Husband converted to Islam

[newbookonshelf]

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

I would want to know what his conversion meant for your family and what triggered it.

You don't just convert to a religion straight off the bat.

How will he reconcile this with the teachings in the Quran on raising your children as Muslims?

It’s not though is it? Pretty much all religions have at least a history of misogyny and pushing the idea that women should submit to men.

Has he had the snippy snippy? Would he expect a ds to have it done?

On a personal level, Islam is totally incompatible with my lifestyle and outlook.

In my mind, it's no different to him choosing another woman.

Are you a practising Christian who believes the word of the Bible? So worship no god but me, beware of false prophets etc?

Give it time.

I’d be happy if he was on his own spiritual journey, and maybe going to evening classes, but if he formally converted to something like Islam, where so much of the religion is seeped in a culture very different to my own, with an attitude to women I am not comfortable with, and a religious book with the type of messages contained in the koran eg re treatment of non-believers and women who have sex outside marriage, etc - I’d be concerned, very concerned, that we might no longer be compatible.

I’d be worried that this process was no longer about his relationship with the divine, and instead about him wanting to belong to a community where he feels important/superior to me. I’d wonder why his current community and social life wasn’t enough for him and I’d be worried that he’d become controlling towards his family.

Relevance?

But bigredbananafeet....Christianity and Islam have the same basis. They believe in the same god, the same prophets etc
Jesus is an important prophet in Islam. The old testament and the koran have all the same stories.

You both believe in the same God so it's not that you have completely opposing views. I'm a Christian and my partner is Pagan, so for that reason I wouldn't have had children with him as the belief systems are just too different. We met later in life though and get on really well despite not being on the same spiritual path.

You say you were both on a spiritual journey so he's not been radicalised or anything, he's just found what he was looking for maybe? I wouldn't want to be giving up wine and bacon though so as long as that's safe I'd probably just sit back and see what transpires.

Like a pp I am a Christian married to a North African Muslim. If his conversion is something very personal to him and he doesn't try to impose things on the family then it may have little impact.

However, some of the converts I have spoken to seem more intense in their religious practise than DH and his family (even though DH prays 5x a day, sticks to Halal, doesn't drink etc.) If your DH starts trying to impose his beliefs on the family then how will you deal with that. Our DC are Muslim but we had discussed that in detail before we got married let alone had children. I don't think you can impose decisions like that after the event.
My biggest concern is who is he taking advice from? I am assuming he doesn't read Arabic so he is reliant on translations and people explaining the Qur'an and Hadith to him. There are some excellent people who will explain things appropriately and guide him on a sensible path but there are also others who may not do so. If he can't read the text for himself, he is limited in his ability to question what he is being told.

Christians believe Jesus was Christ not a prophet.

Everyone's coping mechanism with life is different. Maybe he just wants meaning and purpose in life hence the spiritual journey (that's his choice). I wouldn't think too much of it. Unless something was concerning you or your way life is drastically going to change.

Thank you. I think the leaving him stuff is over the top. We communicate very well. I will remain non religious but I'm not an atheist, it seems atheists have the more extreme view. I've ever been an atheist because I know I can't know if there's a "God" or not. Of course I'm not going to leave him but I would if he went all weird and started asking me to do anything.

I know a few Muslims and think they are very lovely people. I've just never felt necessary to label myself as any religion.

There’s nothing extreme about not believing in a god!! 😂

Then I would expect you to separate.

The OP also needs to weigh it up and then make their choice to remain or leave.

But sitting down and talking to your husband will be the first step.

From my experience I have so many Muslim friends and of course my friend who converted and there is a great deal of respect for women in the way that they all conduct themselves, talk and treat eachother. That's one friendship group only of course, but I don't like the assumption that being Muslim means a bad attitude to women as it simply isn't true. Their positive attitude is reflected strongly in what they understand the teachings of Islam to be as well.

So he just told you he'd converted, with no warning?

I'm not sure the faith is as much of an issue as the suddenness. It suggests vulnerability and impulsiveness and that he might have been influenced by people putting pressure on him to convert quickly.

I'd be trying to find out more about the community he's joining.

I don't think I'd want to stay with my husband if he converted to any religion...Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, any of them. I have many friends of different religions, used to attend church/faith school when I was younger and I also teach at a faith school but I just don't want to feel like my husband's life is being dictacted by someone/something else. For example, not being able to make plans on certain days of the week because of the need to attend a place of worship, not being able to eat certain foods. I'd also worry that they would then expect our children to follow in whatever religion it was.

Then only you and husband will know the answer.

Sitting down and talking about your concerns. What does this mean for your family way of life. Could you live with this.
You clearly care about him and dont want to leave him.
And why should you based on what a few posters here have said.

Thank you. We are in fact very close and it's all fine and we will talk about it I just wanted to see what MN would think. I don't see myself converting since I've considered it in the past along with all the other religions and not felt the need.

Yes I am a practising Christian, husband is practising Muslim.

Exactly only you will know and be the best judge.

You know your husband and you say you have good communications. So you are 90% there if you can talk to each other.

Do lots of that and hopefully you will get the answers you need.

May I ask what age are you both?