Husband converted to Islam

[newbookonshelf]

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

Deal breaker here- I am atheist.

OP does your OH consider your marriage to be valid in his new religion?

I really dont get this attitude.
If one person in a couple no longer wants to be there, then that's it. There doesnt have to be a reason even.
Boundaries are healthy and good.
If my boundary is "no man buns" and my DP grows a man bun I am perfectly happy to tell him to remove it or I will leave.
If you think that's a silly reason, so what? Absolutely no reason is needed.
Trying to shame people into staying in a relationship wont work and more to the point, why would you? It has no impact on you if OP leaves because of his new religion or because his farts stink terribly. Either reason or none is good enough to leave someone.

Same here, I wouldn’t want to be worried that his friends at pray group start making him “see” the errors of my ways…

Smelling feathers And so do Jews, but there's that teeny tiny difference of Jesus being the son of god?

Apart from him maybe attending mosques on Fridays and praying, which you won’t be joining in, I’d imagine it shouldn’t affect your relationship that much.

Unless your were both members of a religion and he changed his, which isn’t the same here.

Please speak to him and take time to listen. That post about how long it took him and it’s been since he ( or reverted, I think that’s the Islam terminology?) is very useful.

I know various families with one parent a Muslim, and the other of another religion or atheist. They work together just fine.

All the best

I would worry about my partners mental stability if he suddenly converted to any religion . That sort of behaviour is not normal imo

I’m from a Christian background myself but I have known some
lovely Muslims and Jews as friends and colleagues. My thoughts are that, as with any challenges in a marriage, you have to communicate. As PP have said, discuss with DH how he expects to follow his new faith, what your concerns are and where your red lines would be with any future changes he may feel he has to make it impose on you or the DC. I hope you can find a way forward together but if at any point it gets beyond what you find reasonable you can, of course, get legal advice.

Thanks law, that's really interesting! Any research of theories as to why that is?

OR theories

That IS really interesting I noticed this too but assumed it was from henna turning heir hair and beards a reddish tone.
The Prophet Mohammed used to apply henna so it's considered 'Sunna' to follow suit.

Theories are they're replacing the ritual of playground bullying with the rituals of extremism. Wanting a ready-made community after feeling shunned by their own communities as children.

Does make sense.

I'm an atheist and OH is too but if she suddenly took up faith I'd judge it only on the impact it had on my life. If it appeared she was having an actual breakdown then obviously I'd view it differently, but I wouldn't view a sudden faith as a breakdown. People have sudden revelations that are nothing to do with religion as well.

People are entitled to their views on spiritual matters and I'd always respect that where it doesn't directly impinge on my way of life

Please OP tell me he isn’t an Andrew Tate fan 😩 this weird MRA/woman hating influencer just converted for publicity and many of his fanboys are copying him

You have my sympathy. My mother converted too, during my childhood (to the Jehovahs Witnesses). It did place a huge strain on their marriage, and it affected alot of things including friendships.

Excellent post, NiceSmellNiceSmile, and it's the possible imposition of this onto a child which would worry me most. Not because it's Islam - I say the same about any religion - but because for me there should be free choice in these matters

The irony here is that coercion is supposedly disallowed, and that's another factor I'd want to know if he's aware of along with many others

It's bullshit

Well for me this would be the end of my marriage but as we are both staunch atheists I think it’s unlikely.

Most religions aren’t exactly pro-feminism. He might now have different ideas and expectations for you even if he doesn’t implicitly say so. I think you need to have a long talk with him. Work out what this means for you, him, your kids and your future.

@OneTC a persuasive and mature argument, thank you

www.breitbart.com/europe/2014/09/09/ginger-jihadis-why-redheads-are-attracted-to-radical-islam/

This is the article. They say they got the figures by looking at pictures of extremists on the daily mail and guardian website. There has been no survey of jihadis (which is what the article is talking about) or converts, because that would be fucking ridiculous

OP did you have an islamic wedding?
Does your OH's new religion recognise his marriage?

@LadyMonicaBaddingham I'll speculate!
I think red hair has dark associations in Christian history.
Perhaps there are feelings of being more welcomed in Islam? I think the henna theory dying light European hair into red is a stronger theory though....

I found this which may be of interest:
'The origin of the historical Western and Eastern distrust of red hair began long before the Romans encountered the Goths. The Judeo-Christian understanding, as reflected in both the Old and New Testaments, is that all red-haired creatures, human and nonhuman, are reprobate, beginning with Satan and his league of demons. The Bible has often described Satan as having red hair like a goat and as such has been the Judeo-Christian basis of associating red hair with wickedness, deception, and rogues.'
Source:
www.researchgate.net/publication/357043428_The_Devil_Has_Red_Hair_and_So_Do_Other_Dissemblers_in_Ancient_Discourses

I think red hair is viewed as attractive in Arab and Islamic culture. It's related to being fair (light skinned) or being a devout Muslim who applies henna regularly. If you're a white Muslim the assumption is that you must have gone through a journey where you've had to work on your Islam so you're more admired for your dedication and seen as special and in need of handholding and cradling. Because it's rarer to be born into the Islamic faith as a white person, a white person in Islamic dress is seen as a testimony to the power of Islam, it screams convert.

There is even more on this on google, another source example is
www.newageislam.com/islam-west/milo-yiannopoulos-jeremy-wilson/ginger-jihadis-redheads-attracted-radical-islam/d/99139

Very very interesting. I love when a random comment ends up taking us somewhere unexpected!

Are you ginger? You seem offended.

I am ginger and I noticed the phenomenon a few years ago which lead to me googling, where I saw other people had also noticed.

It's definitely a thing, deny it or not.

@OneTC I actually noticed more redheads from looking at mosque attendants Halal butchers, Arabic Islamic/Turkish grocers. There are a few that I pass in local area and noticed it, it wasn't from he news for me.

"We sampled national newspaper coverage of white converts to radical Islam published between 5 August 2013 and 4 August 2014, excluding cases where there was no evidence of extremism or radicalisation. For example, Lucy Vallender, the ginger-haired Territorial Army private who had a sex change and became Britain’s first transgender Muslim woman, was excluded from our results.

We discovered that 76 per cent of white British converts to radical Islam had red hair. In the Daily Mail archives, 69 per cent of white Brits lured into jihadism or the orbit of an extremist preacher were ginger. The number was similar for the Mirror and the Telegraph. The Guardian yielded a full 100 per cent redhead rate for the stories we sampled."

This is the science you're quoting

If you're that shallow you'd end a marriage simply because your partner found a new belief you're either incredibly intolerant or very shallow.