What is your relationship like?
He probably has some good backing especially if he is not forcing it on you.
I'd sit and ask him questions as you won't really get positive replies here unfortunately.
We wouldn't accept that a phone is made without a creator yet nowadays the idea is pushed that the best of creation (humans) have been made without a Creator. If your husband thought this then he had a handful of religions to choose from and ended with Islam. Ask him his reasons.
I met someone whose husband had converted to Islam. She then went to find out what Islam is for herself and eventually became Muslim too but she is much more strong in her faith than he is.