Husband converted to Islam

[newbookonshelf]

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

It would be close to a dealbreaker for me.

I'd be sitting down with him and having a very detailed talk about his intentions going forward. How does he anticipate this impacting the family?

As a Muslim here, married also to a Muslim who is very religious. Some positives from my husband based on his belief of Islam. He's never raised his voice at me, if we have a disagreement, he actually goes silent ...which makes me more annoyed actually 😑. I remember we were having a disagreement once about where to place furniture and I was okay fine do what you want...i came back it was where I wanted it and he said yh you should thank him(pointing to a book about the Prophet Muhammad - indicating you should your wife with love). He is a wonderful father and melts my heart when he plays and interacts with his children. Helps out around the house. Encourages me to gain more knowledge and supports my career. He gives..enormous amounts in charity - thousands per year to be specific. He has such good morals that I've honestly never met anyone like him - even my own brothers are no where near his level when it comes to morality and everyone speaks very high of him yet he's so humble. He wasn't always like this, he was quite different before he became religious - said he was very materialistic. In his spare time he actually just reads books about Prophet Muhammad's life, so is very much inspired by him and his companions. The way he treats his own parents and siblings with kindness is amazing, I've definitely learnt a lot from him. Very blessed to have him in my life. Hope this is something positive for you to look forward to OP if he truly follows Islam because of the teaching rather examples of others.

You said you are both British OP, British what? If he isn't from AM Asian background himself I would be wondering what exactly has prompted him to convert? How old are you both?

Im a Christian, and as a Christian I wouldn’t be happy about this for religious reasons. DH and I go to church together, raise our children as Christians etc, so it would cause some issues I think. Maybe confusing or stressful in that sense.

But as an atheist I don’t think it would bother me if and only if my DH didn’t expect us to be involved to any real extent - except the nice bits! Which is probably a bit shallow of me. (For example, I’d be happy to celebrate holidays with him or get involved with other traditions but I’d not be happy to give up bacon or wine or have my children’s freedoms limited beyond what is usual for a non-Muslim British child).

It depends how it will affect your family I suppose.

As an ex Muslim atheist I'd be gutted because Islam, if followed strictly is a whole life style system. Of course it will impact your lives. In Ramadan, he won't be sharing meals with you. He won't drink alcohol. He shouldn't really celebrate Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries or eat or touch pork.
He may follow a less strict version but if he followed Islam to the letter, he can't actually even be married to you if you aren't Muslim, Christian or Jewish. When he needs to stop what he's doing and go pray 5 times a day, of course it impacts you. He would have a duty to persuade you to convert and to ask you to cover up because he is seen as having that responsibility over his women. There is so much I could write about it.
I couldn't be with a Muslim because of my own personal history with the religion and experience of it, it stings more than a person following another religion.

Muslims call what your husband did as 'reverted to Islam' because they believe everyone is born a Muslim, that it is the only and default faith for all humanity.

Awwww! Nobody asked my opinion but this post was so nice to read! Heartwarming! He sounds lovely 🥹

😂😂😂🤣🤣 what a phrase. My DS is Christian and he circumcised in fact me and his dad are both Christians also.

We communicate very well

But not so well tthat he chose to talk about this with you, or clarify what effect he'd expect this to have on the rest of your household?

Faith is indeed a personal journey, but it's that second factor I'd mostly want to know about, especially how it relates to your daughter

"As a Muslim, I don't see it as a big deal as others are here. There's a negative connotation because of the media but if he follows Islam properly, he will be an even better husband, father, son, brother, colleague and so on."
And there is the problem. Why would being a muslim make him a better husband/father etc?
My experience is that most religious people think like this, that following a religion makes them a "better" person. The implication is that everyone who is not part of the chosen religion is in some way worse, or inferior or not quite up to scratch. That's just one of the reasons that I am atheist.
Even if he doesn't try to convert you, OP, he will start to view you as not as good as him.

When you say he's converted to Islam, what's he actually doing? As in, how has his behaviour changed? No drinking? Regularly attending mosque? Honours zakat?

That's sounds lovely. Thank you for sharing.

Reading some posts on here you would think the men turn into tyrants.

(And what on earth is extreme about not believing in any gods?)

I'd be drawing the line at cooking with halal meat - it's very cruel.

Non-stun halal meat is arguably cruel (by the already low standards of industrial abattoirs) but the vast majority of halal meat in the UK is pre-stunned.

There’s so many sects of Islam which then impact how those people interpret the Quran and live their lives. For example I have people I work with who are Muslim who don’t drink and cover up and others who are Muslim who drink and don’t cover up…I guess what I am trying to say is based on what sect he is following and how his interpretation varies may or may not impact your current life and lifestyle. Any true believer should not impose their belief on you. I would let him explore his new faith and where you have questions just ask him and don’t be hesitant to raise concerns.

For me, it wouldn't matter what religion. I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with any kind of religious convert, or indeed any religious person at all.

My questions would be what's he latched on to and why? You can think your Muslim friends are generous to charities and up your game without have to convert. You can note they are very family focussed and be more mindful about how you prioritise your own family without converting.

We wouldn't accept that a phone is made without a creator yet nowadays the idea is pushed that the best of creation (humans) have been made without a Creator.

I can accept that billions of people believe in a Creator, for reasons which are perfectly valid to them.
I can't accept that humans are "the best of creation."
In a few tiny centuries, we have despoiled the earth. We wage war, we brutalise other species & each other, we cannot act cooperatively to ensure that all of us can live in optimum comfort & security, but allow a minority of psychopaths to resource hoard & power-hog. We have the intelligence & skills to work together to keep the planet & all its life in balance, & we just don't do it, because we lack collective vision & trust.

Surely we can be nothing but a source of major disappointment & shame to any Creator?

I have beautiful Muslim friends, generous, kind and the best friends I could have. There is too much bad stereotyping about Muslims in our countries when the big majority are beautiful souls.

You need however to have a serious conversation with your DH about what his conversion means for you and your family and the expectations it may bring to you all. Be honest and frank with any issues you can think of creating negative impact to you and the family.

My partner converted to Islam about nine years ago .I will be honest it caused some problems at the time , as he was very full on . He has pretty much stopped practicing now.One issue was fasting , when none of the rest of us do , another thing was we had a shared interest in tattoos , which obviously ended .

I'm not sure tbh - if he truly commits to it then it means a lifestyle change for him which in turn means a lifestyle change for you and your household. For me it would be a shifting of the goal posts too far for me to get on board with but that's just me. It's very good that you are openly communicating.

Mashallah

Dh is Muslim and I absolutely agree with this. Some people have very warped views on Islam and it’s easy to be led astray.

It would be deal breaker for me too. It’s his choice but it will eventually start impacting on you and your life and that’s not fair.

I understand the worry as someone has mentioned there are lots of negative connotations with the religion thanks to the media. I myself am Muslim and my brother in law is a convert (white, British). But the 'normal' type if that makes sense, so yes some can fall into the hands of people who spread misinformation. The actual religion is very humbling and not at all how it is portrayed on TV.

I mean at the end of the day it is his decision but it should not affect the house as it is a choice he has made for himself and it is not permissible to force views onto others.